Puck and Rachel One Shots
by X5 - 452
Summary: A collection of one shots about our favourite characters, Puck and Rachel. One shots turned out to be in order so these are moments in time between Puck and Rachel. Chapter 26 - In Which Puck Decides He Hates Dopplegangers
1. In Which Puck Discovers Rachel Has Sass

**AN: This is set just after Puck joins Glee, before Rachel has her diva tantrum and quits. This will just be a collection of one shots that aren't related unless specified. Just a couple of Puck and Rachel moments.**

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**In Which Puck Discovers Rachel Has Sass  
**  
"Has anyone seen Rachel?" Mr Shue asked frowning a little. It wasn't like Rachel Berry to be late, especially to Glee. The others all shrugged their shoulders, none had seen the resident diva since last period.

Puck didn't say anything but he had definitely seen her. He had seen her and then thrown a slushie in her face. He didn't really enjoy the act, it felt kind of wrong now that he was part of Glee, but he had a reputation to protect and not throwing a slushie in Rachel's face would damage his reputation.

"I'll go look for her," Finn offered quickly and Puck looked over at Finn in disgust.

Finn had Quinn and still he persisted in chasing after Rachel Berry. Quinn may not want Puck to have anything to do with the baby, but he'd be damned if he would let Finn make Quinn unhappy. Quinn was carrying his baby and if Quinn was happy then the baby was happy and that was all that mattered to Puck.

"I'll go, I need to hit the can anyway," Puck said standing up, and making his way to the door before anyone had a chance to protest.

Puck knew that Rachel had probably retreated to the girls bathroom to change her clothes and since it was after school he strolled right in and stopped on seeing Rachel Berry clad only in her panties and bra, bending over and rummaging through her bag. Puck had sworn off high school girls, but seeing Rachel in her underwear made him remember why he liked them so much to begin with. She was wearing this tiny pair of boyleg white lace underwear and Puck could not take his eyes off her. Rachel picked up a skirt and stepped into it starting to slide it up when she raised her eyes and froze upon seeing Puck.

Puck knew he had been caught like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar and so he said this with a huge smirk of appreciation on his face.

"Whoa, Berry, I had no idea you were packing that underneath your grandma clothes, I'm impressed."

"You're a pig," Rachel rolled her eyes then slid her skirt all the way up and did the zipper unperturbed by his presence, barely throwing him another glance.

For some reason watching Rachel dress herself seemed a little...sexy. Shit, Puck had been in Glee for too long if he thought Rachel Berry was sexy. Puck was turning into Finn. Rachel reached for a new shirt, a white one and pulled it over her head. Puck caught a glimpse of a star necklace that hung between her lace white bra clad breasts. He vaguely thought the star was pretty damn lucky.

Wait...what the heck was Puck thinking? This was Rachel Berry and she was not someone Puck found attractive. Although; he couldn't stop himself admiring the curve of her breasts as she reached her arms up into the shirt and the way they jiggled when she was trying to tug it down. Apparently Puck's teenage hormones found her very hot when she was half naked and not speaking.

_Get it together Puckerman you don't do geeks_, he told himself, still not able to bring himself to stop looking at her.

"Did you come in here for a reason other than to ogle my body?" Rachel asked him haughtily, her hands on her hips and her eyebrow raised.

Puck had no idea what ogle meant but he figured that's what he must have been doing and it had to stop. He could not find Rachel Berry attractive.

"Mr Shue's looking for you," Puck said, then he turned and left the girls bathroom retreating to the boys because he really did need to take a piss.

He shook his head as he approached the stall undoing his pants zipper. Rachel Berry and sexy did not mix. Puck told himself that he would have thought any chick was sexy in her bra and panties, yeah, absolutely any girl. Puck started to do his business when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and he felt like he was being watched.

He twisted his head and saw Rachel Berry standing behind him, her arms folded across her chest. In spite of himself, Puck blushed and hurried to do up his pants. Rachel snorted in an unladylike manner which was a deviation from her usual persona.

"Don't stop the show now, I'd hate to have to ask for my money back," she said dryly, then spun on her heel and exited the bathroom.

Puck stared after her in shock. Rachel Berry had just burned him, she burned him badly. Puck finished doing up his pants and returned to Glee and his eyes unconsciously went to Rachel. She was innocently perched on her chair listening to Mr Shue.

Puck moved to sit next to her and she shifted awkwardly, refusing to meet his eyes. Mr Shue started explaining the new song that they would be learning and Puck leaned towards Rahel so that he could whisper in her ear.

"You are a lot more entertaining than I had originally thought Berry."

"I'm just so pleased that I can amuse someone as brainless as you," she replied sarcastically under her breath and Puck smirked.

Rachel Berry had sass, who would have thought?

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**AN: Yeah I'm bored at work again, so ta daa!! This won't be updated often. Just whenever I get ideas for scenes that probably won't fit in with my Make Me Forget story so I will turn them into one shots and post them here.  
**


	2. In Which Puck Learns French

**AN: So I guess this would be set before he convinces Rachel to let him work on mash up ideas with her. I love sassy Rachel :) she is a little OOC I know, but I prefer her with a little bit of spark.  


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****In Which Puck Learns French  
**  
Puck was slurping his drink waiting for Rachel Berry at her locker. Yes that's right, he was actually waiting for Rachel Berry. Last night is mom had told him that she wanted him to date a Jewish girl and the first Jew that came to his mind was none other than Rachel Berry. It helped that she had a smoking hot bod, and he figured he could put up with the senseless chatter about musicals and some dude called Tony. Especially if she let him touch her boobs.

Rachel came walking up the hall and when she saw Puck holding his slushie her shoulders stiffened but she didn't stop walking holding her head proudly. She was not afraid of him. When they came close to each other Puck reached out and grabbed her arm pulling her aside, away from the crowds that were starting to filter into the halls. Rachel looked up at him curiously wondering what had gotten into him.

"You want to go out tonight?" Puck blurted out, then he glanced around him making sure no one heard.

Luckily no one was paying attention to him since all eyes were on Finn and Quin who had just entered school. Now that everyone knew that Quin was up the duff she had become the centre of attention for all the wrong reasons. Puck let his gaze fall on Quin's pained face, before he turned back to Rachel.

"Out where?" Rachel asked frowning up at him suspiciously and Puck couldn't quite help the sneer that came to his face.

"Out on a date Berry," he reiterated for her slowly like she was stupid and Rachel's frown deepened.

Rachel peered around him, a perplexed look on her face, like she was expecting someone to jump out from behind him and throw a slushie in her face. Puck could understand her reasoning, since just yesterday he had thrown a slushie in her face.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Rachel asked incredulously and Puck sighed with irritation. This was not the usual response he got when he asked girl's out on dates. Usually they would blush and giggle then run off to tell their friends.

"No," he said shortly and Rachel cocked her head to one side, still confused.

"Why would you want to go on a date with me?" Rachel queried a little hesitantly though a smile came to her face and Puck scratched the back of his head in annoyance. How hard was it for her to just say yes?

"My mom wants me to date a nice Jewish girl, you're a nice Jewish girl and you aren't bad looking, I figured that you would do," Puck explained bluntly and the small smile that had come to her face disappeared instantly, and an ice cold expression took over.

"I am flattered Puck, of course its every girls dream to be asked out on a date by a boy and then be told that said boy only asked her because she has mediocre looks and fits his mother's request of being Jewish, but I will have to decline your most generous offer, see you at Glee," with that said Rachel turned and did her famous storm off as she hurried to her first class leaving Puck standing there alone in the halls wondering what the hell just happened.

It all sunk in fairly quickly. Rachel Berry had just turned him down. Puck felt himself grin, now here was a challenge. Rachel Berry was turning out to be very surprising indeed.

* * *

As she walked to her second class of the day Rachel was acutely aware of someone breathing down the back of her neck and then she was overwhelmed by the soft scent of...chocolate? Rachel sniffed again hesitantly. Definitely a chocolate scent, it kind of made her mouth water. Rachel twisted her head to look behind her and was startled to see Puck standing there. She had thought for sure Jacob Ben-Israel was stalking her again.

"Did you bathe in chocolate?" Rachel asked him, a little unnerved to find him standing so close to her and she took an involuntary step away from him and her back hit the lockers. Puck took a step forward grinning.

"It's Axe Dark Temptation," Puck smirked and bent his head towards her so that their faces were inches apart, "Tempted to take a bite?"

Rachel placed her hands against his chest and pushed him, with more force than Puck thought she possessed, and managed to push him a couple of inches away from her.

"Not in the slightest," she retorted haughtily, preparing to continue on to her next class but Puck moved out in front of her blocking her hasty escape.

"Go out with me," Puck persisted again and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Non," she said with a slight accent and Puck stared at her in confusion.

"What?" he asked not understanding what she was talking about and Rachel sighed deeply.

"Apparently you didn't understand me in English so I'm telling you no in French," Rachel informed him politely, clutching her books to her chest wondering if her rejection of him would take much longer as she really didn't want to be late to class.

"You speak French?" Puck asked in disbelief, Rachel was full of all sorts of surprises. Very briefly he pictured her whispering dirty things to him in French. He liked the idea of dating her more and more. Rachel tried to sidestep him and Puck blocked her again, "Look, I just want to take you on a date, just give me a chance."

"Why should I? You are the guy who has thrown a slushie in my face ever week since my freshman year, if not twice a week," Rachel pointed out, her voice becoming more high pitched the angrier she became as she remembered the hundreds of slushie attacks he had put her through. Somewhere deep inside, Puck felt ashamed, somewhere deep, deep inside.

"People change Berry, I joined Glee didn't I?" Puck countered her attack and Rachel glared up at him.

"You joined but you don't strive to be any better, you could be a great male lead, I've heard you sing but you never even try for a lead, you just sit in the back and make fun of us, you haven't changed at all," Rachel spat at him with disgust and Puck had to concede that she was right. He hadn't really tried at all.

Rachel attempted to walk around him and Puck blocked her again, his hand reaching out to hold onto her arm. Rachel tried to ignore the way a spark flew through her at his touch, like electricity. She looked up at him and his face had softened, he looked humbled by her words. Rachel noted his strong jawline and hazel eyes, all in all, Noah Puckerman was not entirely unfortunate, in fact he was quite handsome and charming. Rachel figured that if he did try hard in Glee he would surprise them all including himself, and if he could do that then he might be someone that she would consider going on a date with.

"What if I prove that I can change?" Pcuk asked her softly and Rachel looked surprised at the effort he was making and she wrenched her arm from him.

"I'll believe that when I see it," she replied a challenge in her tone and then she walked around him and down the hall, her skirt swishing as she went.

Puck watched her walk away from him for the second time in that day. He was surprised that she thought so highly of him, that she believed he could actually be a lead if he really tried. No one else had ever believed in him the way she did.

Puck considered his options and made a decision. He would win the lead and the girl; that sounded like a good plan, now all he needed was a chance to prove himself.  


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**AN: Just another little fun moment between them. If anyone has any ideas of one shots that they would like to see just let me know!**

**One of my other ideas is Kurt and Rachel crashing Senior Prom :) and the other is Rachel and Puck getting trapped somewhere playing a game of sardines :) Don't ask me why they are playing sardines, I haven't worked it out yet lol**


	3. In Which Puck Gets Stuck In a Closet

**AN: This one shot has a reference to the previous one shot, about Puck wearing Dark Temptation deodorant that smells like chocolate.**

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**In Which Puck Gets Stuck In A Closet With Rachel Berry**

"Really Berry? This was the best place you could think of to hide?" Puck asked sarcastically as he looked pityingly at Rachel who was standing in the closet in his little sister's room. Rachel grimaced at him through the clothes that were hanging up as though annoyed he had been the first one to find her.

"Shut up," Rachel snapped at him grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him into the closet with her, making sure to close the door behind him.

They stood there in silence for a moment; there was no light so it was pitch black.

"Get your hand off my behind Noah Puckerman," Rachel growled into the darkness and Puck chuckled removing his hand reluctantly as per her request.

Rachel could not believe her parents had coerced her into this...this...abomination of a party. Her dad's had met Puck's mom at temple when they realised that both Rachel and Puck were in Glee Club together. When Puck's mom had mentioned how hard it would be for her to host Puck's sister Hannah's tenth birthday party alone, Rachel's dad's had happily volunteered Rachel's assistance because "That is just what good Jews do Rachel Barbara Berry." Which half explained why Rachel was trapped in a tiny closet with Noah Puckerman.

Rachel's parents had dropped her off at the Puckerman house at 9am promptly that morning where Rachel had been introduced to Hannah and Dianna Puckerman by her dad's who then left her there. Rachel had helped Dianna with the food preparations and decorations dutifully. When she queried why Puck was not assisting Dianna had rolled her eyes and said that her son had decided to sleep in all morning like the lazy sod that he was. He had woken up just before 1pm which was when the party started and trampled down the stairs surprised to see Rachel sitting in his kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, a little unnerved to find her there and Rachel glowered at him but smiled sweetly when his mother glanced her way.

"Rachel has been a great help to me today Noah Puckerman, which is more than I could say for you," Dianna scolded him and Puck looked at the ground sheepishly.

"Sorry mom," he apologised and Dianna just ruffled what hair he had on his head fondly. The doorbell rang and Dianna and Hannah hurried to answer the door and greet the guests. Rachel stood up and made her way over to Puck who was trying to decide whether to have a party pie or sausage roll first. Both looked pretty good and he was starving since he missed breakfast.

"Now I have put together a planned activity list, at precisely 1.15pm we will start a game of musical chairs..." Rachel started to order him around and Puck just laughed taking a sausage roll and dipping it in sauce before shoving it completely into his mouth.

"Berry stop, it's a party, you don't have to plan anything, the kids will eat their body weight in candy and then run around until they pass out," Puck said simply, his mouth full of food and Rachel frowned at him, a little disgusted by the half eaten food rolling around in his mouth.

"And what if they get bored?" Rachel queried, a challenge in her words and Puck shrugged.

"If they get bored, we will just get them to play sardines, its way easier to play than musical chairs," Puck had told her easily and Rachel had reluctantly let Puck throw her list into the bin as the party began.

And that was how Rachel ended up stuck in a closet with Noah Puckerman. If he had just followed Rachel's original plan they would be playing duck, duck, goose right now, not stuck in a closet waiting for a bunch of kids to find them and squeeze in here with them. Rachel had been standing in this ridiculous closet for a while now and so she tried shifting her legs to get her blood circulating but one of her knees gave out and she fell forward against Puck who was surprised by the sudden contact and fell backwards against the closet wall. Rachel was pressed against Puck's chest, right between his legs as he tried to keep balance and stay on his feet.

"Berry if you wanted me all you had to do was ask," Puck commented suavely and Rachel rolled her eyes even though it was dark and they couldn't see each other.

Rachel tried to stand up straight and placed once hand against his chest feeling his rippling muscles beneath her fingers and she wiggled against him trying to get feeling back in her foot. Puck moved one of his hands around to her backside again to cop a feel which didn't go unnoticed as she slapped his hands away indignantly. She managed to get back up on her feet and she felt Puck shift beside her back into a standing position. If he weren't so damn built they would have more room, but he pretty much took up all the closet space. Rachel would have cursed his muscles if she didn't like them so much, not that she would ever, ever tell him that. He didn't need to know that he was physically attractive, Rachel was fairly sure he was already very much aware of that fact and his ego needed no further encouragement.

They stood there in silence for a long while until Puck let out an annoyed sigh.

"It's been forever, let's just get out of here," he said huffily and there was the sound of a rattling door handle but the door remained shut. Puck tried again before stating dully, "It's locked."

"Let me try," Rachel sighed in exasperation nudging him out of the way and Puck frowned at her in the darkness a little offended by her assumption.

"Don't you think I know how to open a door?" he asked mockingly and Rachel didn't say anything just reaching out her hand for the handle.

Their hands touched briefly and Puck moved his hand out of the way so that she could try. Rachel tried twisting the knob but it was indeed locked as Puck had said.

"Hannah!" Puck yelled banging on the door and they heard the distinct sound of a little girl giggling. Great, they were locked in here by Puck's sugar filled younger sister, "Hannah let us out!"

"Not until you tell her you love her!" Hannah shrieked from the other side of the door.

Rachel was glad for the darkness before her face blushed bright red. Puck continued slamming his fist against the door and threatening his sister who just laughed.

"Cake time!" Dianna's voice rang throughout the house and in an instant they knew Hannah was gone to blow out the candles of her cake. Hannah was gone and she was the only one who knew that Puck and Rachel were locked in her closet together. This was just perfect. Rachel sighed deeply.

"This is just great," she muttered sliding down the closet wall so that she was sitting down and Puck just grunted, not sounding any happier than she felt.

He slid down the wall as well but found there was not enough room for him to sit down with them facing each other the way they were. If she turned around and sat between his legs they would be able to fit.

"Turn around," Puck said gruffly and Rachel froze when she felt his hands on her shoulders.

"What?" she squeaked and Puck sighed.

"Just turn around," he commanded and when she hesitated he added sarcastically, "I'm not going to jump you Berry I just want to sit down."

Rachel obediently turned to face the closet wall and felt Puck sit down behind her, a leg either side of her body, then he pulled her to sit between his legs, his arms resting comfortingly around her waist as if they belonged there. Rachel had never sat so intimately with a boy before and for the second time since she had stepped into the closet she was grateful for the darkness. Puck bent his head to her neck and inhaled causing Rachel's body to tingle.

"Your hair smells nice, like strawberries," Puck murmured absently and Rachel gave a smile.

"You still smell like chocolate," she replied softly and Puck chuckled.

"So since we are both bored, wanna make out?" Puck asked her and Rachel folded her arms across her chest, ever conscious of the way he held her back against his body.

"Not if we were the last two people on earth," Rachel retorted trying to lean forward away from him but Puck refused to let her go. Puck traced a finger down the side of her neck before dotting a trail of kisses along her bared skin.

"Come on Berry, you know you love making out with me," he growled against her neck and Rachel barely managed to keep control of her senses when he sucked on the sensitive flesh between her neck and shoulder.

"I don't think it would be worth all the money I would have to spend on mouth disinfectant," Rachel quipped smartly, but she didn't move away from him, allowing him to nibble on her neck, enjoying the feel.

Puck knew that she didn't mean that. They had dated for all of three days last week and Puck had been slightly miffed when she broke it off with him. He had enjoyed spending time with her, and he had especially enjoyed the making out. Who knew, maybe he could change her mind and get her to date him again?

"Rachel," Puck whispered her name and Rachel shivered involuntarily against him,

"Yes Noah," she replied breathlessly and Puck felt himself harden at the sound of her saying his name like that.

"I'm going to kiss you," Puck told her using his hand to guide her head to the side and he bent his head over her shoulder slowly.

"Okay," Rachel agreed closing her eyes and Puck bent his head and pressed his lips to hers.

She responded instantly by darting her tongue into his mouth and Puck took that as full steam ahead. While he kept her mouth occupied his left hand slid up her body to touch her breasts over her shirt. He half thought she would push him off like she always did but to his surprise she let him cup her left boob. Puck was in heaven. Puck's right hand held her face to his possessively. Rachel shifted slightly, wiggling out of his grasp as she turned her body so that she was on her knees in between his legs. Her arms wound around his neck as they continued to kiss and Puck ran his hands up her bare skin under her shirt. Rachel's hands moved down to grip the hem of his shirt and then she roughly tugged it up over his head and Puck figured it was an eye for an eye so he grabbed the hem of her shirt and slipped it over her head. Rachel didn't protest and their lips met once again when they were both shirtless. Puck's fingers were itching to touch her under her bra. Oh yes, he was going to get to second base with Rachel Berry. His finger tips trailed up her body giving her goose bumps and he kissed down her jaw and then down to the valley between her breasts. He couldn't wait to see them, to taste them, to hold them, this was the greatest moment of his life...

The closet door swung open to reveal Dianna Puckerman staring down at her son and party helper, who both had no shirts on and were making out on the floor of her daughter's closet. Puck and Rachel pulled apart from each other guiltily.

"I..." for once in her life Rachel Berry was speechless and she grabbed a shirt and bolted past Dianna, her face flushed bright red with embarrassment.

Puck just sat there, shirtless in his sister's closet with a big grin of satisfaction on his face. At his mother's stern glare Puck hid his smile and tried to do what he did best; lie.

"Mom, it's not what you think," Puck said standing up nearly hitting his head as he stepped out of the closet without his shirt on.

"I think you were trying to get to second base," Dianna stated matter-of-factly and Puck coughed, hating to hear his mother say anything remotely sexual.

"OK, so maybe it was what it looked like," Puck confessed grinning sheepishly and Dianna continued to glare at him reproachfully.

Puck knew what was coming. 'I taught you better than that Noah,' and 'that is no way to treat a young lady' and last but definitely not least, 'I'm so disappointed in you.' Dianna's death stare was interrupted by Rachel creeping back into the room, holding Puck's shirt against her chest trying to cover her half nakedness.

"Sorry, I took the wrong shirt," Rachel apologised awkwardly and Dianna just sighed shaking her head before exiting the room muttering something about teenagers and that she wasn't done with Puck.

Rachel scrambled for her shirt but Puck grabbed is first and hid it behind his back grinning cheekily.

"Give me back my shirt," Rachel hissed throwing his at him with annoyance which in hindsight was a bad idea because it left her vulnerable. Rachel quickly covered herself with her hands.

"I'll give it back on one condition," Puck told her, still grinning and Rachel raised an eyebrow, not completely trusting him, especially when he smiled like that.

"And that is?"

"Go on a date with me?" Puck gave her the simple condition and Rachel answered him begrudgingly holding on her hand for her shirt.

"Fine."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Puck said meaning every word as he gave her back her shirt and Rachel slid her arms in and pulled the shirt over her head quickly.

"You are such a pig," she snapped at him, looking annoyed but Puck could see amusement in her eyes, and the small smile she had on her face.

"And you love every second of it," Puck winked at her lewdly and Rachel huffed and spun on her heel heading downstairs.

Puck tugged his shirt on and wasn't surprised to see his little sister enter the room, determination in her step.

"You owe me ten bucks," Hannah reminded him of their deal, "I locked you both in my closet like you asked."

Puck had watched when Rachel went to hide and told Hannah he would give her ten bucks if she locked them in the closet together and kept the kids away from her room.

Puck handed over the money happily; it was the best ten bucks he ever spent. He got face time with Rachel and a date. Puck was a devious mastermind.

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AN: Puck is so devious. I might work on Kurt and Rachel crashing prom later this weekend. It's always fun when Kurt's involved....well when he isn't being a giant doodle like he is being on the show. I could not believe the way Kurt acted this week on Glee, I wanted to bitch slap him. Who's with me? LOL

**_CALLING ALL PUCKLEBERRY FANS! _**

Go to google and search 'Glee Love Debate'. It's from E online! And it's the first link to pop up.  
You vote who Rachel should be with and the people on there are trying to say Puck and Quinn should be together so that Rachel and Finn can be together.

We cannot stand for this Puckleberry Fans so let's go vote the shit out of this thing so that Puck and Rachel win! Go now! Do it!

**_Puckleberry Bitches Unite! _**

**_Hmm we should make that our slogan...I'm certainly going to make it mine. I'm going to post it on my profile somewhere, if you love Puckleberry you should do the same! _**


	4. In Which Puck Gets Stalked

**AN: So these were supposed to be random one shots, but for some reason, they all make sense LOL Like they follow in a chronological order. So....these are one shots but they jump forward in time, and follow a story that I'm not sure really has a purpose, it just started as fun moments between Puck and Rachel and now its whatever the dickens this is.**

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**In Which Puck Gets Stalked**

Rachel stormed into Glee on Thursday afternoon completely annoyed. Kurt and Mercedes were present and didn't bother looking up as Rachel threw her bag down on a chair.

"Ugh, he is just so darn frustrating!" she growled angrily and Kurt looked up hopefully.

"Finn?" Kurt guessed. If Rachel hated Finn then that was one girl out of Kurt's way.

"Finn is the epitome of perfection, I'm talking about Noah Puckerman," Rachel declared, her voice deepening at the mention of Puck's name.

"Here we go again," Mercedes muttered under her breath rolling her eyes. Since Rachel had helped at Puck's little sister's birthday party on Sunday Rachel had been cursing his name all week. It didn't help that he smirked at Rachel all the time, like he knew something that no one else did.

"It's like the more I refute his advances, the harder he tries," Rachel huffed throwing herself down into her chair and folding her arms under her chest. Rachel didn't know why she was so angry with him.

Maybe it was because every time Puck looked at her she felt like he was imagining her with no shirt on, and that made her even angrier because he had actually seen her with no shirt on. Or maybe it was because every time he saw her he would whisper for her to not forget their date this Friday night. Rachel couldn't believe she had agreed to go on a date with him. She claimed temporary insanity for even agreeing to it, and he had been blackmailing her at the time as well.

"Maybe you should go all 'Crazy Rachel' on him," Kurt commented airily and Rachel frowned at him.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying, you acting disinterested clearly peaks his interest, so maybe if you went 'Crazy Rachel' on him he would lose interest," Kurt said simply and Mercedes nodded following Kurt's line of thinking but Rachel couldn't get past the 'Crazy Rachel' reference.

"What do you mean by 'Crazy Rachel'?" she demanded, her voice becoming high pitched and Kurt sighed like it was a big chore to have to explain himself.

"Miss Diva, the normal you is very intense, especially when you like a guy because you focus on them so much, it actually makes you quite stalkerish, we call that side of you 'Crazy Rachel'," Kurt explained to her slowly and Rachel frowned at him.

"I take offense to that, I am not crazy," Rachel stated proudly and Mercedes snorted with laughter.

"Yeah, and I'm not black and Kurt isn't gay," Mercedes deadpanned just as Finn and Quinn walked into the choir room, only just hearing Mercedes' last sentence. Finn looked over at Mercedes a little hesitantly before speaking.

"I don't know how to tell you this Mercedes but you are black and Kurt is gay," Finn pointed out to her sympathetically, like he felt sorry that Mercedes didn't realise these two things and Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"White boy, you are lucky you are good looking," Mercedes told him shaking her head and Finn paused a moment and then grinned goofily.

"Thanks," he said proudly looking over at Quinn who just shook her head at him.

Rachel zoned out of the conversation considering what they said. Maybe they were right; if Rachel started showing interest in Puck surely he would get bored with her and leave her alone.

Rachel decided that Operation: Crazy Rachel was a go, as of now.

* * *

When Puck strolled into Glee he was practically tackled by Rachel who ran up to him, placing a hand on his arm tightly, her grip was vicelike. Puck tried not to notice the electricity he felt at her touch.

"I was thinking maybe we could sit together," Rachel gushed gazing up at him intensely.

"Sure," Puck said shrugging leading her to a seat.

Her new friendly attitude now was a nice change. The last time he had seen her today she had told him that she wished him to 'die a hundred fiery deaths' but now she wanted to sit with him during Glee in front of everyone. Usually she acted as though she didn't want to go near him with a ten foot pole. Something very odd was going on, but Puck didn't mind, maybe if Rachel was still paying him attention after Glee he could fit in some make out time with her in his truck. Out of the corner of his eye Puck saw Finn shifted in his seat jealously, watching Rachel who was still gazing at Puck.

"Your hair looks really nice today Noah," Rachel complimented him, running a hand through his bristles and Puck grinned. It was about time someone noticed that he had just reshaved his Mohawk. Rachel was the only one who had noticed, he liked that she actually noticed things about him. She made him feel important.

"Thanks," Puck replied leaning back in his chair and then just to see how friendly Rachel would let him be he reached an arm around the back of her chair. Rachel didn't seem to notice. Excellent. If things kept up, he would try and graze some side boob.

* * *

When Glee was finally over Rachel was fuming on the inside. Puck seemed to like her fawning all over him. All through Glee she had been staring at him intently, like the way she used to stare at Finn when she was obsessed with him, and Puck had just grinned at her and winked every time he saw her watching him. It was like he enjoyed seeing her act that way around him. Even when she followed him out to his truck he hadn't minded. In fact he had offered an impromptu make out session and, in the spirit of feigning interest in him to scare him off, Rachel had agreed to give him a couple of minutes of her time. It certainly wasn't because she wanted him to kiss her, and she certainly didn't like the feel of his hands on her face or the warmth of his tongue in her mouth, or the way his touch sent shivers down her spine...yeah, Rachel certainly didn't like all that. He had driven away with a content smile on his face which perplexed Rachel even more. Rachel needed to step this plan up a whole other notch. She needed to take 'Crazy Rachel' to the next level.

So that was how she could justify to herself the fact she was sitting in her car outside Noah Puckerman's house at 8pm at night. She was waiting for him to maybe glance out of his window and see her there and think she was a stalker and then he would be so freaked out by her he wouldn't want to take her on a date anymore. It was the perfect plan.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when someone knocked loudly on her passenger window. Rachel looked over to see Puck standing outside her car dressed only in a pair of sweats, his chest tanned and bare. Rachel couldn't speak for a moment as she stared at him. He gestured for her to wind down her window which she did slowly.

"Berry, why the hell are you sitting outside my house in your car?" Puck asked her curiously and Rachel felt her face blush bright red.

"No reason," Rachel managed to stutter averting her eyes from his chest reluctantly.

"Well, my mom wants to know if you wanted to come and have dinner, you know since you are already here," Puck said a grin coming to his face and Rachel had a coughing fit. There was no way she could ever be in the same room as Dianna Puckerman, never mind having dinner with her after what happened at Hannah's birthday party.

"No, I've got to go, bye Noah," Rachel turned the key and sped off into the darkness.

Puck scratched the back of his head shrugging and then returned back inside his house with a smile on his face. Rachel Berry wanted him so bad she had to hang around his house just for a glimpse of him. Oh yeah, Puck was a stud.

* * *

As she drove home in the rain Rachel had to ponder her next move. Okay, so stalking Puck at his house was a monumental fail. Rachel was organised, she had a plan B and that involved her daily MySpace upload. Let's see Puck still want to date her after she posted a song just for him that highlighted her stalkerish tendencies. Puck would be running for the hills after he saw this. Rachel arrived home and ran through the rain into her house rushing up to her room. She quickly set up the camera not bothering to change her wet clothes. Once that was ready she turned on the music and started singing One Way or Another by Blondie, the classic stalker song. She made sure that she stared intensely at the camera the entire time. If this didn't scare him off then there was seriously something wrong with him.

_One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna win ya  
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna see ya  
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha  
One day, maybe next week  
I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha  
I will drive past your house  
And if the lights are all down  
I'll see who's around_

Rachel finished uploading the song then she sent Puck a text.

_:I uploaded a song on MySpace for you. Let me know if you like it.:_

A couple of minutes later she received a text back.

_:I can totally see ur bra through that shirt. Thanx for my special 'song'.:_

Rachel gasped and raced to the computer. There she was singing, staring right into the camera, and her white blouse was wet from rain clinging to her like a second skin. Her red bra was clearly visible through the fabric. She looked like she had tried to enter a wet t-shirt competition. Oh God, he didn't even pay attention to the song, he was perving at her chest the whole time thinking she posted the song wearing a wet t-shirt on purpose. Rachel fell face forward onto her bed and screamed into her pillow. Tomorrow was Friday and if she didn't figure out a way to scare him off they would be going on a date.

* * *

Puck walked into school with a happy bounce in his step. He had watched Rachel's video a total of eight times last night, before Rachel had taken the video down, much to his disappointment. He wasn't exactly sure when he became that weird pervert, stalker guy who watched a girl sing while wearing a wet t-shirt on MySpace but he didn't really care because he got to see Rachel Berry half naked again. Puck opened up his locker and grabbed his books and then shut the locker, startled to see Rachel standing there, a huge smile on her face.

"I just wanted to say that I am looking forward to our date," Rachel gushed getting all up in his personal space and Puck just grinned down at her patronisingly.

"Of course you are," he stated like it was common knowledge, then he leered at her, "What colour bra are you wearing today?"

"None of your business," Rachel snapped at him, using her books to cover her chest as she spun on her heel and stormed off.

Puck watched her go. Rachel Berry wanted him so badly she hung around his locker just to talk to him. Puck smirked to himself as he headed to class.

* * *

It was no use; Rachel would be going on a date with Puck. Everything she tried to do, he just accepted. Like when he was in class and she stood at the door waiting to catch his attention. When he saw her standing there she waved geekily and he winked at her. Rachel had been completely horrified to realise he enjoyed her standing there adoring him. Same thing happened at lunch. She stared at him across the crowded cafeteria and when he saw her looking he winked at her again, not at all bothered by her constant adoration. Her last attempt had been fruitless as well. She had given him a mixed CD full of musical songs that she was sure he'd hate. He had just grinned and taken the CD, adding how it was nice she cared about broadening his musical horizons.

Rachel was nervously checking the time, he was one minute late. Her dad's were sitting in the living room anxiously awaiting the arrival of their daughter's first high school date. Rachel smoothed out the invisible creases in her dress and checked the time again; two minutes late. There was a loud knock on their front door. This was Rachel's last shot at scaring him away. She was going to set her gay dad's on him. Rachel answered the door with her two dad's standing behind her looking proud as punch. Rachel moved to stand beside Puck and twisted her arm through his.

"Daddy's this is Noah Puckerman," Rachel made the introductions and Puck shook hands with both men. Rachel couldn't believe how calm he was acting.

Rachel's dad's inspected Puck closely, from his scuffed shoes to his Mohawk.

"So you're taking our Rachel out on a date?" one of her dad's asked seriously and Puck nodded.

"Yes sir."

"I expect you to keep your hands to yourself at all time's young man," the other added, narrowing his eyes at Puck in a warning gesture.

"Yes sir," Puck agreed but behind his back Rachel could see he was crossing his fingers.

"And what are your intentions?" the first spoke again, his tone pleasant and Puck frowned in confusion, wondering what he was going on about.

"My intentions?

"Towards our Rachel?" the other dad filled in the blanks but Puck was still kind of lost.

"Uhh...I intend to take her on a date to the movies," Puck said not knowing what was going on.

Rachel's dad's laughed like he was making a joke and so Puck laughed as well, wondering what the hell was so damn funny.

"Have her home before eleven," the first Mr Berry commanded and Puck nodded again.

"Yes sir."

"Have you got condoms?" the second Mr Berry queried as if he were asking about the weather and both Rachel and Puck gaped at him.

"What?" Puck coughed, not sure he had heard him right.

"We realise that kids will be kids no matter what we say and we just want to make sure you are prepared in case the situation arises," second Mr Berry explained himself and first Mr Berry was nodding his head in agreement.

Puck had to bite his tongue not to laugh at the 'situation arises' comment; imagining how his situation would definitely arise if he had a shot at bedding Rachel.

"Daddy!" Rachel gasped horrified at the turn in conversation. She had hoped for them to scare him off, not completely embarrass her.

"Well honey, condoms protect you against STD's, you don't want a catch an STD now do you?" second daddy asked her seriously and Rachel bowed her head giving up.

"No daddy," she surrendered then she grabbed Puck's arm, "Let's just go."

"Nice meeting you Mr and Mr Berry," Puck called out as Rachel dragged him away and the Berry's waved them off.

* * *

The ride to the movies was silent. Rachel couldn't believe that after all this; Puck was still happily taking her to the movies. Puck on the other hand was grinning. Rachel's parents had basically given him permission to bone their daughter if she so chose to accept his advances. Puck didn't know what it was about her, but her determination and bossiness was a huge turn on for him. He pulled up into the dark car park and they both exited his truck.

"So Berry, you finally get to go on a date with me, on a scale of one to awesome, it's pretty awesome for you right?" Puck asked her confidently as he snaked an arm around her waist as they walked. Puck liked how it just felt like she fit there, on his arm, pressed into his side.

Rachel suddenly turned to him, exasperated that her plan had failed. She just had to know why he wasn't running off screaming.

"How are you not freaked out by me? I've been trying my best to show you how crazy I am and you haven't run away yet," Rachel blurted out, unable to fathom how he could still be so unaffected by her apparent craziness that drove everyone else away.

"I like crazy you Rachel, I like that sometimes I have to check my closet because I think you've snuck in there, I like the way you focus on me when I speak, I like the way you talk so passionately about things that interest you, I like the way you pay attention to everything I say even if I'm just talking rubbish," Puck shrugged his shoulders awkwardly, not used to having to explain himself to anyone, "I like that you are different, I like that you don't stereotype me, I like that you believe in me, I like that you help me believe in myself."

Rachel stared up at him in awe. She could not believe he felt that way about her. She hadn't known that through his brashness and bravado, he actually saw her and liked her as she was. Rachel was seeing him in a whole new light. Rachel turned and started walking back to his truck.

"Come on," she said bluntly and Puck frowned at her departing back.

"The movie theatre is the other way," he called out to remind her, not moving and Rachel turned back to him and placed a hand on her hip.

"We aren't going to a movie, we are going back to your car," she informed him, her voice harsh and Puck jogged over to her thinking that she wanted him to take her home because she hadn't liked what he said about her.

"Berry I'm sorry if I offended you by saying all that but it's how I feel and..." Rachel grabbed Puck by the collar of his shirt and tugged him forward as she smashed her lips against his passionately. Their tongues fought for dominance for a good five minutes and when Rachel pulled back from him she licked her swollen lips nervously. Puck didn't trust himself to speak in case he woke up from this wonderful dream where Rachel actually wanted him.

"We are going to your car to make out," Rachel whispered to him as she turned and started walking away again and Puck was left there staring after her, watching her sashay up the street towards his truck. Rachel turned her head giving a sultry smile, "If you're lucky you may even get to second base."

Puck have never run so fast in all his life practically tackling her into his backseat.

* * *

**AN: Would anyone like to request another moment between them? I guess since its following a story pattern I'll have to touch on Rachel finding out the baby is his but I have no real plans for any other parts to this story, so I am open to suggestions and requests. **

**If anyone has read my Afterlife story (Twilight) this is exactly how that one started, I came up with a couple of one shot ideas that suddenly turned into a multi chaptered story that actually made sense.**

**Anyway review and all that. This isn't supposed to be a completely serious story, I'm trying to keep it funny, so characters may be OOC. Mostly I just want everyone to have a laugh so thats why this isn't Beta'd and probably makes no sense a lot of the time hahaha.**


	5. In Which Puck Makes A Choice

**AN: No one likes a DTR, especially Noah Puckerman. BTW they have not had sex yet, they just go on dates, make out, sometimes hit second base and that's about it.**

* * *

**In Which Puck Makes A Choice**

Puck came into Glee the following Thursday after his date with Rachel to find Matt, Mike and Finn all seated in the corner watching as Rachel, Brittany and Santana rehearsed some dance steps.

"What are you guys doing?" Puck asked curiously taking a seat beside Finn.

"Watching the girls dance," Matt replied robotically unable to drag his eyes away from the three girls who were moving left and right.

The guys were all watching intently and then all three girls spun at the same time flicking their skirts up, and while Brittany and Santana showed off some not so sexy spankies, the boys got a small glimpse of Rachel's lace red underwear.

"Oh there it goes again," Mike breathed thankfully and Matt nodded in agreement.

"God bless short skirts," Matt declared holding up his right hand, like he was swearing on a bible.

"Amen brother," Mike replied giving him a high five.

Puck had to resist punching them both. They had their own girls to perve on...not that Rachel was Puck's girl...at least not yet. Whoa awkward conversation going on in his head, abort, abort, think of something else. Finn noticed that Puck became tense over Mike and Matt ogling Rachel and frowned.

"So what's up with you and Rachel? Last week at Glee she seemed...ah...different towards you," Finn tried to find a nice way of putting that Rachel set her 'crazy eyes' on Puck last week. Matt and Mike both turned to him waiting to see his reaction. If Puck put a claim on Rachel she would be his unofficially and they would all know that she was off limits.

"Nothing," Puck shrugged absently and when Finn started to smile Puck added threateningly, "But if anyone even looks at her sideways I'm busting skulls, got it?"

Matt and Mike nodded quickly and Finn frowned. Matt and Mike went over to join the girls rehearsing but Finn stayed behind.

"So is something going on between you two?" Finn asked again hesitantly and Puck sighed deeply looking over at Rachel who glanced at him over her shoulder and grinned.

"Why don't you ask her?" Puck replied winking at her, but Finn didn't see the wink because he was too busy staring at Rachel.

"I did, she said 'a lady never tells' or something like that," Finn admitted sheepishly scratching the back of his head and Puck frowned at his best friend.

"Why do you care so much?" Puck demanded thinking it was kind of odd that Finn kept sticking his nose in his and Rachel's business when he had a girlfriend of his own with a baby on the way. Technically it was Puck's baby on the way but Finn didn't know that. Finn looked down at his large hands.

"Rachel is special and sweet, I just want to see her happy," Finn murmured softly, his eyes looking over to Rachel again and Puck didn't really like the way Finn was looking at her.

Luckily Quinn entered the room in all her pregnant glory and Finn's attention went completely to her. Puck allowed himself to look at Quinn's barely there belly for a moment before he averted his eyes. Quinn had made her choice, but if she changed her mind, Puck would be there. He wanted to know his baby girl. Until Quinn did change her mind, if she changed her mind, Puck's attention was focused on Rachel and the ridiculously short skirt she was wearing. He was a teenage boy, he couldn't help it. She took a seat in front of him, not even looking at him and Puck wrote something on a scrap of paper handing it to her when Mr Shue came in and started talking about a new song. She handed the paper back after scrawling neatly, _I would be delighted for you to give me a lift home today, thank you for offering_.

Puck was laying claim to Rachel Berry and all her goodies; her crazy, crazy goodies.

* * *

"Come on," Puck cajoled tracing a finger along Rachel's thigh and Rachel slapped his hand away, not even moving her eyes from her biology homework.

"No," she told him simply, still focusing on her study.

Puck checked the clock, bored out of his mind. Every day for the past two weeks he had sat here with Rachel in the library watching her study, if anyone asked it was because she was tutoring him. Then after he took her for a drive and they would have ice cream, or frozen yoghurt in Rachel's case, and then they would make out a little, Puck would maybe get to second base and then he would drive her home. At school he treated he as he normally did, but outside of school, he was hers.

"Come on," Puck repeated reaching for her thigh again.

Puck had a little fantasy of making out with a hot librarian in a library and Rachel was hot, and her outfits reminded him of a librarian so he figured it would be a half fulfilled fantasy. Unfortunately for him, Rachel took her study time very seriously and kept slapping his roaming hands away from her, just as she did to his hand now. Giving a sigh Rachel finally put down her book and turned to look at him. Puck didn't like the serious look on her face; he liked it when she had the glazed over 'Puck is my dreamboat' look on her face. Serious face meant a serious conversation was coming.

"Noah, it's been two weeks since you have started taking me on dates and while the dates have been wonderful, at school you still pretend not to know me, and we haven't had the DTR talk, and if I don't bring it up I doubt that you ever will, so I'm bringing it up now, what are we doing?" Rachel said this matter-of-factly and Puck was just glad that it was after school and no one at McKinley seemed to realise they had an actual library. Heck, Puck didn't know they had a library until Rachel took him in here.

Puck swallowed hard, unsure of how to progress. He hadn't really giving much thought to defining this between him and Rachel. He liked hanging out with her, and he definitely liked the making out and occasional gropes she let him get away with, and his mother did like her in spite of catching them in a compromising position at his kid sisters birthday party but Puck knew if he asked Rachel to be his girlfriend it would be a serious relationship. She wasn't like Santana, Santana he could use and throw away because that's what she did to him, they didn't even really like each other but with Rachel it would be all about feelings other than lust, and he wasn't quite sure he was ready to grow up and be a part of a real relationship just yet. His other problem of course was that he had knocked up Quinn Fabray, a fact which no one else but he, Mercedes and Quinn knew. If he started this with Rachel and the truth came out, it would destroy her. Puck needed time to go over his options; he needed time to think things through.

"Rach, you can't just spring that on a guy," Puck finally said, trying to blow the whole conversation off and Rachel huffed indignantly.

"Why not?" she demanded and Puck wanted to kiss her, because he found it adorable the way she tilted her nose in the air when he told her something she didn't like.

"Because you just can't," Puck retorted childishly and Rachel frowned at him.

"That isn't a very good answer," she replied calmly and Puck rolled his eyes.

"That's why you don't spring things on guys," Puck told her, then he paused and added, "Unless its sex, then spring away."

"Noah," it was Rachel's turn to roll her eyes at his predictable innuendo. They didn't go through one date with him at least getting two sexual innuendos in. His record was twenty three.

"What do you want me to say Rach? I like hanging out with you, I like making out with you, I just don't know if I'm ready to wave the great big 'I belong to Rachel Berry' flag just yet," Puck said with exasperation, gesturing wildly with his hands to convey how confused he was. Rachel didn't react loudly like he thought she would. Instead she stood up and started gathering all her books, hugging them to her chest.

"Well until you decide if you really want me, you will have to do without both of those things," Rachel informed him coolly and Puck stood up as well.

Who did Rachel Berry think she was, giving him ultimatums like this? Didn't she realise how lucky she was. He was as stud, he could have any girl in school, but he chose her to focus his attention on, wasn't that enough? Damn chicks always have to complicate things with talk of feelings and their silly chick demands.

"So you're making me choose? Either we come out together in public, or it's off?" Puck repeated in disbelief what he thought Rachel was telling him and Rachel smiled.

"You aren't as dumb as you look," she said sweetly staring up at him and Puck grinned.

"How about a little incentive," Puck asked snaking his arms around her waist hoping to get in some make out time and Rachel smiled up at him innocently before kicking his shin viciously. Puck winced in pain and Rachel took his moment of distraction to push him out of her way as she exited the library, giving a haughty toss of her hair in her wake.

"You have until Glee this Thursday," she threw over her shoulder as she left. Puck sat back down on his chair and sighed deeply. He had a choice to make.

* * *

Rachel was early to Glee, which in itself wasn't really that unusual, but Noah Puckerman standing outside the choir room staring at her was. Puck hated the fact that hanging around Rachel had made him become a stalker. He had thought long and hard about his decision. Quinn would go to her grave saying the baby was Finn's and it didn't look like she would be changing her mind anytime soon. Quinn and the baby were the only things that were really keeping him and Rachel apart and if they weren't a problem for him, then he could be with Rachel. Puck sighed deeply. Dating Rachel meant his badassness went right out of the window. The things he did for this girl.

"Alright Berry you win, your sweet little ass belongs to me," Puck declared slamming the choir room door open and Rachel jumped out of her chair in fright and Puck walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist possessively adding fondly, "Along with all the crazy I could ever want."

"Don't tell me you are ready to fly the 'I belong to Rachel Berry' flag?" Rachel mocked him using his words from the week before and Puck smirked.

"I'm flying it high and proud," Puck retorted and when Rachel opened her mouth Puck was reminded that he liked her a whole lot better when she wasn't talking and so cut her off with a kiss. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. Puck thought life was pretty good right about now.

"Hey you guys, what's going on?"

Puck was going to murder Finn Hudson. Seriously, the jury would let him off if he told them that Finn interrupted him trying to negotiate third base with Rachel Berry right? Rachel pulled away from him but slipped her hand into his, like it was normal. Puck decided that he liked her holding his hand, it was soft and warm, like a freshly made cookie; oh man, now he was hungry. He wondered if Rachel knew how to bake.

"Puck just agreed to go public with our relationship," Rachel informed Finn like she was telling him about the weather and Finn gaped at her then Puck in shock.

Puck shrugged when Finn looked at him, he couldn't very well tell Finn that he gave in because Rachel was closing her Berry Shop to him if he didn't date her because admitting that would make Puck pussy whipped and he was no Finn.

"Oh...congrats," Finn said distractedly and Rachel frowned.

"Finn what's wrong?" she asked caringly moving closer to Finn and inadvertently tugging Puck along behind her, since his hand was encased in her iron grip. Finn looked a little wary but then gave in, since he obviously looked like he had been dying to talk to someone. The boy couldn't keep a secret to save his life. Puck didn't know why Finn couldn't do what all other men did; hide his feelings behind macho bravado and inflated ego.

"Since you guys are dating, I can trust you guy's right?" Finn asked softly looking around to make sure no one else was in the choir room and Rachel beamed at him.

"Of course," Rachel assured him then squeezed Puck's hand indicating it was his turn to speak.

Puck just shrugged. What could he say?

'_If by trust me you mean not to knock up your girlfriend then no, but anything else I'm your guy.'_

"I asked Quinn if we could have sex, because she's already pregnant and since we didn't actually have sex to conceive the baby I figured it would be nice to actually do the deed since everyone accused me of doing it in the first place," Finn tried to explain himself not very eloquently and Puck felt uncomfortable. Finn may be dumbass enough to believe the hot tub story Quinn spun for him but Rachel sure wasn't. She studied and everything, so she was pretty smart. Puck could see this going down faster than a pack of Natty Light at an after game party.

"Wait, wait, wait, if you didn't have sex how did Quinn get pregnant?" Rachel asked taking a seat, again tugging Puck down beside her. Rachel looked absolutely perplexed.

"We were in a hot tub and I...uh...you know...anyway, Quinn said that the warm spa water was the perfect breeding ground for the sperm," Finn repeated exactly what he remembered Quinn told him and Rachel just stared at him blankly. Puck could see the wheels ticking in her head.

"You were both just sitting in the hot tub together?" Rachel asked for verification and Finn nodded.

"Yeah."

"With your swimwear on?" Rachel again clarified and again, Finn nodded.

"Yeah."

Rachel sighed deeply. Puck wanted to sink into the floor. So much for Puck being Quinn's baby daddy being kept a secret. Shit was about to hit the fan once Finn worked out you can't get pregnant in a hot tub.

"Finn, I don't know how to tell you this but I take biology and..." Rachel began slowly, like she was explaining something to a three year old and Puck knew he had to do something, anything to stop this car crash that was about to happen.

"Finn just man up and demand your given right as father to that baby," Puck drawled, talking loudly over Rachel and Finn turned to him thoughtfully.

"I don't think Quinn will respond to that," Finn replied hesitantly and Puck shrugged.

"Then remain a virgin who is pussy whipped by his pregnant girlfriend," Puck taunted him and Finn considered his options and then bolted from the room.

Rachel had been sitting there listening to Puck protect Quinn from Finn finding out that Quin was a liar and a whore when it struck her why Puck would bother to protect Quinn in the first place. Rachel removed her hand from his and turned to look at him.

"Oh Noah," Rachel breathed softly, and the disappointment in her voice made him feel ashamed of himself. Tears, anger, hitting, he could handle, but disappointment and knowing he had let her down, that was much worse.

"I screwed up Rach," Puck whispered to her and Rachel nodded getting to her feet.

"Yeah, you did," Rachel told him, her voice shaking and Puck knew that she was going to leave but he didn't want her to go. She was the one good thing he had going for him.

"Please don't leave me," Puck begged and Rachel bit her lip.

"I don't know if I can stay," she murmured softly, not looking him in the eyes and Puck got to his feet and captured her face in his hands, forcing her to look up into his eyes. Hazel met brown. Puck forced himself to speak from the heart.

"Please, I need you Rach."

* * *

**AN: Oh dear, what will Rachel do? I don't know because I haven't written it yet LOL well I have sorta.**

**Well this was supposed to be fun but apparently it's getting all serious LOL sorry. Also I know its unlikely that Finn would come up to both Rachel and Puck and admit he was begging for sex from his pregnant girlfriend but I figured it's my story so you can deal with it, I needed Finn to bring up the hot tub story.**

**REVIEW! I got some great requests through and I am trying to work each one of them into the story!**

**Some Parts Requested by: adrianalazarey**

**Some Parts Requested by: rhiwe**


	6. In Which Puck Talks Dreams

**AN: Requested by Demonic Angel Clone**

**"A future oneshot suggestion could be "In Which Puck Talks Dreams" because I just love the fact that they're both dreamers and fantasizers, if that make any sense."**

**Your wish is my command LOL And here I go throwing seriousness in what is supposed to be a funny fic. Darn me and my angstiness. If that's not a word it damn well should be.**

* * *

**In Which Puck Talks Dreams**

Rachel was standing by her locker waiting for a glimpse of Noah since his locker was located further down the hall. He had to walk past her locker every day, which is what made her such a convenient target in her freshman year. She saw him coming towards her at a brisk walk and Rachel opened her mouth to say his name when suddenly cherry flavoured slushie was thrown all over her. Puck didn't even break his stride. In hindsight, Rachel should have seen the slushie coming. Yesterday when Puck had asked her to 'please stay' with him, she had just shaken her head unable to form a coherent word before she turned and bolted with no further explanation. She figured Noah had a right to be a little angry with her but she hadn't been expecting a slushie facial.

Rachel sighed, realising that she hadn't brought a spare change of clothes to school today. Rachel placed her books back in her locker and grabbed her bag before heading out to her car. She would have to drive home, get changed and come back to school which would mean she would miss her morning classes. Today was not a good day. Rachel pulled up at her house, thankful her dads were at work and she trudged upstairs and into her bathroom. Taking a quick shower and redressing Rachel headed back downstairs and walked out of the front door only to slam right into Noah Puckerman's chest. His hands reached out to steady her and she looked up at him.

"Why did you do that?" Rachel asked, her voice shaking. She was referring to the slushie this morning and Puck bowed his head apologetically.

"I was angry with you, I can't believe you just ran off on me yesterday," Puck snapped snidely, the hurt of her rejection still fresh in his mind. Rachel looked regretful.

"I'm sorry about that but I just needed time to process. It's not every day you learn your new boyfriend impregnated his best friend's girlfriend; I needed time to think about what this meant to me as well as to you. Noah, I'm not ready to be a stepmom, and you; Noah you were upset with me for running out on you when you needed me the most and your first thought is retaliation by throwing a slushie in my face, now does that sounds like the actions of a man ready to be a father?" Rachel said this softly, looking him the eyes and Puck shook his head realising she was right. Rachel sighed deeply, wrapping her arms around herself, "I'm sixteen Noah, I'm not nearly mature enough to worry about being a stepmom. I think I love you Noah but I can barely take care of myself, never mind help you raise a baby."

"Quinn's giving the baby up for adoption," Puck told her, trying to make her see that it wouldn't be hard to be with him. Rachel wouldn't have to raise a baby with him; he just needed her to accept that he made a mistake. Rachel was still hesitant.

"What if she doesn't?" Rachel asked him uncertainly and Puck gave a rueful smirk.

"She will; she doesn't want a reminder around that she cheated on Finn," Puck stated confidently and Rachel looked down at her fidgeting hands as Puck ran his hands through what was left of his hair, "I just...I wish I could be there for my baby but you're right, I'm not equipped to raise a baby."

Puck slowly realised that he knew this all along; he just didn't want to accept it. Rachel looked up when she heard the wistful tone to Puck's voice.

"I think you will make a wonderful father when the time is right," Rachel assured him placing a warm hand on his arm and Puck looked down at her hand and then her face giving a small smile. Even at a time like this Rachel believed in him.

"Thanks," Puck murmured, disappointed when Rachel pulled her hand from his arm.

They stood there in silence facing each other but Rachel was unable to look at him. All Puck could think was that he didn't want to lose her. He had screwed things up so badly, the slushie this morning was like the final nail in the coffin for their relationship he was sure. Their relationship had lasted all of twenty four hours. Still, Rachel finally looked up at him with those soft brown eyes that seemed to say she didn't think he was as big a screw up as he thought he was. Puck had to try.

"Can we go back to before you knew that I'm a screw up?" Puck asked hesitantly and Rachel bit her lower lip thoughtfully.

"No," she said and Puck felt like she had smacked him in the face with a baseball bat. He turned away from her, but Rachel's small hands were on his forearms turning him back to face her and she tilted her head to look up at him, "But we can move forward from here."

Rachel smiled lovingly and Puck enveloped her in a tight hug, so grateful to have her and to have another chance. After a couple of moments Puck's hands moved south to her behind; she should have known that he wouldn't be able to resist copping a feel, even in a serious moment like this. He was a teenage boy after all. Rachel laughed in his ear and for once Puck didn't want to light himself on fire; he actually liked her laughter. Puck felt lighter knowing that Rachel knew his secret and he knew they could move forward together, he believed in himself and her.

At the beginning of the school year Puck dreamt about being with Quinn. He had been admiring her for a long time, and thought that the start of senior year was the perfect time to make his move. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you saw it, Finn had decided to make his own move and before Puck knew it Finn had taken the girl of Puck's dreams. Puck knew that he should have given up on Quinn but he had this little fantasy that Quinn would one day see that he was better than Finn. But that day never came. That night when Quinn had come to him, Puck had thought his dreams were coming through but Quinn had cried afterwards and made him promise not to tell anyone. Puck realised in Quinn's case, fantasy was way better than the real thing.

Ever since he had that dream with Rachel climbing in his window his fantasies always revolved around Rachel, and a lot of the time they weren't even sexual. He had dreamed of being side stage at a musical, congratulating Rachel when she came off stage, he dreamed of dark haired brown eyes children that looked like him and Rachel, he dreamed of snuggling beside her at night. He needed her. Being with Rachel was just as good as his fantasies; most of the time even better.

"Thank you for believing in me," Puck whispered to her and Rachel looked up at him smiling.

"If I don't who will?" Rachel said jokingly but Puck knew that if she had asked that seriously he wasn't sure anyone else would believe in him the way she did.

Rachel was Puck's dream.

* * *

**AN: I'm trying to be more realistic here, not all girls would want to help raise another woman's baby at age sixteen. I know Rachel sounds a little selfish but she's young and scared and the news did kind of just spring up on her. Not sure I like this chapter much but what are you gonna do? LOL**

**Next shot is called 'In Which Puck Teaches Rachel To Be A Badass' which should be a fun chapter unlike this one.**

**REVIEW AND WHATNOT!**


	7. In Which Puck Teaches Rachel To Be A Bad

**Requested by: Booksmartblonde333 who is my favourite lady**

**Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own Glee. Which is a crying shame :)**

* * *

**In Which Puck Teaches Rachel To Be A Badass**

_Friday Night_

"Can you explain to me the purpose of this night out?"

Puck groaned at Rachel's incessant demands. When he didn't respond straight away Rachel poked him in the ribs and he nearly laughed. Luckily she didn't know he was ticklish or he would never hear the end of it. Rachel folded her arms under her chest as she reminded him impertinently, "We could be watching West Side Story right now."

"The purpose of tonight Rach, is to teach you to be a badass," Puck replied digging through his backpack and Rachel sighed with resignation

"But I do not wish to be a bad..." Rachel broke off, unable to say the curse and Puck looked up at her grinning expectantly.

"Say it, go on," he urged her wickedly and Rachel sighed again, this time with exasperation.

"Fine," she snapped, then added a little more softly, "A badass."

"I love it when you talk dirty," Puck drawled leaning over to kiss her lips.

Rachel rolled her eyes but accepted the kiss. Innuendo number one for tonight.

"I knew I should never have let you plan our activities this weekend," Rachel commented shaking her head. Truly she should have known.

"This weekend is a crash course in making you as badass as I am, sit down and enjoy the ride," Puck's voice became teasing as innuendo number two reared its head.

Puck handed her something and Rachel looked down at what she held and dropped onto the grass, appalled.

"I am not doing this, it's juvenile," she huffed standing up but Puck grabbed her arm and dragged her back down into the bushes with him. Rachel fell haphazardly into his lap.

"Newsflash Hun, we are juveniles," Puck reminded her grinning as he handed her the toilet paper again and Rachel raised her eyes to the sky. The things she did for him and his cute smile.

"Whose house is this anyway?" Rachel asked not recognising the house and Puck grin widened mischievously.

"That's for me to know," Puck wiggled his eyebrows at her, handing her another couple of rolls of toilet paper. Rachel looked out of place with the armful of toilet rolls, her eyes looking around like she was sure they would be caught at any moment.

"So we just, throw the toilet paper all over the trees and bushes," Rachel clarified what he had explained to her three times already and Puck grabbed his own rolls of toilet paper, leaning out of the bush a little to make sure that the lights were turned off inside the house. They were. It was go time.

"It's called TPing, it's fun," Puck assured her then he stood up and jerked his head towards the front yard, "Come on babe."

When they had created their masterpiece they ran back to Puck's truck which he had parked around the corner and Rachel's eyes were shining with excitement. As soon as they reached his truck she grabbed Puck by the collar of his shirt and smashed her lips to his, swirling her tongue into his mouth. Puck quickly manoeuvred her so that her back was pressed up against his truck, pressing their bodies together, loving the feel of her boobs against his chest. He wasn't sure what his favourite part of her body was yet, but boobs and ass were pretty much equal right now. Rachel pulled away from him, looking suddenly shy and embarrassed about her lack of restraint. Rachel wasn't into PDA's. She nervously looked around to see if anyone saw them, but of course it was nearly midnight so no one was around.

"I should let you vandalise more often," Puck mused thoughtfully, dipping his head to kiss her again and Rachel giggled against his lips.

* * *

_Saturday Morning  
_  
"I do not have a gun license," Rachel stated staring at the large contraption that Puck was offering her and Puck rolled his eyes.

"You don't need one, it's a potato gun," he explained simply and Rachel eyes it curiously.

"What does it shoot?" she queried and Puck rolled his eyes. Sometimes he had to wonder how his girlfriend could be so smart in school stuff, but so naive when it came to real life.

"Potatoes."

"Oh."

Rachel frowned but held her hands out accepting the gun. Puck moved behind her and helped her aim, his arms wrapped around her. His head swam as he inhaled her strawberry shampoo; Rachel always smelt delicious. Puck explained how the gun worked, where the trigger was and when he felt she was ready he stepped back, wanting her to do this by herself.

"So hold here and pull the trigger when I say, I'm just going to light this," Puck readied the gun that Rachel held then stepped back folding his arms across his chest and nodded at her, "Ok go."

Rachel aimed ready to shoot but felt decidedly ridiculous aiming for the empty soft drink can in the distance. She half turned her body to look back at Puck.

"Noah, I really don't think..." Rachel didn't realise her finger was still in the trigger as she fumbled the heavy gun, and there was a loud bang as potato exploded all over Puck's car. Puck's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You shot my baby!" Puck stated in disbelief running over to his truck and inspecting the damage.

It wasn't too bad apart from the dint in the passenger side door. He turned back to Rachel who had the good grace to look apologetic as she dropped the gun into the soft mud. It had rained the night before so the ground was slightly muddy. She knew that he loved his vehicle, in spite of it being old and a gas guzzler. He had driven them out to this empty field and there was no one in sight for miles. He had even brought a picnic with him for their lunch so Rachel had to admit he had made quite an effort today.

"I'm sorry Noah," Rachel apologised softly, then gave an innocent smile moving to sit on the blanket that he had laid out for them on a dry piece of ground, "Would it make you feel better if I let you get to second base?"

Puck stared at her not knowing whether to be delight or appalled that she thought the best way to make him smile again after she shot his truck with a potato was to let him get to second base. He figured he wasn't going to waste free access.

"Yes, yes it would," he replied crawling down on top of her and Puck's hands found their way up Rachel's shirt.

Puck decided that spud gun lessons could wait, second base was way more important.

* * *

A couple of hours later after they had lunch, Puck pulled her into the driver's seat of his truck while he sat in the passenger's seat. Puck wanted her to take them 'mudding' whatever that was. Rachel was having a hard enough time trying to work out how to drive his manual truck. Her car was automatic.

"Ok babe, now grab the stick," Puck coached her, and when she took the shaft in her hands Puck gave a groan and hissed, "Oh yeah."

Innuendo number fourteen today.

"Your sexual innuendos are losing their amusement the more you repeat them," Rachel told him briskly and Puck grinned at her.

"I'd love to get in your endo babe," he whispered huskily and Rachel gasped with indignation reaching over to slap his arm and she lifted a foot off the clutch stalling the car for the eighth time. Puck sighed.

"Alright, that's it, you are banned from driving my baby," Puck declared then gestured to her to crawl over him, "Move aside."

Rachel wiggled over him in her exceptionally short skirt and Puck made sure to cop a feel as she went, which she was expecting, until they had swapped places and he was in the driver's seat and she was in the passenger's seat.

"Hold on tight darlin'," Puck drawled throwing the truck into gear before he sped through the mud and Rachel squealed with excitement throwing her arms around his neck, clinging to him.

Puck couldn't think of anything better than spending his Saturday afternoon with his girl in his arms driving around in the mud.

* * *

_Saturday Night  
_  
"Ok, this is the worst of your 'prank' ideas so far," Rachel stated shaking her head at him, almost like she felt sorry for him and Puck was shocked.

"What do you mean? 'Forking' is a classic prank, we did it to Finn one year and he seriously thought that his garden was growing plastic forks, it was hilarious," Puck chuckled at the memory and Rachel had to smile knowing that poor gullible Finn would have fallen for that. Puck leaned across and straightened the baseball cap that he had given her for the escapade, tucking her hair back behind her ear and kissing her before explaining importantly, "Forking is like a rite of passage to becoming a badass, it's the final step."

Rachel didn't care much for forking, she would much rather be at home watching a movie and making out with him. Rachel decided to convey how she felt to him by moving to straddle him and deepen the kiss but Puck held back, holding up the forks. Making out could wait, they had a forking to take care of. Rachel knew this was going to happen and so forced herself to focus on the task at hand so that they could get home and spend some 'quality' time together.

"So we just stick these forks in someone's garden?" she reiterated and Puck nodded.

"Yup."

"Then can we go home and watch West Side Story?" Rachel pleaded, her brown eyes fluttering up at him and Puck rolled his eyes.

"Fine."

* * *

_Monday Morning  
_  
Rachel strolled into the cafeteria at lunchtime on Monday and placed her tray down on the table with a flourish. Mercedes and Kurt barely even looked up.

"I have news," Rachel informed them and Kurt looked over at her haughtily taking in her outfit with distaste. Artie and Tina joined the table.

"You've decided to take my advice and stop dressing like a two year old grandma?" Kurt guessed airily and Rachel did a double take at him and then down at her clothes.

"What? No," Rachel shook her head. Kurt was ridiculous, Rachel knew she looked adorable. Noah had said so this morning when he picked her up for school. Rachel took a deep breath and then announced, "I am officially a badass."

Artie chocked on his drink spitting it across the table. Tina laughed at him. Mercedes was about to go into a rant about all the ways that Rachel was definitely not a badass when Sue Sylvester stormed into the cafeteria yelling for the students to shut up.

"Listen up you brats, when I find out who threw toilet paper in my front yard you will wish you were never born!" Sue Sylvester threatened the student population, then she stalked out of the cafeteria knocking one student's lunch tray to the ground as she went.

Mercedes, Kurt, Artie and Tina turned to Rachel opened mouthed and Rachel grinned at them nodding. Being a badass was kind of cool, now she could see why Puck liked it so much. Speaking of, she hadn't seen her boyfriend since this morning when he dropped her at her locker. She swivelled around in her chair and saw Puck and Finn walking towards their table, she greeted them with a wave before turning her attention back to her lunch.

"Dude did you see? Mr Smidt's yard was growing forks the way mine did last year," Finn exclaimed earnestly to Puck as the two came to sit at the Glee table either side of Rachel. Rachel looked over at Puck who winked at her and rolled his eyes in Finn's direction. Rachel erupted into giggles.

"What are you laughing at RuPaul?" a voice interrupted snidely and a flash of hurt crossed Rachel's face but she hid it quickly. Her laughter faded abruptly.

"Hello Quinn," Rachel greeted the pregnant ex-head cheerleader without even turning away from the table. Mercedes and Kurt glanced at Quinn with disapproval but Quinn ignored them. Puck turned and glared at Quinn.

"Lay off her Quinn," he snapped angrily placing an arm around Rachel's shoulders and Rachel smiled at him thankfully.

"Oh I'm sorry Puck did I hurt your man friend's feelings?" Quinn apologised mockingly placing her hands on her hips, purposely jutting her enlarged stomach towards him, as though challenging him.

"Why do you always have to be such a mega bitch?" Puck retorted turning back to the table, effectively dismissing her.

Quinn gaped at him. How dare he talk that way to her when she was pregnant with his kid? How dare he sit there laughing with Rachel looking so free and happy while she was forced to carry this memory of the worst mistake of her life?

"Quinn what's wrong with you? We are all supposed to be friends, Rachel didn't do anything to you," Finn protested his girlfriend's uncalled for behaviour and Rachel turned her head to smile at Finn, grateful for his defence.

"It's always about her isn't it?" Quinn spat at him bitterly and everyone at the table froze.

The true reason for Quinn's unexplained bitchiness towards Rachel came out. Quinn was jealous, and it was incredibly obvious. It probably didn't help that Rachel was comfortably wedged between the two boys Quinn felt she had a claim on; and Rachel was dating the father of Quinn's baby, while rubbing shoulders with the fake father of her baby.

"Quinn; Rachel and I are just friends, she's dating Puck," Finn said slowly looking over at Rachel and Puck then back at Quinn. It had taken Finn a couple of weeks to get used to the idea that Puck was with Rachel, but he had accepted it.

"Well she shouldn't if she knows what's good for her," Quinn responded darkly, her eyes narrowing at Puck in a way that no one missed. Puck, to his credit, just glared right back at her.

"Why do you even care who Puck dates Quinn?" Kurt asked offhandedly, finding her interest and comments about Rachel and Puck's relationship a tad out of line.

Quinn was sick of them ganging up on her. She didn't think it was selfish to want the father of her baby to only focus on her even though she had chosen Finn. She did not want Puck getting off scot free for doing this to her.

"Because I'm carrying his baby and he needs to suffer with me," Quinn growled in frustration and all conversation at the Glee table ceased as they looked up at Quinn.

Quinn clasped her hands over her mouth, unable to believe what she had just admitted. Finn had a smile on his face that faded somewhere slowly as it all sunk in. Puck was the father of Quinn's baby. Quinn turned and bolted. All eyes turned to Puck.

"Noah, come on," Rachel stood up and tugged on his arm, not wanting to cause a scene. Puck stood up wordlessly to follow her and Finn stood up as well staring daggers at Puck over Rachel's head.

"You bastard," Finn hissed furiously and Puck barely had time to push Rachel out of the way before Finn dove at him and tackled him to the ground.

Rachel fell back and hit her head on a table as she went down. Her senses swam as bright stars flashed before her eyes and then her world went black.

* * *

**AN: Damn it, these were supposed to be one shots and now it's turned into some half assed chapter fic. Arrrggghhh!!!! Why brain why? Anyway hoped you like Rachel being a badass (and getting knocked unconscious at the end...Lord knows where I'm going with that.)**

**REVIEW! YOU WANT TO I KNOW YOU DO!**


	8. In Which Puck Learns About Life & Death

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even Glee. I know...it's so surprising.**

* * *

**In Which Puck Learns About Life and Death**

Rachel awoke in a white room, to find Quinn Fabray seated next to her bed. Her head was pounding painfully, like someone was playing the drums in there.

"I'm in hell aren't I?" Rachel accepted the fact with quiet resignation.

She must have hit her head and bled out, and now she was stuck in hell with Quinn Fabray forever. There was still so much Rachel wanted to do with her life which had been tragically cut short, there was so much she still had to achieve, so much...

"Stop with the freaked out face man hands, you're not dead," Quinn snapped with annoyance watching the range of expressions cross Rachel's face and Rachel's brown eyes snapped over to Quinn with alarm.

"Then why are you here? And where am I?" Rachel asked in a panic. Why would Noah leave her with Quinn?

"Hospital, emergency room," Quinn replied shortly and Rachel looked around her room.

That would explain the three other beds in her room, which were currently unoccupied. The room was quite small, one tiny window, various machines around the place, and some flowers on a table. It looked quite depressing actually. Rachel looked back over at Quinn who was looking absently out of the window.

"You didn't answer my question, why are you here?" Rachel persisted with her questioning and Quinn sighed looking over at her.

"I slipped running out of the cafeteria and fractured my ankle, apparently running while pregnant is a bad idea," Quinn said this with bitterness, then she looked back out of the window, "We came here in the same ambulance, you were unconscious."

"Noah..." Rachel started to ask and Quinn snapped her eyes back to Rachel; her expression blank. Rachel stopped talking.

"He came in the ambulance with us but they wouldn't let him in," Quinn replied, answering Rachel's question before she asked it and immediately Rachel was in a panic again.

"Why?" she demanded worriedly and Quinn rolled her eyes at her diva-like antics.

"Because he looks like he joined Fight Club High School Edition."

Rachel remembered the fight between him and Finn. Briefly Rachel wondered about Finn, but knew Quinn was probably not the right person to ask all things considered. Rachel looked up at the plain ceiling, not knowing what else to say to Quinn. They weren't friends; they have never even really spoken amicably. A nurse came into the room and frowned at Quinn.

"Miss Fabray you should not be moving around, please stay in your bed," the nurse scolded her moving to help Quinn back to her bed and Quinn reluctantly got to her feet and hobbled awkwardly over to the bed next to Rachel, climbing in slowly. The nurse made sure Quinn was comfortably in her bed before turning to Rachel, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Miss Berry you're awake, I'll get the doctor, your father's are in the waiting room," the nurse informed her quickly turning to leave.

"Wait, my boyfriend, Noah Puckerman, is he there?" Rachel called out, wincing as her loudness made her head hurt more.

"I'll check," the nurse swept out of the room.

Rachel was glad her dad's were here, thought she felt that it was a bit much just because she fell and hit her head. Rachel hesitantly reached her hand to the back of her head and winced at the tenderness. She felt stitches. Rachel really hoped they didn't cut or, god forbid, shave her hair to stitch her head up, a woman's hair was her crowning glory.

"You knew the baby was his didn't you?" Quinn's spoke to her again and Rachel turned her head slowly to look over at Quinn who was staring at the ceiling, "When I blurted it out you didn't look surprised at all."

"Yes, I knew," Rachel admitted softly and Quinn turned her head to look at Rachel.

"You stayed with him," Quinn commented incredulously.

"Yes," Rachel confirmed and Quinn frowned at her in confusion.

"Why?" Quinn asked, not comprehending how Rachel could have stayed with Noah Puckerman after everything he had done to her in the past.

He had made Rachel's freshman year and part of her sophomore year a living hell, and then he had gotten his best friend's girlfriend pregnant; and still Rachel deemed him worthy of her attention. Quinn couldn't fathom how. When Quinn looked at Puck all she saw was a Lima Loser, when Rachel looked at Puck she saw someone worth believing in, she saw someone who was going somewhere.

"Why not?" Rachel shrugged. Rachel knew exactly who Noah Puckerman was and while he could be brash and a little sex obsessed, he had a good heart and he could be sweet and caring, Rachel bit her lower lip, then offered a branch of friendship, "Everyone makes mistakes Quinn, no one is perfect."

Quinn looked back up at the ceiling.

"I lost the baby," Quinn stated bluntly and Rachel blinked in shock. Quinn lost her baby, Quinn lost Noah's baby. Rachel felt the tear prickling at her eyes, sympathy for Quinn flooding over her, sadness for Noah.

"Oh Quinn," Rachel breathed, her voice full of emotion.

"Save your pity for someone who cares, as far as I'm concerned this was the best thing that could have happened, I can go back to my life and pretend it never happened," Quinn said firmly, her voice not even wavering and Rachel inspected the cheerleader closely for a moment.

"Quinn, you don't believe that," it wasn't a question, just a statement of fact. Rachel could see Quinn's hands shaking by her sides and her quivering lower lip. Quinn was trying to be strong, trying not to cry, and she was taking it out on Rachel.

"I've got to believe that," Quinn whispered strongly and Rachel let her be. Quinn was dealing with this the only way she knew how; Rachel refused to judge her for that.

"Does he know?" Rachel forced herself to ask and Quinn shook her head.

"No."

"Do you want me to tell him?" Rachel asked hesitantly. Rachel didn't really want to be the one to tell him but if Quinn couldn't do it then someone had to.

Quinn looked like she wanted to say yes, but in the end she shook her head.

"No, I'll tell him."

They both fell silent. There was nothing more to say.

* * *

The doctor came by to check on her and declared her 'looking good' in spite of having a slight concussion. Her dad's came in to fawn over her. Strangely, no one came to visit Quinn. Rachel asked her dad's to send in Noah, with a request for some food from the cafeteria, ordering some for Quinn as well even though Quinn didn't ask for anything.

Puck came in carrying sandwiches and chocolates and Rachel had to say, he looked remarkably good for being punched a couple of times by the giant that was Finn Hudson. There was a bruise forming on his cheek, and he had a busted lip but other than that he seemed fine. He rushed over to Rachel and grabbed her hand, leaning in to brush his lips across hers. The sandwiches were forgotten at the foot of her bed.

When he had seen the blood coming from Rachel's head Puck had thought for one god awful moment that Rachel was dead.

_&&&&&&&&&&&_

_Flashback_  
_Finn had been punching him at the time and Puck had flung him off and yelled Rachel's name. The alarm in Puck's voice had halted Finn's attack. The two boys turned to Rachel and she was lying there on the ground completely still, a puddle of blood forming around her head. Puck pushed Finn out of the way and fell to his knees beside her of a mind to gather her up in his arms but Artie's harsh voice stopped him._  
_  
"Don't move her moron, she might have a concussion." _  
_  
"Someone call an ambulance," Puck heard himself say desperately. He wiped the blood from his mouth quickly, jerking his head up to look at Finn. _  
_  
"On it," Kurt cried out, his ear pressed to his mobile phone. _  
_  
"I'm sorry....I didn't mean..." Finn was saying, just staring down at Rachel in horror. Somewhere in the distance they could hear Mr Shue demanding to know what happened and then MR Shue appeared on his knees beside Rachel. _  
_  
"Help us, Quinn's hurt," Santana screamed from the doorway to the cafeteria and half of Glee club went after Quinn; Mercedes, Tina, Matt and Mike while the rest stayed crowded around Rachel. Mr Shue was feeling for her pulse. Finn stood there in the middle of the cafeteria, knuckles and face bleeding, not knowing what to do. Puck had never felt so helpless in all his life. _

&&&&&&&&&&&

Puck came back to the present and pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead, completely serious. He had seriously thought for one horrible moment that he lost her. It also occurred to him in that moment that he loved her, though he wasn't quite sure how to say it and right now didn't really seem like the appropriate time to confess; what with the mother of his child a bed away and all.

"Babe are you okay? I'm so sorry; I tried to push you out of the way..." Puck tried to apologise as the guilt overwhelmed him and Rachel just shook her head.

"Noah, it's okay, it was an accident," Rachel interrupted him, smiling weakly to show him she didn't blame him, but then her face because serious as she said softly; "Quinn needs to talk to you."

Puck's handsome face twisted into a grimace.

"I couldn't give a shit what Quinn wants," Puck retorted hatefully. He only cared about the baby in Quinn's belly; Quinn Fabray could burn in hell for all Puck cared.

"Noah, it's important," Rachel said, squeezing his hand.

Something in her voice alerted Puck. Puck spun to face Quinn who was lying in her bed, a hand on her stomach, tears in her eyes. Puck understood straight away, right then he just; knew. A part of him broke on the inside.

"The baby..." Puck forced himself to ask but his sentence broke off when Quinn shook her head almost violently.

"There is no baby," Quinn whispered harshly, her tears finally starting to fall.

Puck sat down heavily on the chair beside Rachel's bed dropping his head into his hands. For the first time in a long time; Puck cried. His baby girl was dead, and he had to live, life just wasn't fair. Rachel sat up ignoring her enormous headache and started to rub his back comfortingly. Puck turned and wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist leaning over to cry into her lap.

Somewhere behind him he could hear Quinn's sobs, but above the sound of him and Quinn crying, he could hear Rachel singing him a sweet lullaby. He focused on her voice; he knew she would get him through this.

* * *

**AN: I need to stop with the angst I know. I'm thinking next chapter will be Puck Goes to Dinner. One of my reviewers wanted a dinner party with Rachel, Puck, Rachel's dad's, and Puck's mom and sister. So hopefully it will be a funny chapter...if I can come up with something funny to happen in my head. Plus there is the whole sneaking into prom with Kurt and Rachel :)**

**REVIEW!!! I LOVE THEM, THEY MADE ME SMILE WHEN I AM HAVING A SHITTER OF A DAY!**


	9. In Which Puck Goes To Dinner

Requested by: Megan Nichole

Requested by: Like-Vines-We-Intertwine for a holiday theme, so I figured we could make it a family dinner, holiday themed chapter

AN: Sorry it took so long. I'm not completely in love with the chapter which is why it took me so long to post. I kept trying to make it better, giving up and then coming back to it and this is the finished product. Oh well, Enjoy!

* * *

**In Which Puck Goes To Dinner**

Puck was sure if there was a hell on Earth; this right here was it. He was sitting at thanksgiving dinner with Rachel; his current girlfriend, Quinn; the girl he had inadvertently gotten pregnant, #1 and #2 daddy Berry; who were always super welcoming to him to a point where Puck considered that they actually had a crush on him, but he was a stud so it was completely understandable, his mother; whom Rachel still couldn't look in the eyes and his younger sister Hannah; who chattered endlessly about Zac Efron. Puck wasn't even sure who the hell Zac Efron was; but he already wanted to kick the guy's ass.

Of all the people in the room, Puck could not believe Quinn was here; though, she lived with the Berry's now, so he should have expected it. Quinn had become Rachel's new project, it was kind of freaking Puck out how they had gotten so close so fast; but they did spend a couple of days together in the hospital. In that time Quinn told Rachel that her parents had kicked her out after finding out she had been pregnant and; Rachel being Rachel, offered to let Quinn stay with her. This was Puck's worst nightmare. Quinn had agreed since she had nowhere else to go and she had also promised to lay off the name calling and pornographic drawing on bathroom walls stuff as well. School for the past couple of weeks had been awkward, not to mention full of slushie facials; for all of them but mostly Quinn and Puck. Luckily for Quinn and Puck, Rachel had thought ahead to bring spare outfits for both of them the first day it happened; Quinn and Puck now carried their own spare clothes every day to school. Finn was a sore point. He still came to Glee but he spent most of the time glowering at Quinn and Puck. He had apologised to Rachel, and she had forgiven him but so far no progress on the Quinn, Puck and Finn situation. Puck missed his best friend, but he would die before he told anyone that.

Rachel missed the camaraderie from when Glee had been united. Still it was thanksgiving and the holidays were coming up; Rachel was of the firm belief that after the holidays once everyone had some time to themselves that they would all make up and things would be as they once were. Of course Noah told her she was insane but he told her that on an almost daily basis so she tended to not really believe him. Right now she was enjoying spending time with her boyfriend and new best friend; not that Quinn had a choice in being her best friend but that was besides the point, Quinn was Rachel's one and only best friend. Rachel, however, was not fond of the glare Mrs Puckerman kept sending her way across the dinner table and kept her gaze fixed firmly on her potatoes.

"Isn't this nice?" Daddy #1 commented taking a dainty bite of his turkey smiling at everyone present.

Puck shoved a potato in his mouth and chewed furiously. Rachel nudged him, appalled by his lack of table manners and Quinn hid a smile at their 'married couple' behaviour. Over the past month or so Quinn had been able to observe the two and found them adorable. Puck was whipped when it came to Rachel, even though he tried to deny it.

"This is really good daddy," Rachel complimented Daddy #1 who chuckled, but looked pleased by her praise.

Under the table Rachel put her hand on Puck's thigh, wanting him to add his compliments to her father but Dianna saw the exchange and her eyes narrowed. All mothers believed that their sons were innocent, so when Dianna Puckerman saw her son in the closet with Rachel Berry a couple of months back; she automatically assumed it was all Rachel's idea. She thought Rachel was some wild girl, like the ones Puck always dated, which sort of explained her next sentence.

"So Rachel, have you and my son had sex yet?" Dianna asked casually and Quinn choked on a bread roll. Puck was trying to judge how far he would have to run to throw himself out of the window. Rachel blushed bright red and looked down at her plate.

"Don't worry Dianna, Joseph and I have already had 'the talk' with them," Daddy #2 interrupted seeing Rachel's discomfort at the change of conversation.

"Noah and I have not been intimate yet," Rachel spoke up though her voice was soft, her brown eyes looking at Puck willing him to jump into the conversation to defend her somehow, or at least tell his mother that she wasn't a wanton hussy; since everyone except Dianna Puckerman knew that Rachel Berry was a Gleek. Puck kept his eyes fixed firmly on his place. He was not setting off this bomb, it was best to pretend he had selected hearing.

"Good, abstinence is the best contraception," Dianna nodded approvingly and Daddy #2 placed a gentle hand on Puck's back. Puck silently cursed Rachel for making him sit next to her daddies. They liked touching each other way too much. Puck liked it when Rachel touched him, but she was about the only person he could stand.

"But if you must have sex please wear condoms," Daddy #2 encouraged patting his shoulder and Puck groaned softly. He raised his eyes to the sky and mouthed 'kill me now'. Quinn stifled a giggle.

"I hardly think this is appropriate dinner conversation," Rachel piped up feeling her face blush bright red hoping that everyone would follow the change of conversation but no one did.

"You are encouraging them to have sex," Dianna accused her daddies and Daddy #1 shook his head.

"Not encouraging, but we aren't naive enough to believe that they won't ignore what we say and do whatever they want," Daddy #1 explained his reasoning and Dianna shook her head.

"My Noah is a good boy, he's still a virgin," Dianna declared proudly and Rachel and Quinn both spat their drinks at each other across the table. Dianna eyed them both suspiciously and Rachel and Quin both coughed to hide their laughter.

"Mom, come on Hannah's at the table, do you have to bring up the V word?" Puck finally spoke up looking over at his sister who was obvious to the conversation, talking Quinn's ear off about some guy called Edward Cullen. He sounded like someone's grandpa so Puck decided to stick him on the list of people's asses he would be kicking.

"Honey you should be proud to be a virgin," Dianna said sweetly, and Puck figured now was as good a time as any to dash his mother's innocent view of him. As long as it got his mom to stop saying virgin he would tell her anything.

"Mom, I'm not a virgin, I haven't been for a long, long time."

There was a silence at the table as Dianna took in his admission, her mouth dropping open in shock. Daddy #2 looked over at Rachel.

"Rachel?" he whispered, almost afraid to know the answer and Rachel blushed.

"Yes daddy I'm still a virgin," Rachel said softly and both of her daddies looked relieved.

"Good girl," Daddy #1 congratulated her and Rachel was sure she lost her appetite.

Dianna Puckerman accepted the fact her son was a whore and smiled warmly at everyone except him. Puck knew he would be busted when he got home.

"Well, isn't this a lovely dinner," Dianna complimented the Berry's and Rachel's daddies murmured their agreement as the conversation moved to lighter topics.

Puck glared at his plate. Seriously the world better end right now, because if it didn't he would lose it and start pulling out whatever hair still remained on his head. Luckily Rachel took pity on him.

"Let's go sit outside Noah," Rachel nudged him with her leg and Puck jumped up and grabbed her hand dragging her to the front porch without even excusing themselves from the table. Rachel lectured him all the way outside about table etiquette and the proper way to excuse themselves from a dinner table, so Puck used his favourite way to shut her up. He kissed her senseless.

* * *

Later that night Rachel snuggled into Noah's arms as they sat on Rachel's front porch swing sipping lemonade. Inside Hannah was forcing Quinn to sit through Hannah Montana while their parents were drinking tea and coffee, celebrating the fact that their two children hadn't had sex with each other yet.

"So Noah, when are we going to have sex?" Rachel asked casually turning her face to look up at him.

Puck promptly spat his lemonade all over the front porch. Some of it landed on Rachel's hair and face and she grimaced and wiped her face. Puck didn't know what to say.

"We have been dating for a while and I know that you find me pleasing to the eye and you are forever making sexual innuendos but you haven't actually made any moves around me that would indicate that you are thinking about taking our relationship to the next level," Rachel said this almost mechanically and Puck still didn't trust himself to speak. Here was his girlfriend basically asking him when he wanted to destroy her V plate and defile her in all the ways he had dreamed about. He felt his ego inflate until Rachel added, "Quinn says that you are a very talented lover,"

"You two talk about me?" Puck asked in disbelief.

Puck was sure there had to be some sort of rule where you couldn't talk about sex with the girl your new boyfriend had once gotten pregnant; not that Rachel Berry followed any rules. Neither did he come to think of it; maybe that's why they were so perfect for each other.

"Of course, I was curious about sex, particularly with you, and so I asked Quinn for her honest opinion of your performance, and she confirmed that you lived up to your reputation," Rachel explained quite calmly and Puck pulled her back against him so that she was leaning against his chest. He tried not to feel intimidated by the fact that they gossiped about him, but just the thought of them nitpicking his performance made him super nervous.

"Babe if you are ready, then I'm ready to rock your world," Puck assured her quite seriously, then he shrugged, "But if you aren't ready, I'm cool with that as well."

Rachel was silent for a long time.

"I think I am ready," she told him but her voice wasn't firm enough for Puck. He didn't want her to regret anything that happened between them.

"Tell me when you know," Puck told her, emphasising the 'know' with a kiss atop her head, and then he grinned into her hair adding lewdly, "Until then, I'm happy to pleasure you in all other ways."

Rachel gave a laugh and hugged him grateful for his understanding.

"I will inform you as soon as I am ready," she promised him and Puck had to chuckle.

With Rachel he knew that when she did finally tell him she was ready she would give him instructions on how he was to approach her and when and where the sex would happen. He half expected to receive a spreadsheet to his email indicting all the times she would be open to his advances. Those crazy things were what he loved most about her.

"Also baby, please don't talk about me with Quinn, it makes me nervous," Puck pleaded sheepishly. He was uncomfortable enough by the fact that Rachel was sharing a room with Quinn; he really didn't need to know they were gossiping about him.

"Don't be nervous, I have nothing to compare you to, except kissing," Rachel assured him and Puck's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He knew Rachel had never had a boyfriend so Puck didn't know who else she could have kissed unless...no, no there is no way she kissed Finn...right?

"Who else have you kissed?"

"Finn of course."

"Finn? You kissed Finn?" Puck asked jealously and Rachel patted him on the thigh comfortingly, turning her head to wink at him.

"Don't worry Noah, you are much better."

Puck was slightly appeased, but made it his mission to kiss her on the porch until she forgot Finn's name. There was no harm in making sure she knew how much better he was right?

* * *

AN: Hehe I love parent talks. Well I'm all out of ideas for this so unless I get more, this is just gonna hang like this for a while.

REVIEW!!


	10. In Which Rachel Discovers Christmas

**Requested By: notso little j**

**AN: notso little j's review made me laugh so hard and made me want to write this, so you can all send her PM's to thank her for getting you guys another chapter so soon! I didn't spend a whole lot of time on it but I wanted you guys to have it in time for Christmas! Enjoy!**

* * *

**In Which Rachel Discovers Christmas**

"I cannot believe you have never had a Christmas tree," Quinn said for the hundredth time that day and Rachel looked up from where she sat on the couch reading.

Quinn was balancing precariously on a chair beside a giant Christmas tree that she was trying to decorate. Santana and Brittany were busying around the base of the tree hanging ornaments.

"We're Jewish Quinn, we don't celebrate Christmas," Rachel reminded her blandly turning back to her book. Quinn had taken it upon herself to help the Berry family finally experience Christmas. Rachel's dads hadn't minded, they believed in expanding horizons. Rachel however wasn't as excited as Quinn had hoped she'd be.

"Well you're lucky that I am living here now, because you get to experience Christmas, Fabray style," Quinn declared awkwardly leaning up to place the gold star atop the tree, before pulling back to admire her handiwork proudly.

"My heart is aflutter in anticipation," Rachel said sarcastically not lifting her eyes from her book but Quinn didn't even notice, too excited about decorating the entire Berry house for their first ever Christmas.

Rachel did like one thing about Christmas; Quinn had bought a box of candy canes and Rachel was sucking on her eighth, they were delicious. Quinn tapped her chin thoughtfully as she tried to think of what else should go on the tree.

"Hand me a candy cane will you Brittany?" Quinn said to the blonde cheerio holding out her hand and Brittany picked up a candy cane.

"Have you noticed that candy canes look like little penises," Brittany randomly commented inspecting the candy cane closely and Santana picked one up as well taking a closer look. Rachel frowned and pulled the candy cane out of her mouth looking at it closely. It looked like no such thing.

"You know they kind of do," Santana mused, grinning, making a crude face and gesture which caused Brittany to laugh.

"Well hand me a little penis then Brittany," Quinn giggled at Brittany who handed her a couple of candy canes. Rachel rolled her eyes at their childishness and took a suck on her candy cane.

"Rachel's got a little penis in her mouth!" Santana shrieked pointing at her just as Puck walked in the door and Santana and the others burst into laughter, while Rachel glared at them unimpressed by the joke.

Puck ran into the living room, his face a mix of horror and fury until he realised that there was no guy in the living room with his little penis in Rachel's mouth. Puck unclenched his fists and looked around the room taking in the overflow of Christmas decoration.

"Whoa, it looks like Santa spewed up in here," Puck commented mockingly and Quinn threw him a glare, not liking that he was making fun of her decorating skills.

"Can it Puckerman," she snapped throwing tinsel at him and Puck moved over to the couch to kiss Rachel on the cheek flopping on the couch beside her.

He just came by to visit Rachel on his way to Artie's for a jam session. Apparently Finn was going as well, it was Artie's attempt to help them be friends again. Puck wasn't sure how it would go but he was willing to try.

"You realise that Rachel is Jewish right?" Puck reminded Quinn and Rachel closed her book with a snap.

"I have already brought this up with her many times," Rachel informed him, glancing over at Quinn who smiled innocently and continued decorating as she started to hum a Christmas song. Rachel decided to let Quinn have her fun; this was the first time in ages that Quinn had seemed genuinely happy. Usually she walked around looking like someone just ran over her puppy.

"What is this talk about little penises?" Puck asked hesitantly, really curious to know what it was they were talking about before he came in.

"Just talking about yours," Santana quipped smartly and Quinn got the giggles at the look on Puck's face as he realised that indeed two of the girls in this room had actually seen him naked.

Clearly Puck hadn't considered the fact that he had had sex with two of the girls in the room, dated two of the girls in the room, and made out with all four of them at one point or another. Yes even Brittany had succumbed to his charms at a party in freshman year. These were the downfalls of being a stud.

"Stop that all of you, I'm sure Noah's penis is more than adequate," Rachel stood up trying to help but she only succeeded in making everything worse as all three Cheerio's turned to her with mouths open in shock.

"You haven't seen it yet?" Santana gasped looking at Puck in shock. Puck folded his arms across his chest. Santana would be surprised that Puck had waited this long with Rachel; it had taken him all of an hour to get into Santana's pants.

"Even I've seen it," Brittany spoke up blushing when everyone turned to look at her and Puck frowned trying to remember when he had sex with Brittany. If he did he didn't remember it. Brittany hurried to explain, "Puck did a nudie run at a party last year."

Puck so did not want to hear anymore. It was bad enough Rachel and Quinn talked about him in the sack, he didn't need four girls talking about his package.

"Let's all just stop talking about my junk, please," Puck begged and the girls gave in returning to their decorating. Puck breathed a sigh of relief until he saw Rachel's storm out. Great, he was going to be late to Artie's now that he had to find out what had crawled up his girlfriend's cute little ass. The one thing that was good about dating Rachel was that you knew when she was angry; she didn't hide it like other girls, she let you have it big time.

"What's wrong with you?" Puck demanded as he followed her into the kitchen and Rachel spun and poked her finger into his chest. Which kind of hurt. Did she have a lead finger or something? Damn.

"Everyone has seen your penis!" Rachel was using her high pitched whisper which meant she was furious. Puck held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry okay? That was way before I was with you. No one has seen it since we started dating, except me," Puck told her honestly. That's right; Puck was celibate with only Rosie Palm and her four sisters to help him through the wilderness. Rachel's anger abated slightly.

"Well I want to see it too," Rachel pouted folding her arms under her chest and Puck felt himself twitch in his jeans. Rachel had no idea how the innocent stuff that she said turned him on more than any dirty talk could.

"What? Now?" Puck asked glancing around the kitchen, hearing the other three girls calling to each other in the living room.

"Yes Noah now, in the middle of my kitchen when my three friends are out there in the living room and might walk in on us at any second," Rachel deadpanned.

Noah looked unsure but he hesitantly reached for the zipper of his jeans and Rachel slapped his hands away rolling her eyes. Noah breathed a sigh of relief. For a second he thought Rachel was into some kinky shit and for a brief moment Puck's mind drifted off into reverie of a five-some.

"I was being sarcastic Noah," Rachel's voice snapped him out of his daydream and he focused his eyes on her. Screw doing four girls at one time, Rachel was enough of a handful as it was. Rachel's mood suddenly changed drastically as she looked at the ground shyly, her small hands resting on his chest, "I have been thinking about it, and I'm ready, I know I'm ready."

Noah restrained himself from doing a happy 'I get sex' dance. This was quite possibly, the greatest day of his life. But his stupid conscience just wouldn't let him accept it until he asked.

"You sure babe?"

Rachel grinned a little wickedly.

"Yes I'm sure, and it's all planned, my dad's are away tonight, Quinn will be sleeping over at Santana's, we have the house to ourselves," Rachel informed him and Puck grabbed her to him roughly and kissed her.

He loved this woman.

* * *

Puck left not long after and the four girls took a break to drink some milk and choc chip cookies. Half way through her mug of milk Rachel spoke up. She had never had girlfriends before and it seemed like Quinn, Santana and Brittany were the best she was going to get. While it bothered her that Puck had slept with both Quinn and Santana, Rachel also thought she could use it to her advantage to find out what to expect for her first time.

"Tonight will be my first night with Puck and I just...I need advice," Rachel admitted nervously and the three girls squealed completely forgetting about the cookies and milk. Even though Quinn and Santana had both slept with Puck they had no problem with him dating Rachel. They were good for each other. He balanced out her craziness and Rachel balanced out his Puckness. Fair trade.

"Honey you won't have to do a thing, Puck will take care of everything," Santana assured her knowingly and then Santana grinned in anticipation, "The main question is what will you wear?"

Without waiting for her answer Quinn and Santana darted up the stars and into Rachel's room. Rachel and Brittany raced after them to find the two girls digging through Rachel's underwear drawer, throwing panties all around the room.

"What are you doing?" Rachel demanded trying to gather up her wayward panties and Santana frowned at her stopping her search.

"Where is your sexy underwear?"

"This is all I wear," Rachel held up some plain cotton underwear as an example and Santana visibly shuddered at the sight. They would have to take Rachel lingerie shopping as soon as possible.

"Rachel, you don't have one item of lingerie in here," Quinn declared closing the drawer and shaking her head in disappointment. Rachel was a little offended.

"Well I've never entertained a boy before," she retorted, embarrassed now that she had told them but Santana and Quinn wanted to help. Besides they had nothing else exciting going on right now.

"I have something you can borrow, it's a sexy green elf outfit I bought last week to wear for Matt but then I decided to buy the red Santa dress instead, it's in my car," Santana ran down the stairs followed by Quinn and Rachel sat down on her bed, regretting ever telling them about her plans with Puck.

"You don't have to do all the stuff they said if you don't want to," Brittany said quietly, her eyes on the door in case Santana or Quinn came back and heard her giving Rachel different advice to what they did, "Puck likes you because you are different. If he wanted a sex kitten he could just date Santana again. I think you should just be yourself and do and wear whatever makes you feel comfortable."

"Thanks Brittany," Rachel said smiling warmly and Brittany smiled back, happy to have helped.

When Santana brought up the skimpy green dress with see through bra Rachel's face went so red she thought she would explode. She thanked Santana for the loan but decided to follow Brittany's advice and just be herself. Santana left it just in case Rachel changed her mind.

* * *

Rachel's first time wasn't exactly what she thought it would be. Movies make it look so romantic and blissful, but it reality, it hurt; a lot. But Noah was more than happy to go at a slow pace, focusing all his attention on making her feel beautiful and relaxing her as much as he could before he slid between her legs. Rachel had cried out in surprise and Noah had stilled his movements. After a few moments he started moving again, and Rachel bit her lower lip, working through the pain and trying to focus on Noah's hand on her breast and the one stroking her face gently. The pain subsided when it was taken over by a different feeling, one of pleasure and lust. She started moaning with enjoyment and when she came, Noah wasn't far behind; they were both whispering each other's names like a chant.

He stayed inside of her after it was over, leaning up on his elbows so that they were face to face, noses brushing.

"Merry Christmas Rach," Noah told her kissing her nose then her lips lingeringly.

"Merry Christmas Noah," Rachel breathed blissfully content as she closed her eyes.

"I love you," Rachel wasn't sure she heard him right when her eyes snapped open to look at him. He was staring down at her intently, his hazel eyes searching her brown ones for a sign of reciprocation.

"I love you too," Rachel murmured bringing his face down to hers and Rachel decided that Christmas was her favourite time of year.

* * *

AN: Yay their first time and just in time for Christmas. Merry Christmas Puckleberry bitches!! Have you seen the articles? they are going to revisit Rachel and Puck apparently :) alright Glee writers, maybe we can be friends.

REVIEW!


	11. In Which Puck Is Thankful For Detention

**AN: Okay I totally forgot I wrote this chapter and it should have been just after Christmas before the trip to New York, so I've had to delete the other chapters, stick this one in and then repost the others. *SIGH* Hope you enjoy this chapter that just snuck in. I knew I made Finn and Puck friends again in the New York chapter, but then I couldn't remember when they became friends again and then I realised I'd missed posting this! FAIL! LOL**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

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**In Which Puck Is Thankful For Detention**

Rachel stared blankly at the empty box Quinn handed her for Christmas.

"Wow, a box, thanks Quinn," Rachel said smiling brightly and Quinn rolled her eyes. At first Rachel's sarcasm had been a little unexpected, especially considering how tame Rachel appeared at school. Quinn deduced that Rachel held in all the sarcasm until she got home and then unleashed the best of it on Quinn.

"There is a card in there Rachel," Quinn pointed out and Rachel reached in and pulled out the card opening it up.

"You are entitled to one makeover. Please advise Quinn and Santana when you would like to redeem your makeover," Rachel read from the card and then she looked up at Quinn indignantly, "How about never? I dress impeccably."

"You dress like my grandma," Quinn said bluntly knowing that Rachel never really took anything Quinn said to heart. Rachel had a thick skin when it came to someone making fun of her; it came from dealing with it for years.

"I dunno, I find the knee socks kind of sexy," Puck mused interrupting their conversation as he carried in a tray of hot chocolates for them and Quinn gave him a look of disdain.

"That's because you are a kinky pervert," Quinn told him, disgusted by the thought, though she did take the hot chocolate he offered her.

"Guilty," Puck grinned charmingly and Quinn mimed throwing up.

Quinn didn't know how Rachel had done it, but she had tamed Noah Puckerman. The boy made them hot chocolates for crying out loud and carried them on a tray.

"There is nothing wrong with what I wear," Rachel protested with annoyance giving a haughty flick of her head and Quinn knew she would have to pull out the big guns to get Rachel to agree to the makeover.

"Come on Rachel, let me do this with you, please, I've been so sad lately and I just know that this will make me feel a little better," Quinn knew she was laying on the pity party thick but she really wanted to give Rachel a makeover. Rachel had done so much for her, and this was the only way Quinn knew how to repay her. Rachel sighed with resignation when Quinn's eyes started to tear up and her lower lip started to quiver.

"Fine," Rachel agreed sighing with resignation then she nodded at Puck and he produced a rather large gift and handed it to Quinn as Rachel announced needlessly, "Here's your present."

Quinn eagerly ripped open the packaging gasping with surprise at what was inside.

"You guys got me a guitar?" Quinn asked rhetorically feeling tears prick at her eyelids. Quinn hadn't been expecting something this thoughtful.

"You said you wanted to learn to play an instrument so we all pitched in money for the guitar, now you just need to take some lessons," Puck explained grabbing the guitar from her and plucking some strings expertly, stopping to make sure the guitar was in tune and Quinn leaned over to hug Rachel and then Puck thankfully.

"Thank you Rachel, Puck."

Quinn had been expecting this Christmas to be a little sad, since it was the first one she would be having without the Fabray Christmas Dinner but the truth was, she felt more at home here with Rachel, her dads and Puck than she ever had at home with her parents.

"So what did you girls get me? Please say a threesome," Puck suggested jokingly and Rachel and Quinn glanced at each other before they both started pummelling him for being a sleaze.

* * *

First week back at school and Puck swaggered into detention. It felt just like coming home; seriously. He hadn't had detention is months; not since he started dating Rachel. Puck was surprised to see Finn at detention; Finn hardly ever had detention being that he was a goody two shoes. He and Finn still weren't talking, which kind of sucked, Puck missed his best friend. Not in a Kurt Hummel way; but in a 'I miss telling you things I can't tell anyone else' kind of way. Puck saw there was a spare seat next to Finn or two seats at the table in front of him. Puck hesitated before sliding into the empty table in front of Finn and then Puck swivelled in his chair.

"What are you in for?" Puck asked Finn causally testing the waters to see how angry Finn was with him still. Finn gave him a blank look as though he was deciding whether to punch him or answer his question and thankfully Finn decided on the latter.

"Mr Cooper said I was copying Brittany's test because we had the same rainbow answer," Finn shrugged and Puck coughed to disguise his snort of laughter. Finn didn't notice as he paused then asked, "You?"

"Coach Sylvester caught me and Berry making out under the bleachers, apparently we made her want to eat just so that she could vomit," Puck smirked as he remembered getting caught by the Cheerio coach.

He had never seen Rachel so flustered in all his life; it had been amusing to say the least. He had laughed so hard at her and it was totally worth her death glaring him all through lunch and her threats that there would be no sex for a month. Puck knew there would be sex, there was no way that Rachel could say no to him, since they had 'given in to their baser instincts' as she liked to put it Rachel's sexual appetite was insatiable and Puck was cashing in.

Finn's expression became pained and Puck wished he had said it a better way. Rachel was still something of a sore point with Finn. Mostly because Finn had Quinn and wanted Rachel and then Puck just swooped in and took them both. Well Puck actually wanted to give Quinn back. Having her living at the Berry house was becoming too comfortable, one night she actually knocked on Rachel's door and demanded that they take their fornicating elsewhere as she was trying to sleep. Yes, Quinn used the word fornicating, apparently the more time you spent with Rachel Berry; the more you started to talk like her. Rachel came storming into the classroom and made a beeline for the seat beside Puck. Puck leaned back in his chair knowing what was coming.

"This is all your fault, from here on; you keep your hands to yourself at school! I cannot believe I let you talk me into going behind the bleachers with you like some sort of wanton hussy," Rachel hissed at Puck furiously completely obvious to Finn sitting behind them as she slammed her books onto the table so loudly that Puck actually winced feeling bad for the table. Rachel sat down huffing, "I cannot believe I have detention. This ruins my perfect record I hope you know. Now how am I going to explain this to my dad's?"

"Berry they love me, just tell them that I am so irresistible that you just had to get your freak on with me at school," Puck grinned figuring that she was already pissed off he may as well rile her up some more and get some amusement out of her. Just to tick her off that little bit more he placed a casual arm on the back of her chair.

"You are..." Rachel was having trouble finding a word to describe him so Puck tried to be helpful by filling in the blank for her.

"A stud."

Rachel gave him a withering glare.

"I demand that you sit elsewhere and think about what you have done to my reputation," Rachel snapped at him haughtily and Puck raised an eyebrow.

"I was here first Berry," he reminded her and Rachel gave him another glare and Puck sighed deeply and moved to sit beside Finn, since that was the only spare seat left in detention.

"Dude, you're so whipped," Finn couldn't help but whisper, amused at the sight and Puck shrugged.

"I'd do anything for her," he said simply because he was talking to Finn and Puck knew he could tell Finn these things, even if Finn wasn't his best friend anymore.

"You're different," Finn commented. It wasn't a question, just a statement.

"Yeah," Puck agreed hoping that Finn could hear the 'if you be my friend again and you get a new girlfriend I totally won't plough her' in his voice. Puck decided now would be as good a time as any for his belated apology for the whole Quinn situation, "Dude; I'm sor..."

"Don't say it," Finn interrupted him, his voice surprisingly harsh. Puck shut his mouth, it was the least he could do for Finn. After a few moments Finn spoke up, his voice warmer, "I got the new Call of Duty for Christmas, wanna come over and play it tonight?"

"Yeah man, that would be cool," Puck agreed grinning and Finn gave a nod and a smile.

Detention passed by quickly after that, but Puck couldn't wipe the stupid smirk from his face. He never thought he would be so glad to have Finn finally speak to him.

He and Finn parted ways at the door to detention and Puck made his way over to Rachel who was waiting by her locker. As soon as Finn was in earshot she grabbed Puck's bicep and tugged him down to her level which was pretty damn low considering she was a midget.

"Did it work? Did you and Finn work things out?" Rachel whispered eagerly, and it dawned on Puck what she had done this afternoon.

"You made me sit somewhere else because you knew the only spare seat was beside Finn," Puck deduced, surprised at himself for not having seen through her plan as he complimented her, "You are a devious mastermind."

"I know," Rachel smiled innocently, but her eyes were flashing wickedly.

"What have I done to you? I've made you more badass than me," Puck chuckled nuzzling her neck as he trailed kisses up to her lips. She pushed him away.

"So did it work?" she persisted her line of questioning and Puck groaned in frustration. Once Rachel Berry had her mind set on something, she wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted. Which in this case was an answer to her question.

"I'm going over his to play Call of Duty tonight," Puck informed her and Rachel beamed happily.

"That's good Noah, it's a start to rebuilding your friendship," Rachel clapped her hands together excitedly, "Now I just need to fix Finn and Quinn and things will be perfect."

"I've created a monster," Puck breathed in mock horror and Rachel nudged him laughing. Puck wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her into his side as they exited the school together. Puck was thinking this was a pretty good day, in spite of getting detention.

* * *

**AN: I know it was short but this was the reunion of Finn and Puck that I totally skipped. LOL. I'm such a noob.**

**So timeline wise, they have Christmas, then the holidays, and then they start back at school. So this happens the first week, and then the second week of school they fly to New York for Rachel's Birthday thing. Then about a month after that comes the jealousy chapter.**

**I've also changed some things in the next two chapters to make everything make actual sense so you might just want to give everything a quick skim.**

**REVIEW!**


	12. In Which Puck Gets Cockblocked

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

**AN: Typed this up pretty quickly, was keen to get it posted. Sorry for any mistakes, not beta'd.**

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**In Which Puck Gets Cockblocked**

Puck sat in the uncomfortable airplane seat gripping tightly onto the armrest like he was drowning and it was his life raft. Behind him Matt was play fighting with Mike over who got the window seat and Matt shoved the back of his chair causing Puck's grip to tighten slightly. Other passengers were slowly filling up the spare seats on the plane. Rachel was directing Brittany and Santana while Quinn was trying to shove her carryon luggage in the overhead compartments. Finn noticed her struggling and helped her wordlessly. Finn still wasn't talking to her but Puck knew it wouldn't be long; after all Finn had already forgiven him and it had only been two weeks since school had started again. Rachel made her way over to Puck.

"Noah, you look pale are you okay?" Rachel asked him worriedly leaning over to feel his forehead whilst giving him an excellent view down her top momentarily distracting him.

"I'm fine," he grunted when Matt bumped into his chair again.

"Would you idiots just sit down?" Puck growled not moving from his seat and Matt and Mike chuckled behind him ignoring his command.

"Noah are you scar..." Rachel began to ask loudly and Puck reached out and yanked her down into the seat beside him, thankfully cutting off her embarrassing question. Puck was a badass.

"Are you trying to destroy my reputation?" he whispered furiously and when Rachel fixed him with an unimpressed glare he sighed, "I've never been on a plane before; I'm nervous okay?"

Rachel's glare softened as she wiggled into her seat properly clicking in her belt. She unhinged his hand from the armrest and placed it in her lap entangling their fingers.

"It's all fine," Rachel told him softly, her voice soothing, "Focus on my hand and my voice."

Hearing her talk was calming him down. Puck couldn't believe he was going on his first flight. They were flying to New York for Rachel's birthday. Apparently her dad's were so stoked that she actually had friends and a boyfriend this year they went all out with her gift. They bought Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Brittany and Puck flights to New York and tickets to see 'Wicked' which was some musical Rachel was obsessed with. Once Matt and Mike heard Puck was going on a weekend away with the ladies they decided to tag along, so they bought their airfares to New York and even convinced Finn to join them. Rachel's dad's bought them tickets to 'Wicked' and paid for their two nights' accommodation. So all up it was the eight teens and Rachel's dads as supervisors. Rachel perked up in her chair and Puck looked over at her curiously.

"Brittany, can you sit with me? I wanted to talk to you about maybe getting my hair cut in New York," Rachel spoke up then she looked at Quinn apologetically, "You don't mind do you Quinn?"

Quinn shrugged, not really minding. The seats were three, then the aisle, then two. Santana and Brittany had the two seats on their own behind Rachel's dads while Puck, Rachel and Quinn and Matt, Mike and Finn had two rows of three seats. Santana caught Rachel's eyes and gave a secretive wink.

"Finn do you mind swapping seats with me?" Santana asked him smiling innocently, "I want to sit with Matt."

Finn was too nice to say no, so he ended up sitting next to Quinn. Puck rolled his eyes at the girl's obvious manoeuvre to reconcile Finn and Quinn.

"Could you be any more obvious?" Puck asked Rachel giving a teasing grin and Rachel feigned innocence. Finn sat down in his window seat and glared out of the window. Quinn sat beside him looking depressed.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Rachel replied haughtily and at Puck's raised eyebrow she huffed, "Fine, but I am just subtly allowing them time along to talk not necessarily get back together."

"Babe, I love you, but you are being as subtle as a mallet to the head, I'm surprised you haven't had them kidnapped and locked in a closet together," Puck joked dryly and Rachel opened her mouth to protest but then closed it looking thoughtful.

"Would that work?" Rachel mused and Puck took in her serious expression and cursed himself for giving her more crazy ideas. She already had enough crazy to last her a life time.

"Berry, do not lock them in a closet," Puck commanded speaking very slow so that there was no way she would misunderstand him and Rachel pouted.

"Why not? It worked for us," she countered smartly and Puck fell silent.

Damn, she had a point there.

"Babe, let them work it out on their own," Puck pleaded knowing that with Finn it was best to let him decide how to handle things on his own. Rachel glanced over at the pair who weren't talking and relented.

"Fine," she snapped and the plane jerked suddenly. Puck's grip tightened on her hand painfully and Rachel started to stroke his hand with her other one, "Noah the plane is just about to take off that's all."

Puck focused on her voice all through the flight. He knew there had to be an upside to dating a girl who couldn't shut up.

* * *

"It's so nice to finally lie down!" Quinn exclaimed falling face first onto the plush bed.

Rachel's dad's had spared no expense with the rooms or the hotel. They were staying at the Millennium Broadway Hotel in One Bedroom Suites. They were sharing the rooms in pairs, Quinn and Rachel, Santana and Brittany, Mike and Matt and Finn and Puck. They had dinner in the main restaurant downstairs and decided to turn in early. Rachel practically demanded that she get at least a full eight hour sleep before sightseeing and watching 'Wicked' all in the one day.

"Flying always makes me tired," Rachel agreed sitting on her bed then she frowned, "Did you and Finn talk?"

"I tried, he just grunted at me like usual," Quinn said, down heartened by the whole situation, "Finn has every right to hate me but I still love him. Even if he doesn't want to get back together, I would rather have him in my life as a friend than not have him in my life at all."

"Maybe Noah was right, we can't force him," Rachel said sadly and Quinn nodded coming to terms with that particular fact. There was a knock on their door and Quinn opened it to find Puck standing there with a grin and his duffle bag.

"Fabray, you're out," Puck announced as he bushed by her dropping his bag onto the floor before tackling Rachel onto the bed, nuzzling kisses into her neck as she giggled.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Quinn demanded pouting as she folded her arms across her chest and Puck groaned lifting himself off Rachel reluctantly.

"My room with Finn," Puck replied reaching into his pocket for a key card which he threw haphazardly in her general direction, "Room 331, enjoy!"

Quinn grabbed her bags still huffing and exited the room. Now that they were alone Puck turned to Rachel with one mission in mind. Seduce and conquer. Rachel however was staring up at him with adoration in her wide eyes. Oh crap.

"Oh Noah," Rachel breathed dreamily, looking up at him like he was cupid.

Puck groaned. Great. Now Rachel thought that he was meddling to help her with her matchmaking scheme regarding Quinn and Finn when all he really did was get rid of Quinn so that he could defile Rachel.

"Don't get all 'Noah you're the greatest' on me, I'm rooming with Finn and I wanted some alone time with you so I had no choice, the others all swapped rooms already so the only room free was with Finn," Puck told her, trying to stop her hero worship but Rachel just smiled.

"I know you are just too masculine to admit that you want Finn and Quinn back together as much as we all do and that this is just an elaborate plot to reconcile them," Rachel declared adoringly and Puck considered trying to argue with her but he knew that would be as effective as banging his head against a brick wall.

"You got me babe," he gave in and Rachel pounced on him giggling. To be fair, Puck would have admitted to murder if that meant Rachel would have sex with him.

* * *

"Sleep well?"

Puck nearly jumped out of his chair when Daddy #2, James, clapped a hand on Puck's shoulder as Puck sat enjoying breakfast. No one else was up this early, but a night full of sex always made Puck hungry in the morning so he had come to breakfast by himself. Puck turned to him innocently.

"I had a great night," Puck assured him adding in his head cockily, _banging your sexy ass daughter._

"Well you are all free today, we will head to the show about 5pm, so until then keep yourselves out of trouble," James advised Puck smiling happily and Puck nodded.

"Yes sir," he even gave a salute before he ran up to tell Rachel the good news.

Unfortunately for Puck, when Rachel was given a free day her thoughts didn't automatically turn to an all day sex marathon like his did, instead she actually wanted to sightsee. They ended up eating ice cream in Central Park which, let's face it, was kind of cliché but Rachel had loved it and this was her birthday weekend so Puck would do whatever she wanted.

"When we move to New York after I graduate I want us to get a little flat in Greenwich Village," Rachel gushed as she clung to his arm and Puck's steps faltered until he came to a complete halt.

"When we?" he repeated blankly and Rachel flushed bright red with embarrassment at having said that out loud.

"I'm sorry, that was terribly presumptuous of me considering we have only been dating for not even six months, but the way I feel about you makes me hope for a future with you and I know I am getting ahead of myself..." Rachel started rambling as she did when she was at a loss for how to explain herself properly and Puck cut her off, taking her face between his large hands and kissing her lips gently. When he finally released her he was smiling, much to her relief.

"When we sounds perfect," he assured her and Rachel's eyes widened with happiness. That was as good as saying they would be together forever; now Rachel knew for sure that Noah saw a future with her the way she did with him. Puck placed an arm around her shoulders as they started walking again and Rachel couldn't think of a better way to spend a day in New York.

* * *

They had just finished watching 'Wicked' later that nights and Rachel skipped up to Santana and Brittany and linked arms with them, causing them to join her skipping down the sidewalk. Rachel was deliriously happy, singing 'Defying Gravity' at the top of her lungs, not caring who heard her. Matt and Mike linked arms either side of Quinn and tugged her along behind the three girls. Finn was walking slower than the others and Puck held back to walk with him. Finn had his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders were hunched over.

"All right, what's eating you?" Puck asked preparing himself for a big chick flick moment and Finn shrugged.

"I should hate Quinn right?" Finn asked not answering Puck's original question and it was Puck's turn to shrug. This was so not where Puck thought this conversation would be heading.

"You have good reason to," Puck confirmed and Finn looked up at the sky.

"I don't hate her, I wish I did but I don't, it's the same with you, I know I have rights to hate you but we've been friends since we were six and I can't hate you," Finn attempted to explain his jumbled thoughts very inarticulately. Puck frowned thoughtfully.

"Do you love her?" Puck asked referring to Quinn and Finn hesitate d then shook his head.

"Too much has happened; I can't be with her in that way. I just want everything to be normal, I want us to be friends," Finn replied running a hand through his hair and Puck nodded.

"That sounds like a reasonable request."

Finn looked down at the ground and a shy smile lit up his face.

"I like this girl but she already has a boyfriend," Finn admitted his eyes lifting to fix on the three girls giggling and skipping together. Puck's chest tightened and his fists clenched. Was Finn seriously an idiot? Ogling Rachel in front of him?

"Dude Berry is mine," Puck growled threateningly through gritted teeth as he struggled to keep his temper and Finn looked startled for a moment then burst into laughter.

"Rachel and I are strictly just friends," Finn assured him patting his back and when Puck relaxed Finn sighed and confessed shyly, "I like Santana."

Puck promptly had a coughing fit. Naive, intelligence challenged Finn had a crush on bitchy superficial Santana? What the hell was the world coming to? But Puck supposed they were as likely as him and Rachel. Finn's eyes followed Santana appreciatively and Puck thought back to all the time Finn had been in the same room with her, mainly Glee. Because of the Quinn situation, and the fact that Rachel was always paired with Puck, Finn had been paired with Santana for a lot of the songs. Puck figured they must have started talking and getting to know each other better. Puck thought he better put Finn out of his misery. Puck was well up to date on all the girl gossip.

"Santana and Matt aren't dating, they are just special buddies," Puck told Finn wiggling his eyebrows hoping Finn would understand the innuendo. It took him a while but when it did click Finn's eyes widened hopefully.

"Really?"

Finn was so hopeful that it made Puck laugh.

"Yeah bro, she's fair game."

"I guess I will have to talk to Quinn, clear the air," Finn said sensibly and Puck clasped a hand on his shoulder.

"Good idea."

* * *

Puck was easing off Rachel's pyjama shorts when there was a frantic knocking on the door. Rachel sat up nearly kneeing him in the head.

"It must be my dad's!" Rachel screeched kicking Puck off her and he landed with a thump on the floor beside the bed. Damn Rachel had some strong legs on her. Rachel gestured for him to stay down and she opened the door smiling innocently. A tearful Quinn flung her arms around Rachel's neck as she erupted into sobs; behind her stood a sheepish Finn.

"What did you do?" Rachel demanded, looking mighty scary for a midget as Puck liked to call her.

"It's not Finn's fault, he was just being honest," Quinn sobbed from Rachel's shoulder in Fin's defence and Rachel frowned a little out of her depth.

"I don't understand."

"I want us all to be friends but I like someone else. I like Santana," Finn confessed and Puck sat up and glared at Finn. He had to tell her now?

"Oh," Rachel looked down at Quinn then over at Puck apologetically and he knew what was coming, "Noah, Quinn needs to stay with me tonight."

"Sure babe," Puck gestured violently for Finn to get out of the room. Puck moved over to kiss Rachel's head then he pecked Quinn on the cheek, "Cheer up Quinn, you're a hot piece of ass, you will get another boyfriend in no time."

"I'm sorry Quinn," Finn called from the hallway and Quinn wiped her eyes.

"It's okay Finn, you were being honest. I'm thankful for that," Quinn assured him. She was thankful that he had told her the truth and been honest, even though it hurt her. Now Quinn could work on getting over him and accepting that he and Santana would possibly start dating. Quinn had learned humility and grace through all that had happened this year, and more than anything she knew Finn deserved some happiness after what she put him through.

Puck shut the door behind him and turned to Finn folding his arms across his chest.

"Bro, did you have to tell her now? You cockblocked me so bad," Puck complained completely annoyed and Finn shrugged not really understanding how pissed off Puck was about this development.

"Sorry."

"You will be," Puck's eyes took on a dangerous glint as he asked innocently, "Hey Finn what's the capital of Thailand?"

Finn thought hard for a moment.

"Bangkok?" Finn guessed just as Puck swung out his fist and knocked Finn in the baby maker.

Puck was sure men all over the world heard Finn's groan of pain, but it served him right. Finn would think twice before cockblocking Noah Puckerman, or indeed any man, again. Puck had done a favour to men everywhere. At least that's what he told himself when Rachel lectured him for a full hour the next morning. But damn, she looked cute when she was angry.

* * *

**AN: Well hoped you like it! I know Finn and Santana...I like to flirt with weird couplings. I'm even keen on Quinn and Artie so they will definitely be making an appearance.**

**I have an outline of the next chapter. Basically it will be called In Which Puck Learns About Jealousy. Bet you guys can guess what happens next chapter.**

**REVIEW AND WHAT NOT! YOU TOTALLY SHOULD :)**

**Ciao bitches! Puckleberry forever!**


	13. In Which Puck Learns About Jealousy

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee or pretty much anything. Wait, I bought mice yesterday, I own Peanut the mouse and my husband owns Butter the mouse. Yeah we bought mice that we called Peanut and Butter, we think we're clever LOL**

**AN: it was pointed out to me that the original gleeks barely make any appearance in these one shots. I shall have to remedy that. Here is some Quinn and Artie, Finn and Santana, Rachel and Puck and another random couple that I decided to place together. Plus mentions of Matt and Mercedes. They are my new fav coupling that I like to see together.**

* * *

**In Which Puck Learns About Jealousy**

"So you are sure you're okay with this?" Santana repeated for the fifth time and Quinn rolled her eyes. Quinn sat in between Santana and Rachel in the choir room about a month and a half into the new school year. The two girls had practically carried her into the room for the conversation before Glee started.

"I'm sure," Quinn assured her coolly and Santana looked over at Rachel then back at Quinn. Rachel and Santana had been planning this conversation with Quinn since they found out Finn had the hots for Santana. They had been expecting tears or anger, but Quinn just accepted the news amiably.

"Because if you aren't okay with it, I will tell Finn that I can't date him," Santana gave Quinn another opportunity to call her a bad friend or yell at her but Quinn just smiled.

She had thought a lot over the last month since they had gone to New York; she had accepted that Finn had moved on. While Rachel and Puck had been inseparable over the Christmas holidays, Quinn had taken to spending time with the original Gleeks to fill up her days and she was starting to realise that she could still have a great life even without Finn. Brittany and Mike had broken up about two weeks ago but were still friends. Kurt met a boy at show camp over the holidays that he was emailing back and forth. Mercedes and Matt had taken to spending time together and everyone was certain that a possible romance was blossoming though the two in question said they were just friends. Over the past month Quinn and Finn had really made progress with being friends and for the first time since she miscarried Quinn was feeling like the world was right again. She had great friends, a great new family, she was doing okay.

"I'm fine with it really," Quinn promised them and Rachel frowned.

"You're not just saying that?" Rachel asked hesitantly and Quinn let out a chuckle.

"No, I'm fine with it; really, I want Finn to be happy. I caused him so much pain, I really just want him to be happy," Quinn looked them both in the eyes hoping they would believe her this time and Santana and Rachel both sighed with relief and nodded accepting this was her answer. Santana had a wide smile on her face at the realisation that she would finally be going on a date with Finn.

The door to the choir room opened and Artie rolled in carrying his guitar. He looked up when he saw them and gave a friendly smile.

"Hey Rachel, Santana," Artie greeted them and then he paused as he looked at Quinn and said in a much softer voice, "hey Quinn."

"Hey Artie," Quinn said shyly as he rolled by. Santana and Rachel exchanged a curious glance. Quinn noticed their look and tried to escape but they pounced on her practically dragging her into the toilets. Since it was after school there was no one around which suited them as they were about to interrogate Quinn.

"What is going on with you and Artie?" Santana demanded, half offended that Quinn hadn't dished on this new development earlier.

"Remember when I said I was learning guitar?" Quinn began as Santana perched on the bench and Rachel placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder.

"You are really getting good by the way," Rachel complimented her and Quinn beamed at the praise.

"Thank you," she gushed proudly, happy that her hard work had paid off.

"Focus guys," Santana interrupted them and Quinn blushed.

"Well Artie was actually teaching me, I spent most of my time at his house these holidays and we got to talking about Finn and Tina," Quinn's explanation of her newfound attraction to Artie was cut off by Santana.

"Oh my gosh, that's right, didn't Tina and Artie have a thing?" she gasped excitedly looking to Rachel for the scoop but Rachel just shrugged. Rachel had really only started gossiping when Quinn moved in with her.

"Sort of, there was a kiss, but nothing else because he found out she was lying about her stutter," Quinn got them both up to date on the Tina/Artie scandal from last year and the two girls both nodded remembering when Tina had miraculously lost her stutter. Quinn continued her story, "Anyway, we just connected you know? He lets me be myself and I like that. We've been spending lunchtime at the library together and in the mornings we have guitar sessions together. I really like spending time with him. He makes me happy."

"So are you dating?" Rachel asked eagerly really getting into the gossip and Quinn shook her head.

"I'm hoping he asks me soon," Quin admitted sheepishly and Santana and Rachel engulfed her into a group hug.

"I'm happy for you Quinn," Rachel whispered and Santana was quick to agree,

"Me too."

The door swung open and two familiar girls barrelled in and the blonde pushed the ebony haired girl against the bathroom wall and kissed her passionately. Rachel, Santana and Quinn stared in awe as Brittany continued to make out with Tina not noticing that they had an avid audience. Santana and Quinn were stunned speechless, Rachel however was delighted by the development.

"Yes! Now we can start the GayLesbAll Club!" Rachel cheered happily and Tina and Brittany sprang apart guiltily, finally realising that they had been found out.

The looks on Santana, Quinn and Rachel's faces said that Tina and Brittany had a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

Puck never really had cause to be jealous of Rachel. Firstly he was a stud, who would cheat on him? He was clearly a catch. Secondly, at school everyone knew Rachel belonged to him and if they even looked at her in a way that he didn't like he would acquaint the perpetrator with his fist. When they were outside of school the way Rachel dressed pretty much guaranteed no man would flirt with her. Puck liked the fact that he was the only guy who found sweaters, short skirts and knee high socks sexy because he didn't have to worry about any guys going after his girl.

Which is why he cursed the day Rachel agreed for both of them to go on a double date with Finn and Santana because Santana offered to give Rachel a makeover in exchange which meant Rachel could redeem her Christmas makeover voucher. Unlike Kurt, Santana was very good at giving make over's. Finn, Santana and Puck stood in the living room like a cliché movie awaiting Rachel's descent, and her dads stood nearby with their cameras at the ready. Seriously, they had cameras ready to take photos of her emerging, Joseph kept saying that 'his little caterpillar was becoming a beautiful butterfly'.

Rachel came down the stairs looking so incredible that Puck nearly blew his load just looking at her. Her dark hair was straightened, her eyes smoky, wearing a tight black vest and skin tight jeans that left little to the imagination. Rachel had quite a body on her, Puck knew that first hand, he just didn't like the fact that now everyone out there would know it too. Finn was staring at Rachel with a little too much appreciation and Puck grabbed Santana by the arm while Rachel's dads set about taking enough photos to fill a photo album.

"What have you done to my Rachel?" Puck asked horrified. He loved the change, his girlfriend was hot, but he liked the old Rachel more. Santana chuckled knowingly.

"You take her for granted," Santana taunted him smugly, "she has to watch girls fawn over you, now it's your turn."

Puck glared at her hard; wishing for her to spontaneously combust. When she didn't, he settled for growling at her.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Bitch."

"Bastard."

"Whore."

"Prick."

Damn Santana was quick. Rachel finally convinced her dads to stop acting like members of the paparazzi and she approached Puck hesitantly. Only his thoughts meant anything to her.

"Noah do I look okay?" Rachel ventured to ask and Puck smiled at her. She looked much better than okay; that was his problem.

"You look great babe," he assured her pulling her close for a hug and a kiss while giving Santana the finger behind Rachel's back. Santana's response was giggling.

* * *

Puck had to admit, Rachel's butt looked fantastic in jeans; especially when she bent over to inspect the bowling balls on offer. Maybe there was a good side to Santana's make over after all.

"Damn look at the ass on that sweet thing," a voice commented from Puck's left and Puck looked over to see a group of college guys admiring his girlfriend's ass. Puck cracked his knuckles in anticipation; it was time for him to bust some skulls. Unfortunately he was intercepted by Finn.

"Bro, I know you want to beat them up but this is my first date with Santana so please don't ruin this for me, you owe me man," Finn tried to appeal to the guilt ridden side of Puck and Puck's anger abated slightly knowing that Finn was right. Just to guarantee Finn added, "Besides you know Rachel hates it when you get into fights."

"You have a point, if I get in one more fight Rachel said she would ban the goodies," Puck's anger faded quickly as he remembered the last conversation he had with Rachel in regard to his violent behaviour. Puck really liked Rachel's goodies, so he didn't want to be banned.

"Oh she has a friend," another college guy commented lustily and Finn and Puck turned to see Santana standing with Rachel and the two of them bent over to inspect the balls at the bottom of the shelf giving clear view of their perfect asses.

"Hot damn I love high school girls," the first college guy reiterated, looking over at the girls.

Finn clenched his fists but kept his temper while Puck closed his eyes muttering to himself.

"Remember the goodies, remember the goodies."

Puck won the first game and he made Rachel kiss him every time he got a strike which was five times. He also made her kiss him so that he could keep branding her in case the college guys got any funny ideas about trying to hit on her. Clearly, Rachel already had someone awesome in her life and Puck just wanted to make sure the college guys knew that. Rachel offered to get them pizza and soda and went up to make the order while the others set up for the next game. Rachel returned to the table with the tray of food and all the money Puck had given her to pay for the meals.

"Berry, you're supposed to pay for the food when you get it," Puck reminded her teasingly and Rachel shrugged.

"Pete and Chris were gracious enough to purchase our meals for us," Rachel pointed at the two college guys and when Puck and Finn looked over the two guys smirked and waved. To the girls it looked like nothing but a friendly wave but in boy language that wave meant 'we are moving in on your territory suckers'. Santana even fluttered her fingers at them much to Finn's horror.

"How thoughtful of them," Santana murmured, more so to get a rise out of Finn than anything else and Finn looked justly thunderous. Santana was pleased; this meant that Finn really thought of her as his, and that was nice.

"That's it," Puck grunted getting to his feet ready to lay down the law but Rachel placed a small hand against his chest and pushed him back in his seat, moving to sit on his lap.

If there is one thing that Rachel has learnt about Noah Puckerman, is that it's all about distractions for him. For example, if she wanted to watch a musical and Puck was being particularly stubborn about it, all she had to do was straddle him and make out for a little bit, then he would watch whatever she wanted because he was too distracted to remember what he was fighting for. The same rule applied here.

"Noah, please no fighting," Rachel begged and looking down at those delicious strawberry lips there was no way Puck could say no. Instead he dipped his head and captured her lips with his.

Santana muttered 'get a room' under her breath while Finn looked plain uncomfortable. He had spent all day wondering when the right moment was for him to try and kiss Santana and he briefly wondered if now was it. He looked over at Santana but she had a look of disgust on her face. Finn decided to withhold his kiss for another moment.

"Hey baby, why don't you quit wasting your time with that loser and give a real man a try?" Pete jeered and he and his friend chuckled at Puck's expense. Puck clenched his fist and eased Rachel off his lap getting to his feet. Rachel sighed knowing what was about to happen.

"Sorry babe," Puck apologised before walking over and socking Pete in the jaw.

Finn rolled his eyes and ran over to help Puck out when Chris tackled him from behind, the four of them starting a brawl in the middle of the bowling alley. Finn should have known an evening with Puck would end up with both of them getting in a fight. This time however, Finn was careful to protect his baby maker.

* * *

Puck and Finn sat on the Berry porch, Puck had some frozen peas on his knuckles and some frozen corn on his jaw while Finn had a slab of steak on his cheekbone. Santana was doting on Finn but Rachel was pacing as she started her lecture that they had all known was coming since they were kicked out of the bowling alley.

"I hope you are happy, I have never been more embarrassed in my life. I, Rachel Berry, am banned from the bowling alley, the bowling alley! This is a disgrace. They nearly called the police! Can you imagine if we had been arrested? My future career as a Broadway star could have been in jeopardy all because you had to get into a fight," all Puck could think through her ranting and raving was that she looked adorable with her face all red and that expression on her face. Rachel caught him smiling and her anger turned directly on him, "You think this is funny?"

Puck figured he was screwed anyway so he was going to enjoy the ride all the way down the volcano that was Rachel Berry. She was right at boiling point and ready to blow.

"Did you see the guy's face when I shoved it into the pizza?" Puck asked Finn completely ignoring Rachel and Finn laughed then winced, the stretching of his face causing him pain though he did still manage to give Puck an awkward high five.

"That was classic man."

"Ugh!" Rachel threw her hands up in the air in frustration preparing to go inside and beginning step one of 'ignoring Noah for the rest of the weekend' but Puck intercepted her, his frozen vegetables falling forgotten to the floor in his haste to get to her.

"Babe," Puck said, his hazel eyes staring into hers in a disarming way and Rachel narrowed her eyes. She was not falling for this again.

"Don't you 'babe' me Noah Eli Puckerman you..." Puck cut her off by kissing her passionately and Rachel pulled away from him, "You know this won't work every time..."

Puck cut her off again, this time for good and Finn and Santana sat there watching as Puck kissed his way out of trouble. Finn shook his head in awe.

"I don't know how he does that," Finn said admiringly and Santana pulled the steak from his eye, a mischievous expression on her tanned face.

"Hey Finn?"

"Yeah?" Finn replied, noticing how close their faces were and Santana smirked.

"If you were thinking about kissing me tonight now would be a good time," she pointed out to him and Finn grinned. He loved having a bossy girlfriend.

"Yes ma'am."

Puck and Rachel broke apart to see Finn and Santana locked in something of a romantic make out session and they both made twin faces of disgust.

"Get a room," Puck muttered pulling Rachel inside the house and Rachel grinned.

"Actually, just get off my porch," Rachel called out to them, half joking but half serious.

Her dads would freak if they saw two teens randomly getting it on out on their front porch. Finn and Santana were completely obvious and completely hooked on each other. It was a new year and a new start.

Inside the house Puck and Rachel stood at the window watching as Finn slid his hands down to cup Santana's backside.

"Do we look that revolting when we kiss Noah?" Rachel asked curiously, cocking her head to one side as she watched the new couple explore each other.

"Berry, we are a couple of hot Jews, we look awesome when we make out," Puck assured her confidently and then he tugged her to him grinning cheekily, "But just to be sure, we better practice."

* * *

The following day when Puck dropped by to pick Rachel up for Sunday lunch at his house she came down looking like the Rachel he was used to seeing every day.

"What happened to the new Rachel?" Puck asked, pretending to be upset but on the inside he was jumping for joy. Rachel gave a coy smile.

"There is only one boy I want to notice me and he thinks I look fine the way I am," Rachel replied and Puck snaked a hand around to grab her butt underneath her skirt.

"Yes he does," Puck agreed pulling her close for a kiss and Rachel laughed entwining her arms around his neck.

* * *

**AN: As I said in a previous AN on my Make Me Forget story, I would so turn into a lesbian for Lea Michele. So diva(dot)divine and I have decided that we are proud members (and possible co-captains if she accepts my offer) of the 'I'd Go Gay for Lea' Club LOL.**

**If you want to be a proud member let me know! I'm going to make a club list on my profile page and write all the members there so you will know who else would Go Gay for Lea!! Then we can all drool over her together.**

**REVIEW MY LOVELIES!**

**Also as always if you had any requests for a one shot please let me know! I'll see what I can do! **


	14. In Which Puck and Rachel Fight

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

**AN: moosemer11: Loved the fighting so I decided to do one dedicated to their first real fight. Which I thought could coincide with bella0148 request for Puck to ambush her into a classroom :)**

* * *

**In Which Puck and Rachel Fight**

Puck was feeling particularly frisky one Monday and decided to kidnap Rachel on her way to biology into an empty classroom. She squealed loudly when she felt a hand grip her arm and tug her into a darkened classroom. Rachel's dad's had taken her to self defences classes before and so Rachel reacted without thinking, firstly stomping her foot down on her assailants foot and then elbowing said assailant in the stomach. Puck let out two groans as his girlfriend assaulted him and he let her go abruptly to he bent over to catch his breath, saying a silent prayer that she wasn't exactly a midget because if she elbowed any lower mini Puck might have seriously been in danger, and that wasn't good for anyone, especially big Puck.

"Relax Karate Kid, it's just me," Puck managed to cough, wincing as he straightened up shaking his head at her, "Damn Rach, I'd hate to meet you in a dark alley."

Rachel immediately relaxed when she saw it was Puck who had grabbed her and she grinned at him mischievously.

"Don't lie, you'd love to meet me in a dark alley," Rachel replied with a sultry smile and Puck grinned.

He held out his arms and Rachel bounded to him, her body melting against his. Puck trailed a kiss down her jaw and began nibbling on her neck. He had been trying to convince her that sexing at school would be hot and he was pretty sure he nearly had her completely convinced.

"Have you applied for college yet?" Rachel asked him seriously and Puck groaned pulling away from her. For the past month Rachel had really been riding him about applying to colleges it was all getting a bit too much. Thinking about his future wasn't exactly a strong point for him; he didn't have many options.

"Babe, can't you rip me a new one after lunch at least? I won't be able to put up with your whining until I'm full of nachos," Puck said with exasperation and Rachel stepped back from him, completely offended. She was only trying to help him and be a good girlfriend and he made it sound like she was purposefully making it her mission to annoy him.

"I am not whining, excuse me for taking an interest in your future but if you want to just stay in this town and be a Lima loser then so be it," Rachel snapped not watching her words and she gasped when she realised what she had said as Puck stiffened and his hazel eyes glared at her hatefully.

"What the heck did you just call me Berry?" Puck asked darkly and Rachel felt awful.

"Noah I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, I merely..." Rachel tried to apologise but she was cut off when Puck grabbed her by the arm roughly, sneering.

"You think I'm such a loser right? You think one day when you are in New York married to some businessman asshole and are a star on Broadway you can laugh about the time you went slumming with a loser back in your hometown," Puck spat at her giving a dry laugh and Rachel shook her head violently.

"That is not even..." she didn't get much further than that because Puck released her arm.

"Screw you Berry, I don't need you," Puck threw at her as he stalked to the door, stopping in the doorway to look back at her coldly, "We're done."

Puck turned on his heel and stormed away and Rachel was left there slack jawed wondering how on Earth she had lost her boyfriend in all of two seconds.

* * *

He refused to talk to her. In Glee he ignored her, he didn't answer her calls and when she tried to speak to him during school he just walked away from her. Four days of this treatment and Rachel was at her wits end, wondering how on earth she could make this right. Her nerves were a mess, which was why when Puck ignored her again when they passed each other in the halls she burst into tears and ran for the bathroom. Puck watched her go and steeled his heart. It was just better this way.

Rachel burst into the bathroom startling Brittany and Tina as she barrelled into a cubicle and slammed the door behind her. Brittany quickly texted for Quinn and Santana while Tina knocked on the door softly trying to find out what was wrong. Rachel's only response was sobbing. Santana and Quinn made it to the bathroom in record time and Quinn frowned at the cubicle door that Rachel had barricaded herself behind. Brittany and Tina held onto each other worriedly and Santana was biting her lower lip. They had all noticed something was off about Puck and Rachel but neither had said anything to anyone so everyone had figured it was just a little lovers spat.

"Rachel, what's going on?" Quinn asked gently, hoping Rachel would talk to her.

"Puck broke up with me," Rachel wailed from behind the door and her words shocked the other four girls who couldn't believe that Puck and Rachel were over. Puck was completely whipped by Rachel, they all knew that. Something big had to have happened.

Santana cursed Puck loudly in Spanish; Rachel caught the word bastard and could hazard a guess at what the other words meant.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Quinn asked softly and Rachel opened the door allowing it to slowly swing open. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and she was sitting on the toilet seat looking utterly defeated.  
"I thought we would make up, I thought it was just a little fight but he won't even look at me," Rachel sniffled morosely. Quinn pulled some tissue off the toilet roll and handed it to Rachel for her to dry her tears.

"What happened?" Tina asked curiously, wondering what it was that would make the two fall apart like this. Puck and Rachel were an odd couple but they just clicked.

"I was nagging him about his college applications and I...I said some awful things to him," Rachel felt ashamed as she remembered their conversation that day and Santana frowned. Santana knew Puck fairly well and she know that harsh words certainly didn't bother him.

"What did you say?" Santana asked curiously and Rachel dropped her eyes to the bathroom tiles.

"I said if he wanted to stay in this town and be a Lima loser then so be it," she whispered softly and Quinn's eyes widened in shock.

"You called him a Lima loser?" Quinn asked, knowing how much she herself had hurt Puck by telling him that back when she had been pregnant.

"No, I said if he wanted to be one then so be it, I didn't mean he was one, and now he won't even acknowledge me," Rachel explained herself the way she would have done to Puck if he would just give her a chance but so far he continued to ignore her.

"We knew something had happened," Tina said looking sympathetic and Brittany nodded.

"We thought you would make up," Brittany added looking sad.

"How do I fix this?" Rachel asked them but none of them really had an answer. Puck was a complex person. Rachel turned to Santana, "San you dated him, what do I do?"

"Rach, I called Puck a Lima loser a million times when we were dating but he didn't care because frankly, we didn't really even like each other. With you; he loves you Rach, you are the one person he let close to him," Santana was trying to make Rachel feel better but she only succeeded in making her feel worse. Rachel knew Puck never let anyone get close to him yet he opened up to her. And Rachel had repaid his trust by ridiculing him. She felt like the most terrible person in the whole world. Quinn noticed the guilt on Rachel's face and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"We know he loves you. He'll come around," Quinn said with more conviction than she felt. Once Noah Puckerman made up his mind it was near impossible to change but Quinn was going to work her hardest to make sure that he did. Rachel wiped away her tears and nodded.

"I hope so," she whispered as the girls helped her up and started to clean her off and make her presentable.

Quinn, Santana, Brittany and Tina sent Rachel on her way to class, watching her go like a mother would on their child's first day of school. The four huddled back into the ladies bathroom for a quick brainstorm.

"I'll get Finn to talk to Puck," Santana announced to the other three and they nodded thinking that would be best. Santana quickly hurried back to class and Quinn turned to Tina and Brittany, raisin a curious eyebrow.

"Don't you two have class?" she asked, a small smile coming to her lips and Tina blushed. While Rachel, Quinn and Santana were the only ones who knew of Tina and Brittany's budding relationship, they were sure some of the other members had a sneaking suspicion what was going on.

"Study period," she said quickly, anxious to avoid any further questioning and Brittany grinned adoringly at her.

"We're studying anatomy," she told Quinn innocently and Quinn couldn't stop the smile that came to her face.

"I'll bet you are," Quinn quipped giving a chuckle at Tina's mortified expression. Quinn decided to leave the two up to their own devices as she exited the bathroom.

To Quinn's surprise she found Artie waiting for her. He and Quinn weren't officially dating, but they did do things together every weekend and Quinn was sure a formal request would be made soon. Well she hoped a formal request would be made soon because she was dying to kiss him.

"What's going on?" Artie asked having seen Rachel leaving the bathroom looking like a cloud was following her, and he had noticed that Quinn was missing in class.

"Rachel and Puck drama," Quinn sighed dramatically and a smile came to Artie's face.

"She's not pregnant with Finn's baby is she?" Artie joked teasingly but then he saw the look on Quinn's face and asked hesitantly, "Too soon?"

"You are such a goof," Quinn laughed finding the funny side and Artie laughed with her.

"I guess that's why you like me so much," Artie chuckled but then he realised exactly what he had said and he flushed bright red with embarrassment and tried to backtrack, "I mean..."

"I do like you a lot Artie," Quinn interrupted him, looking down at the ground shyly and Artie breathed a sigh of relief.

"I like you a lot too," he confessed and then he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "So I was thinking, I know this isn't the most romantic setting but I was wondering if you would like to become officially mine?"

Quinn didn't respond, instead she dipped her head and her lips met his in a soft kiss. When she pulled away they were both grinning.

"I'll take that as a yes," Artie grinned confidently, then he waggled his eyebrows comically, "Puck better watch out, I think I might consider challenging him for the title of Glee Stud."

At the mention of Puck and Rachel Quinn's happiness faded.

"We need to do something about Puck and Rachel," Quinn told him and Artie smile gently and patted his lap.

"Come on girlfriend, tell me the story and we will come up with a plan," Artie invited her and Quinn sat down on his lap and allowed him to wheel them to class while she updated him on the soap opera that was Noah Puckerman and Rachel Berry. Quinn was hoping Artie would be able to come up with something.

Meanwhile Santana was waiting outside Finn's class and when he emerged she dragged him to a quiet area to talk.

"You have gym with Puck next right?" Santana asked seriously and Finn nodded.

"Yeah, why?" Finn replied wondering at his girlfriend's obsession with Puck and Santana could see the green eyed monster rearing its ugly head behind Finn's eyes. Santana hastened to explain her interest in her ex-boyfriend lest her current boyfriend get the wrong idea.

"Something is up with him and Rachel, you need to get him to at least talk to her," Santana spelled out for him, not really surprised that Finn hasn't noticed that Puck had been in a black mood for the past four days, or that Rachel constantly looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Is Rachel okay?" Finn asked automatically worried for his friend and Santana ignored the sting at how concerned Finn seemed to be about Rachel. Santana had come to accept that there would always be this 'thing' between the two.

"She's just heartbroken," Santana said sadly as she remembered the look on Rachel's face earlier today then she went on her tip toes to kiss Finn's lips and his arms wrapped around her pulling her against him possessively.

"I'll talk to Puck," Finn promised her and Santana smiled winningly.

"Just for that, tonight, if your hands go wandering I won't notice," Santana whispered teasingly and Finn grinned brushing his lips against hers again.

* * *

In the locker room after gym Finn cornered Puck to have a man to man talk. Puck just glared at a spot over Finn's shoulder automatically knowing what this 'intervention' was about. Finn was on a mission. He had to talk to Puck because his hands definitely wanted to go wandering all over Santana Lopez.

"What is up with you and Rachel?" Finn started off and Puck shrugged.

"We're over man," Puck retorted trying to sound like he didn't care and Finn frowned.

"Why?"

Finn knew Puck really liked Rachel, in fact, Finn was pretty sure Puck loved her not that Puck had ever admitted that to anyone but Rachel.

"We had a fight and we broke up," Puck stated like it was simple, but his eyes flashed with pain for just a moment. A moment was enough, Finn saw the look in his eyes.

"But you still love her," Finn pointed out astutely, and then he shrugged, "Why don't you get back together with her? She looks miserable without you and you're an ass without her."

Puck ran a hand over his Mohawk.

"She's better off without me. I overreacted in the fight and I was going to apologise but then I thought about it. Rachel is going somewhere, she's getting out of Lima and she's going to be a star but me? I'm still gonna be in Lima being a nobody. I'd only hold her back. She's better off," Puck said this softly and Finn shook his head at Puck's backward thinking gallantry. Puck thought he was doing the right thing by Rachel; Finn thought he was stupid and that was saying something.

"Don't you think Rachel should be the one to decide that?" Finn asked rhetorically not giving Puck a chance to reply as he grabbed his bag and exited the locker room to claim his reward from Santana. Once Finn left Puck reeled his fist back and punched his locker not caring that he bruised his knuckles.

* * *

Mr Shue was blissfully unaware of the tension between the Puck and Rachel that afternoon in Glee. Mr Shue hadn't given them a duet yet and he thought now was as good a time as any. The Invitational's were just around the corner and he wanted a ballad to showcase. After much thought; and Quinn and Artie telling him in no uncertain terms that Rachel and Puck had to sing this song together at Glee, Mr Shue had decided to let Puck and Rachel sing the song. After all Mr Shue knew they were happily dating so it wouldn't be hard for them to imagine they were a couple in love finally able to be together. He handed out the music to all of Glee and those who were aware of the plan looked over the music with anticipation.

"I would like to use this ballad for the Invitational's, Puck you are male lead, Rachel you take the female lead," Mr Shue gave out the directions and Puck finally looked over at Rachel for a split second. Her lower lip was trembling and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. He felt like a giant asshole when he saw how much she was hurting. He had been trying to tell himself it was for her own good, but after talking with Finn and seeing her now, he couldn't remember why it had been a good idea for him to break up with her in the first place.

Finn raised his hand and opened his mouth to complain that he wasn't the male lead like usual but Santana elbowed him hard in the side and he gasped, doubling over in pain.

"Finn you okay?" Mr Shue asked noticing that Finn was hurt and Santana smiled innocently patting her boyfriend on the back.

"He's fine Mr Shue," Santana assured the Glee coach then she leaned over Finn to whisper discreetly, "Do you want Puck and Rachel to get back together?"

Finn nodded quickly. Both Rachel and Puck had been miserable without each other and Puck had broken his Xbox controller when he came over last night in a fit of anger. Finn wanted to be able to hang out with Puck without fearing for the safety of his electronics and that meant that Puck needed to get back with Rachel.

"Then let them sing this song," Santana hissed at him and it suddenly struck Finn what was going on.

He turned to Quinn and Artie who gave him the thumbs up when no one else was looking. Finn thought back to earlier today when he saw Quinn and Artie talking to Mr Shue, handing Mr Shue some sheet music. They had planned this, to have Rachel and Puck sing together; it was then that Finn realised that Artie and Quinn were devious masterminds in matchmaking. Finn gave a smile and placed his arm around Santana's shoulders and kissed her cheek content to watch the reunion play out.

The music began with the piano and Rachel got to her feet, her hands shaking as she forced herself not to look at Puck who took his place opposite her on the other side of the room. She missed him so much these past five days, how was she supposed to survive the rest of the year, or the rest of her life for that matter? She knew she was being ridiculous and high school romances never worked out, but right now, all she knew was that she needed him.

"_Kiss me too fiercely; hold me too tight, I need help believing, you're with me tonight. My wildest dreamings could not foresee, lying beside you with you wanting me. And just for this moment, as long as you're mine, I've lost all resistance and crossed the border line,"_ Rachel sang softly, her voice nearly shaking with emotion. Rachel chanced a glance over at Puck but he refused to look at her. Her heart broke a little more at his rejection, _"And if it turns out, it's over too fast, I'll make every last moment last, as long as you're mine."_

Rachel bowed her head to the ground as Puck started singing. His voice brought back memories of them together, hearing his voice was painfully beautiful.

"_Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise, but you've got me seeing, through different eyes,_" Puck looked over at her again and the words he was singing meant something to him. Since he had been with Rachel he had seen the world with different eyes, he had started to believe in himself the way that she did. She was his lifeline; she was the girl of his dreams. He wanted her back and he hoped he hadn't screwed it up to badly with her, _"Somehow I've fallen under your spell, and somehow I'm feeling, it's up that I fell."_

Puck couldn't stand seeing Rachel so sad, and knowing he was to blame made him feel even worse. He just wanted to see her smile again; he wanted to be the one to make her smile again. In two strides he was across the room and he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind pulling her flush against him. Rachel gasped as her hands clasped over his tightly as they started singing together, _"Every moment as long as your mine, I'll wake up my body and make up for lost time."_

The tears were sliding down Rachel's face but she didn't care, all she knew was that her Noah was holding her as if he didn't want to let her go and she didn't want him to.  
_  
"Say there's no future for us as a pair_," Puck sang softly moving so that Rachel turned to face him and Rachel beamed up at him as they sang together, _"And though I may know I don't care!_"

They came together for the crescendo and last chorus, their eyes never leaving each other as they sang. Rachel clung to Puck desperately and his arms didn't release her in the slightest.

_Just for this moment  
As long as your mine  
Come be how you want to  
And see how bright we shine  
Borrow the moonlight  
Until it is through  
And know I'll be here  
Holding you  
as long as you're mine! _

The music faded to a soft instrumental.

"What is it?" Puck asked Rachel who was smiling up at him and he pressed his forehead to hers.

"It's just for the first time I feel..." Rachel spoke, and then her eyes flashed with mischief as she whispered, "...wicked."

The song ended and Puck pressed his lips to hers. Mr Shue finally noticed something was off about his lead pair. He opened his mouth to tell them they could go outside for a moment to talk if they wanted but Puck started speaking.

"I'm not going to college Rachel, my grades aren't good enough plus there is just no way in hell my mom could afford it. I figured you would be better off without someone like me tying you down," Puck confessed to her honestly and Rachel finally understood why he had been putting his college applications off.

"Noah..." Rachel breathed saddened that he didn't confide in her earlier but she knew that he was just too proud.

"I don't have a choice. I'm stuck in this town for the rest of my life, but you can go places and I don't want to hold you back," Puck told her taking her face in his hands as he pressed his forehead to hers and Rachel placed her hands on his chest.

"You can't give up, we will find a way," she whispered surely and someone in the room cleared their throat loudly.

"Singing scholarships," Finn spoke up and Rachel and Puck turned to look at him curiously.

"What?"

"I'm applying for a singing scholarship," Finn revealed simply, looking hopeful, "Miss Pillsbury has all the forms, you can apply today."

"You see? Don't give up Noah, I'm not ready to give up on you, or on us," Rachel pleaded with him and Puck just wrapped her up in a huge bear hug, fully aware that he had been a complete pansy in front of the entire Glee Club but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I don't deserve you Rach," Puck said to her softly and Rachel kissed his lips lightly.

"We deserve each other," she assured him and Puck held her close to him silently vowing never to let her go.

"Do you get the feeling we've completely missed something?" Kurt asked Mercedes who looked over at Quinn and Artie who were holding hands, and then at Brittany and Tina who were also holding hands and whispering to each other and lastly at Santana and Finn who were smiling secretively as they all watched Puck and Rachel reunite with great interest.

"It was probably boring anyway," Mercedes said dismissively and Kurt laughed.

Yeah, it was probably just another boring day at McKinley High.

* * *

**AN: LOL I tried to make this as fun as possible, while it was serious as well. Fail lol. Hope you enjoyed it. I've been listening to way too much Spring Awakening and Wicked lately; I am hoping to watch both musicals on one weekend in February because I have to fly down to freaking Sydney to watch them and I ain't flying down twice in one year. It will be such an awesome weekend.**

**REVIEW MY LOVELIES!**


	15. In Which Puck Learns Who Wears The Pants

**Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own anything.**

**AN: This is for WickedGlee for her birthday. I know it's not the chapter you asked for, but I will write the one you asked for eventually. This is just one that came to me yesterday and I hurried to finish it in time to be your birthday present so...enjoy!**

* * *

**In Which Puck Learns Who Wears The Pants**

Puck laughed as his soldier knifed Finn's soldier in a bloody rage effectively winning the game.

"Take that Hudson!" Puck crowed punching Finn's arm for good measure and Finn shot him an annoyed glare. Behind them Matt, Mike and Artie were arguing over who got to battle Puck next when 'Sweet Caroline' filled the air. Puck dived for his cell and flipped it open.

"Hey babe," he greeted his girlfriend, ignoring the grins that his friends gave him for the ringtone that he had specifically for Rachel. Screw them, Neil Diamond was the shit. And when Rachel found out she had the special ring tone she had given him car sex for the first time, in the driveway outside her house...out-freaking-standing.

"Noah, do you think you could bring us over some ice cream?" Rachel asked sweetly and in the background he could hear the girls giggling. Rachel and Quinn were hosting a girl sleepover which was why Finn had invited all the guys over to his house for some hang out time while the girls were otherwise occupied. Puck grimaced at her request. There was no way he was going on a midnight run for ice cream when it was obvious he would not be getting any when he brought it to her because she had friends over.

"Babe, I'm doing something really important right now," Puck tried to let her down gently and he could hear her huffing on the other end of the phone which was never a good sign. She was either about to bust his balls or go into a lecture.

"Are you saying that playing Xbox with the guys is more important than me?" Rachel demanded, her voice rising in pitch and Puck knew he was backed into a corner. Rachel was the freaking master at turning his words around and making him look like a douche.

"No," Puck said softly and Rachel voice became sweet again.

"So you will bring the ice cream?"

"Yes," Puck agreed and Rachel giggled on the other end of the phone.

"Thank you Noah, cookies and cream, love you," Rachel instructed him and Puck sighed deeply, not wanting to relinquish more of his manhood by saying 'I love you' in front of all his friends who were watching him intently.

"Yeah," Puck said quickly eager to hang up but Rachel saying his name warningly made him pause and he finally said really quickly, "I love you too babe."

He hung up before Rachel could make him say any more embarrassing things, like use their pet names for each other. God if the guys ever found out about their pet names Puck was done for. If the guys ever found out about their special pet names he would basically just have to hand his balls over to Berry. Puck threw down his controller and grabbed his jacket.

"I gotta go, Berry wants ice cream," Puck told them shrugging his jacket on and Finn laughed at Puck's expense, completely amused by the change in his friend. They weren't complete best friends again but they were on their way.

"You are so freaking whipped man," Finn commented patting him on the back and the other guys started laughing as well. Puck glared at Finn.

"I am not," he retorted folding his arms across his chest and Finn raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" Finn asked innocently as he asked, "So you didn't buy tampons last night for her?"

"Shut up," Puck growled feeling his cheeks colour with embarrassment.

Finn catching him buying stuff for Rachel had been the most awkward moment of his life. But Rachel had promised him a blow job for his good deed so he had put up with the embarrassment and he had cashed in his blow job as well so all in all, it was a pretty good night.

"Face it Puck, you're about as badass as Jacob Ben Israel now," Finn teased him and Puck narrowed his eyes at the challenge. Finn was going to make him look like a pussy in front of the guys? Well two could play at this game.

"You're one to talk," Puck said to Finn grinning evilly, "The only reason you caught me at the corner store buying shit for Berry was because Santana had you buying hair spray and lipstick for her."

Matt started to laugh and both boys rounded on him. Artie kept making a gesture for Matt to stop laughing before Puck and Finn turned on him but Matt didn't see it in time.

"What are you laughing at Rutherford?" Finn demanded folding his arms across his chest, "Mercedes has you twisted around her little finger and you aren't even dating."

That shut Matt up.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Matt said tightly, suddenly finding the frayed hem of his jeans very interesting.

"He's talking about you holding her bag while she went to the bathroom yesterday," Puck joined in reminding Matt of the moment when Rachel, Puck, Finn and Santana had caught Matt standing outside the ladies bathroom holding a sequined purple purse.

"Shame dude," Mike said shaking his head at his best friend.

Mike was just glad he had no girlfriend or girl he was trying to impress at the moment. Ever since he turned Brittany gay he was taking his time choosing someone else. He wanted to make sure the next chick he dated was all hetero.

"Fine I like Mercedes okay, and it wasn't her bag I was holding, it was Kurt's, I'm trying to get Kurt to like me so that he helps me ask Mercedes out," Matt admitted sheepishly and the guys all looked at him with pity and shook their heads.

Matt had it the hardest. If he wanted to date Mercedes he would basically have to date Kurt as well because where one diva went the other would follow.

"Quinn tests out nail polish colours on my toes," Artie said softly ashamed of himself. That set the rest of the guys off and they all erupted into laughter.

They didn't know who had it worse. Puck had the bossy and possibly crazy girlfriend, Finn had the Head Cheerleader who was vain and obsessed with lipstick, Artie had the ex-Head Cheerleader who loved nail polish and had developed an interest for decorating, and Matt wanted the girl who came with gay best friend attached. They laughter faded away as they worked out how pathetic they all were.

"We are freaking whipped," Finn commented out loud and the other nodded in agreement. Yeah they were whipped like the family pig but honestly what were they supposed to do? Puck perked up as an idea came to him.

"We should stand up to them," Puck suggested and as soon as he said it out loud the more he liked it.

He was a stud; he wasn't some girl's ice cream delivery man. Finn smiled widely like the idea as well. He was through being Santana's shopping partner. Matt nodded his head; no longer would he hold a murse just to get close to the girl he liked.

"Yeah, no longer shall we be whipped!" Artie cheered, not wanting to have to explain to his mother and father why he was wearing nail polish on his toes ever again.

"We will be the ones doing the whipping!" Matt declared standing up and raising his fist to the sky.

All four boys paused to picture it in their heads. Their hot girlfriends, or in Matt's case, girl he desperately wanted as his girlfriend, getting whipped by them. Mike was just sitting quietly shaking his head and laughing. His friends were idiots.

"Alright so are we agreed? No more being a bunch of pussies?" Puck asked them and they all cheered in response.

"Deal!"

Five minutes later Puck's cell started ringing again. He causally put it to his ear.

"This is your friendly neighbourhood stud, how may I service you?" Puck drawled into the phone and he could practically see Rachel roll her eyes.

"Noah Puckerman, where is my ice cream?" Rachel's shrilled voice came through the phone so loudly everyone in the room heard it and winced.

"I'm a stud babe, not the ice cream delivery man, you will have to go get the ice cream yourself," Puck said breezily and Finn gave him the thumbs up for being totally cool and manly. Puck was feeling much more in control of their relationship already; clearly he wore the pants.

"Noah, if you ever want to see me naked again you will bring me ice cream," Rachel said with finality and then her voice became husky, "And you will do it now because the girls decided to go to the video store and I will be alone in the house for at least half an hour while they try to decide on a movie."

Puck jumped to his feet his jaw dropping. Why was he here at this sausage fest when his girlfriend was alone in her house and apparently horny? Puck thanked the Gods that Finn only lived a block away from Rachel's house.

"Noah if you aren't here in five minutes I'm starting the party without you," Rachel quipped sexily, her voice practically purring and that was all Puck could take. Being a stud and in charge of their relationship could wait, he was going to get some.

"Be right there," Puck practically yelled into the phone snapping it shut and grabbing all his gear, ignoring the looks of astonishment and betrayal from his friends.

"What the heck dude?" Finn demanded nudging Puck who gave a helpless grin.

"Call me a pussy I don't care, I'm getting some action," Puck declared taking his keys and then he was gone.

"Well the rest of us can't cave," Artie said decidedly and Finn and Matt nodded firmly mourning their fallen comrade.

Puck was definitely whipped.

* * *

Finn lasted till Saturday morning. Santana called him early, waking him up. She didn't even sound apologetic about it.

"Finn can you pick me up and take me to the mall?" Santana cooed through the phone and Finn sat up rubbing his face tiredly. He checked his alarm clock, it was only 8am. Who was even awake at this ungodly hour?

"I'm supposed to be hanging out with Puck today, he got the new Assassin's Creed game," Finn informed Santana trying to hold onto the agreement from the night before that he would not be whipped by Santana Lopez.

"Please Finn, I wanted to buy some new lingerie and I wanted you there so I could model it for you," Santana pleaded cutely and Finn felt his resistance fade away quickly. His two choice of how to spend his day; playing Xbox with Puck or watch Santana strut around in sexy lingerie...screw Assassin's Creed, Finn was going to ogle his girlfriend while she posed for him in sexy lingerie.

"I'll be right there," Finn promised her jumping out of bed and getting ready.

It wasn't until he was sitting in his car outside Santana's house that he realised he was probably even more of a pussy than Puck.

Finn was definitely whipped.

* * *

Quinn pushed Artie up the ramp towards the door to school and Artie pulled on the breaks a little nervously. Quinn came to stand in front of him frowning in confusion.

"I'm not so sure about this Quinn," Artie said hesitantly looking down at his wheelchair.

For some reason Quinn had come over this morning and said that she wanted to decorate his wheelchair for him. This would have been awesome if she didn't stick streamers and beads on the wheel spokes and a picture of a giant unicorn on the back on his chair. Artie was sure he looked like a float at Mardi Gras. He half expected someone to come up and start dancing all around him.

"I think it looks wonderful," Quinn gushed proudly, and then she pouted when she saw he wasn't smiling, and she asked hesitantly, "Don't you like it?"

"I love it Quinn," Artie assured her quickly as he hated seeing her sad. Besides little white lies were okay, that's what his dad said anyway. Quinn threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his, lingering there for a moment.

"I love you," she whispered softly against his lips and Artie knew he was done for. There was no way he could resist doing whatever she wanted when she looked at him with those wide eyes and told him that she loved him. And Artie thought Puck was whipped.

"I love you too," Artie replied automatically, reaching up to gently caress her cheek and Quinn giggled kissing him again before moving behind him to push him up into school. Already Artie could see the stares he was getting and he was sure he would have to put up with a lot more before the end of school but he would put up with it because it made Quinn happy to see him parading in a wheelchair decorated by her.

Artie was definitely whipped.

* * *

Matt was the last one left. The lone ranger. Puck had told Matt that Finn caved in to Santana on Saturday and Matt had just passed Quinn with Artie who was rolling around in a horrifyingly decorated wheelchair that just screamed 'Quinn Fabray was here'. Artie was smiling happily though, because Matt knew Artie would do anything for Quinn. Matt was the only one who hadn't given in and he absolutely wouldn't. If he and Mercedes got together like he hoped they would, he would be the man in the relationship because he was all...manly and whatnot.

"Hey Matt," Mercedes voice rang out in the crowded hallway and Matt turned to see her and a happy grin lit up his face. She looked so beautiful today.

"Hey Mercedes," Matt greeted her, hoping that the smile he was giving her was charming. Mercedes looked at the ground almost shyly and then looked up at him.

"Will you walk me to class?" Mercedes asked innocently and Matt nodded his head eagerly, happy to do whatever she wanted.

"Sure," he accepted holding out his elbow to her and she wrapped her arm through his. Matt couldn't help but think how wonderful it felt to have her on his arm. He was the luckiest man in school. Matt looked down at Mercedes and noticed that she was still smiling.

"Kurt as well?" Mercedes added looking to her right and Matt finally noticed that Kurt was standing beside Mercedes like always and was giving him a haughty stare.

Matt considered his options. Say no to Mercedes and loose his chance to be with her or walk around McKinley with Kurt Hummel on one arm and Mercedes on the other. Matt hung his head; he had failed.

"Uh..." Matt awkwardly held out his arm to Kurt giving a tight smile, "Okay."

"You're the sweetest," Mercedes gushed kissing him on the cheek and Kurt hid a smile behind one hand as he twisted his other arm into Matt's elbow and Matt walked both Kurt and Mercedes to class.

Matt was definitely whipped.

* * *

Before home room that day Brittany, Tina, Santana, Quinn and Mercedes met up in the girl's bathroom and Rachel came running in at the last minute. She pulled out her pink notebook and fluffy pen and handed them to Tina who was the rules officer. Last Wednesday before Glee the girls had come up with a fun game; they would find out which one of their boyfriends, or potential boyfriends in Mercedes case, was more devoted. The plan was for each girl to get her guy to do things to prove how devoted he was and they would then be awarded points. The person with the most points today would win the title of 'Most Powerful Girlfriend'.

"Who's winning so far?" Quinn asked curiously peering over Tina's shoulder and Rachel nudged Quinn with her hip playfully. Quinn nudged her back.

"Well Rachel got 150 points for making Puck get her tampons and for making him bring her ice cream, but Santana making Finn get hairspray and take her to the mall when he was supposed to be hanging with Puck was worth 200 points," Tina rattled off from the game list in the notebook.

"How about me getting Matt to hold Kurt's murse and escort Kurt and me to class today?" Mercedes wanted to know eagerly and Tina tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"I think that's worth 150 points," Brittany spoke up and Tina smiled and wrote down the score under the column that said Mercedes.

"Quinn you get 250 points for making Artie let you paint his toe nails and decorate his wheelchair. It looks so awful, that's definitely dedication to you," Tina commended her and Quinn grinned proudly.

"So I guess Quinn wins then," Santana sighed with disappointment but Rachel shook her head.

"You haven't seen Puck yet," Rachel said somewhat mysteriously and exchanging glances the Glee girls raced to the bathroom door and they all peered out looking for a glimpse of Noah Puckerman.

"What did you make him do?" Quinn asked in disbelief as she tried to push in-between Santana and Brittany to look out of the door.

Rachel merely pointed in Puck's direction where he was standing by his locker waiting for her impatiently. The girls burst into giggles when they saw Puck wearing a matching shirt to Rachel's. Somehow Rachel had gotten Puck to wear a matching outfit to hers.

"You win Rach," Santana acknowledged her shoulders shaking with laughter and Rachel smiled smugly.

There was no mistaking who wore the pants in Puck and Rachel's relationship.

* * *

**AN: This chapter isn't great but I did it really quickly and I do giggle in some parts so I hope you do too!**

**I know people probably don't care but I just wanted to share that I'm slowly getting my husband into Glee. We just watched episode 3 together tonight, hurray, and I swooned when I watched Mark Salling being all sexy and whatnot.**

**Anyway the hubs got an earring recently which I think looks completely gay as he already has one in the same ear he got the new one in. Today he forgot to take one out so he went to work wearing both earrings looking like some gay pirate. He texted me and told me how embarrassed he was. So I texted him.  
**_**  
Me: Ur so lame. If they didn't think u were gay before they do now. Which makes me ur big gay beard LOL. Just kidding.  
**__**  
Him: Is that a reference to glee? Ur so lame babe. Haha joking.  
**_**  
But that totally means he was actually paying attention to the episode we watched because he picked up that it was a Glee reference! I'll make a Glee fan out of him yet, but the funniest was his Puck moment which came after I sent him this reply to the above.  
****_  
Me: Yes it is :) __and u knew it which officially makes you a gleek  
_**_**  
Him: Ive only seen 2 episodes! And I only watched it to get in ur pants. haha**_

**That was totally an unintentional 'Puck moment' by my husband. I was so proud.**

**BTW: Kudos to anyone who knows where the 'whipped like the family pig' line comes from :) hahaha**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY WICKEDGLEE!!**

**AND AS FOR THE REST OF YOU BITCHES, REVIEW! LOL LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	16. In Which Puck Gets Caught

**Disclaimer: Yeah don't own anything.**

**AN: For those of you who requested a time when Puck and Rachel get caught I give you at least three times LOL**

* * *

**In Which Puck Gets Caught**

Puck didn't think it would be so hard to find a place where he could defile his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. Sure it wasn't romantic but Puck was horny and Valentine's Day gave him an excuse to request sex at school and be guaranteed Rachel wouldn't say no because it was Valentine's Day. Puck and Rachel's 'go to' spot was the storage closet in the music room so during free period Puck led his giggling girlfriend to the closet and opened it wide, shocked to find it already occupied.

"Whoa, what the heck is going on here?" Puck stammered as he stared at Mike and Kurt. The two broke apart guiltily, blushing. Puck actually had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Kurt and Mike. Mike and Kurt. Kurt and Mike were making out in the storage closet. Mike gave a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his head.

"I guess me and Brittany turned each other gay," Mike admitted sheepishly and Puck shrugged not really caring. Mike could be whatever the heck he wanted. Rachel looked absolutely thrilled for the two. Puck could practically see the wheels ticking in her head as she mentally reminded herself to make 'congratulations you're gay!' cookies for Mike. Crap, now Puck would have to spend the weekend baking cookies with her.

"I don't care either way as long as you go wave your rainbow flags elsewhere, me and Berry need the closet," Puck said gruffly gesturing for them to get out. Everyone in Glee knew that Rachel and Puck used the storage closet for their at school trysts.

Mike and Kurt needed to find their own hidey hole of love and stop contaminating Puck and Rachel's. Puck had fond memories in that storage closet and now they were mixed with images of Kurt's hands on Mike's butt and Mike's tongue in Kurt's mouth. Puck gave an involuntary shudder. Nothing like imagining man on man love to kill the mood.

"Noah; Kurt and Mike are involved in a very moving moment of self discovery," Rachel scolded him placing one hand on her hip while pointing a finger in Puck's face and Puck just stared at her. Did she not realise that now they had nowhere to get frisky? This was a travesty of epic proportions. Yes, Puck had actually been studying and gone to class this week.

"Also, we were here first, so if you'll excuse us," Kurt said haughtily reaching out to grab the doorknob before shutting the closet door in Puck's astounded face. Rachel pouted at the door while slipping her hand into Puck's.

"Now where are we supposed to go?" Rachel asked him helplessly and Puck shrugged.

"Girls bathroom?" he suggested but Rachel shook her head.

"Its second period, Tina and Brittany will be in there."

"Choir room?"

"Quinn and Artie are in there."

"Janitors closet."

"Mercedes and Matt."

"Under the bleachers?"

"Santana and Finn."

Puck and Rachel stood there staring at each other.

"Is it weird that we know the make out schedules of all our friends?" Puck asked her quietly, kind of disgusted knowing that at this moment in time every member of the Glee club was getting some except for him. Something was wrong with the world.

"Auditorium," Rachel piped up excitedly and Puck grinned, resisting the urge to throw her over his shoulders and charge into the auditorium like a cave man.

"Let's go."

* * *

The auditorium was thankfully empty. Puck grabbed Rachel and sat her down on one of the chairs in the audience before he sank to his knees in front of her. Slowly he reached under her tiny red skirt and slid down her lace black underwear throwing them to the ground. Rachel sighed and wiggled further down the chair widening her knees to give him access and Puck licked his lips ready to explore her when the door to the auditorium swung open and Mr Shue walked in followed by his Spanish class. Puck jumped to his feet guiltily as Rachel smoothed down her skirt.

"Oh come on!" Puck groaned quietly with frustration. Someone up there really did not want him to get laid today.

"Rachel? Puck? What are you guys doing in here?" Mr Shue said their names with surprise not expecting them to be in the auditorium and Rachel stood up and awkwardly pressed her hand down on her skirt blushing bright red.

"We thought we might practice for Glee as we both have free period, I wasn't aware you required the auditorium for Spanish class," Rachel flustered was kind of amusing and Mr Shue was staring at her like he had never met her before because she wasn't speaking like herself. She was nervous and Rachel Berry was never nervous. Mr Shue gave Puck a suspicious look.

"Come on Berry," Puck grabbed her hand and tried to tug her after him but Rachel hesitated.

"Noah my underwear," she hissed at him under her breath while smiling at Mr Shue innocently and Puck saw her black lace underwear on the ground, but there was no way he could pick them up without people, like Mr Shue, noticing. Jacob Ben-Israel was staring at them, or to be more precise, he was staring lustily at Rachel.

"Leave them, I'm sure Jacob Ben-Israel will pick them up," Puck muttered grabbing her hand and dragging her after him to the exit and Rachel self consciously held her skirt down as she walked.

"That is not funny," Rachel snapped at him using her free arm to whack him in the stomach and Puck looked behind him at Jacob Ben-Israel who was staring at the ground with a weird look on his face. Like he found the Holy Grail, or in this case Rachel Berry's panties.

"It wasn't supposed to be," Puck replied, hating the fact that Jacob Ben-Israel was about to possess a pair of Rachel's panties. Puck made a note to beat him up later and steal the underwear back.

Rachel bitched him out for the rest of free period before she shuffled off to her next class acutely aware that she was wearing a tiny skirt with no underwear. Puck knew it wasn't funny to her, but for someone watching her walk away, she looked hilarious. He waited until she turned a corner before he smirked with amusement.

"Why is Rachel walking like she has a stick up her orifice?" Kurt asked from beside her and then he gasped covering his ears with his hands, "Wait do I really want to know?"

Puck rolled his eyes.

"We're not that kinky Hummel, let's just say Berry is missing something," Puck said mysteriously and there was a snort from the other side of him.

"Her dignity from dating you?" Santana suggested in a teasing tone and Puck rolled his eyes again. He really needed new friends. His current ones thought that it was okay to mock him because they knew that his girlfriend had him whipped and that was not cool.

"Ouch San, that burns," Puck said mockingly nudging her and Santana just shrugged her shoulders smugly and strolled to her next class meeting up with Finn further down the hallway. Finn waved at them absently before wrapping an arm around Santana and walking to class.

"So seriously, what's wrong with our diva?" Kurt asked frowning never having seen Rachel look so flustered and uncomfortable. It was downright weird.

"I lost her underwear," Puck admitted sheepishly and Kurt did a double take at him before shaking his head. Girl on boy action; gross.

"Sorry I asked," Kurt said making a face, then he took a deep breath and said what he really wanted to say, "So I wanted to talk to you on behalf of Mike."

"Oh yeah?"

"We would like it if you and Rachel kept what you saw to yourselves as Mike isn't sure if he is ready to come out of the metaphorical closet just yet," Kurt said quietly making sure that no one overheard their conversation and Puck gave a smirk.

"Kurt, we aren't going to rat on you and Mike," Puck said honestly but then he shrugged a little embarrassed, "but I'd really like your help getting Rachel's underwear back."

Puck knew that he could just go and beat up Jacob Ben-Israel to make him give back Rachel's panties but Rachel also abhorred (her word, not his) violence and he didn't want to piss her off today of all days. He would rather be getting some action than listen to her berate (again her words) him for his less than gentlemanly actions.

"Well who has them?" Kurt asked hesitantly wondering why Puck needed his help. If Kurt was with him Puck knew that he would at least be able to attempt to stop Puck from kicking Jacob's ass.

"Jacob Ben-Israel," Puck said quietly and Kurt's eyes widened.

"That's mission impossible, he's probably wearing them right now," Kurt said dismissively. That particular thought hadn't crossed Puck's mind yet but as soon as Kurt said it, it was clear that was a definite possibility. Jacob Ben-Israel really was that desperate.

"Eww..." Puck groaned rubbing his face to try and get the image out of his head.

"I know," Kurt said soothingly patting Puck on the back and Puck looked up and happened to see Jacob Ben-Israel skirting by. Puck grabbed Kurt by his collar.

"C'mon Kurt I need your help," Puck said jerking his head in Jacob' Ben-Israel's direction and Kurt sighed with resignation hoping that this wouldn't ruin his manicure. If it did he would send Puck the bill.

"Fine."

* * *

Getting Rachel's underwear back from Jacob Ben-Israel hadn't been too difficult. At first Jacob had refused to co-operate until Puck held him down and Kurt started chopping off Jacob's massive jewfro. Jacob gave up Rachel's underwear to him pretty quickly after that. Satisfied that he was an awesome boyfriend Puck met up with Rachel before her last class of the day and pressed her panties into her hands. Rachel looked down at the article of clothing in her hands then back up at Puck with that adoring look he loved so much. Puck was definitely back in the good books, which meant, he could possibly get some after all.

"Hey babe, want to thank me in my truck?" Puck asked waggling his eyebrows and Quinn and Artie walked by and seeing the familiar look on Puck's face Quinn mimed gagging while Artie chuckled. Puck flicked them both the finger.

"But we still have one more class today," Rachel protested weakly and when Puck just gave her this pout look Rachel gave in with a sigh.

They were indulging in a heavy make out session moments later on the back seat of Puck's truck. Rachel didn't bother putting her underwear back on and right now she was straddling him across his jeans while kissing him. Puck's hands crept under her skirt towards his goal when there was a loud knocking on his window. He and Rachel both looked up and saw Coach Sylvester glaring at them from outside of his car. Rachel jumped off Puck at super speed and Puck sat up and wound down his window in a leisurely fashion.

"What did I tell you two about sucking each other's faces in front of me?" Coach Sylvester barked glaring at them both and Rachel bit her lower lip.

"It makes you want to vomit and we are forbidden to touch each other within fifty feet of you unless one of us were dying," Rachel recited what Coach Sylvester had forced them to learn the time she caught them under the bleachers and Coach Sylvester nodded.

"Correct, now stop touching each other and get to class before the steak I had for lunch regurgitates out of my mouth," Coach Sylvester spat at them and Rachel nodded grimly.

"Yes Coach Sylvester."

Coach Sylvester stormed off and Rachel hopped out of Puck's truck thoroughly embarrassed as she quickly slid on her underwear.

"Berry; you, me, your house after school," Puck propositioned her from where he was still seated in his back seat.

"I love it when you're all romantic," Rachel said sarcastically rolling her eyes before she turned and flounced away. Puck stared after her fondly. God he loved this woman.

* * *

Rachel barely opened the front door before Puck tackled her into the house and pressed her up against the hallway wall. His fingers tangled in her hair as he kissed her passionately. He had been craving this all damn day and now he was finally going to get some. Rachel's parents finished work at five which meant that they had at least half an hour before they got home, and Puck only needed twenty minutes tops to have her screaming his name.

"I cannot wait to get you out of those clothes," Puck murmured against her lips as his hand slid under her skirt to grab her behind. He hoisted her up to sit on his hips and Rachel's legs wrapped around his waist automatically.

Someone cleared their throat loudly and Puck released Rachel in surprise and she fell in an undignified heap to the floor. Puck turned to see Rachel's dad's standing there, arms folded with impassive looks on both of their faces. Puck was done for. They were going to chop him into small pieces and bury him in their back yard.

"Ow," Rachel moaned softly from where she sat on the floor and Puck realised what he had done and bent down to haul her to her feet but Rachel was already starting to stand up and their heads knocked painfully hard.

"Ow," they both groaned in unison as Rachel fell back to the floor while Puck grabbed his forehead wincing. He took a step backwards but tripped on the upturned hallway rug and fell flat on his butt beside Rachel.

That sat Rachel's dads off. They started laughing so hard they were nearly crying as they grabbed their jackets and eased into them.

"And he calls himself a stud," Joseph commented to his partner as they calmly stepped over the two teenagers to head out to dinner for Valentine's Day.

Puck and Rachel locked eyes as Rachel's dad's pulled out of the driveway tooting their horn and waving as they left.

"What the heck just happened?" Puck asked in disbelief and Rachel eased herself to her feet slowly.

"That, was a seldom heard, but much feared, daddy burn," Rachel laughed at his expression and Puck jumped to his feet and slammed the front door closed making sure to lock it.

"Berry," Puck said her name gruffly and Rachel stopped laughing, a confused look coming to her face at his sudden anger and then Puck broke into a smile, "Shut up."

With that Puck threw a giggling Rachel over his shoulder and raced to her bedroom. There was nothing that was going to stop him from getting Valentine's Day sex now.

* * *

**AN: So Puck finally gets his girl for some 'good times' on Valentine's Day! Hurray for Puck!**

**The line about the daddy burn is sort of based off an episode of That 70's show where Eric's nanna does a grandma burn to Donna I think it was. I tried to remember it word for word but it might be a little off.**

**I've got another chapter half done which is, In Which Puck Gets Rachel Drunk. But I think I am going to try and finished Falling into Darkness, then do another chapter of Make Me Forget before I work on the rest of that chapter.**

**OMG, I'm going to see Spring Awakening and Wicked all in the one weekend. Yes people; 19th Feb is Spring Awakening and 20th Feb is Wicked! I am flying down to Sydney especially to watch them. I am so freaking excited! I hope the Australian Cast is as good as the American. If any of you Aussie's have seen either yet (well Wicked specifically because Spring Awakening doesn't open until the 04th Feb) let me know what you thought!!!!!!**

**REVIEW!!!**


	17. In Which Puck Gets Rachel Drunk

**AN: OMFG Have you Puckleberry Bitches seen this? Seriously, crap in a gigantic hat I'm so excited. I'm hoping that it doesn't mean they are only together for the one episode again though because that would be very disappointing. Sounds like they are still writing the back nine so anything can happen! Plus Kurt gets a boyfriend in Season 2!! Yay for Kurt, I wonder if he will be as hot as my Adam from 'Make Me Forget'? LOL**

**"Murphy told EW that fan favorites Rachel (Golden Globe-Nominee Lea Michele) and Puck (Mark Salling) will re-ignite their brief romance for another episode in the back nine. Murphy shared that they "just finished [writing] a special episode where they are together, and they have two numbers together. It's episode 4, 'Bad Reputation.'"**

**Also I didn't reread this as much as I usually do most chapters so excuse any mistakes or sentences that don't make sense. I'm dying to go watch Grey's Anatomy.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

**In Which Puck Gets Rachel Drunk**

Puck leaned back in the poolside deck chair and let loose a loud burp. Drinking beer always made him a little gassy. He made a mental note to cupcake Finn later, that would be hilarious. He knew from previous experience that Rachel didn't find cupcakes funny in the least.

"Burps are funny!" Rachel giggled from where she sat on his lap but then she grimaced as she accidentally inhaled his burp, "But they smell really bad."

Rachel started waving the air in front of their faces to get rid of the smell and Puck had to laugh. His girlfriend was a super funny drunk. When she was sober she used all these big words that he didn't understand half the time but when she was plastered she became...normal. In fact, she had a hard time thinking up words that were longer than two syllables. Brittany's parents had gone to Dutchland or wherever the hell they were from to visit relatives and had left Brittany in the care of her twenty-one older brother Tom. It hadn't taken very much persuading for Tom to let them have an after party after their Invitational, which they rocked by the way, and it took even less to persuade Tom to buy them drinks of the alcoholic variety. Tom was a simple soul, you buy his beer you can do whatever the heck you like. This year was turning out to be a good one, Rachel was adamant that they would win Regional's and Nationals this year. Puck turned to look around the backyard at his fellow Gleeks.

Matt and Mercedes were in a dark corner making out. Matt had finally got the balls to ask Mercedes to date him just before Invitational's so now they were making the most of their newfound couple status. Mike and Kurt were in the pool having a fight against Finn and Santana; for a girl Santana was pretty violent and hell bent on winning. Kurt actually looked frightened of her. Brittany and Tina were slow dancing together and making out every so often. Watching two girls make out had sort of lost its novelty now that they saw it all the time. Quinn and Artie were sitting with Puck and Rachel as they drowned a couple of beers and wine coolers. Well Quinn, Artie and Puck were still drinking; Rachel had been banned by Puck after she sculled his beer then asked when water started coming in brown glass bottles. Rachel laid her head down on Puck's shoulder and Puck thought she must have been coming down off her high.

"She does not look good," Artie commented inspecting Rachel's face closely and Rachel poked her tongue out at him playfully sitting up straight.

"I look great Artie, G-R-A-T-E," Rachel spelled out incorrectly and then she jumped to her feet excitedly, "I could so be a cheerleader!"

Rachel started jumping on the spot throwing her hands wildly in the air and kicking her legs in the air in an attempt to imitate the cheerleader high kicks. Puck watched her with amusement wishing that he had a video camera to capture this. Maybe when she was sober he could get her to perform for him again but this time in a tiny little skirt. She was wearing jeans right now, thankfully, but Puck really missed seeing her tanned legs.

"Give me an R!" Rachel yelled at the top of her lungs with one hand on her hip and the other in the air, a fake smile on her face.

"R!" Brittany responded eagerly from the other side of the yard and Quinn slapped a hand to her face. Rachel was her best friend, but she was also a prime example of why not everyone could be a cheerleader.

"Give me an A!" Rachel twisted imaginary pompoms in front of her before performing a star jump.

"Don't encourage her," Santana said dryly and Rachel pouted at the lack of support she was receiving. Brittany didn't want her to be let down so she ran over and stood next to her.

"A!" Brittany cheered copying Rachel's star jump.

"Give me an...umm...what was I spelling?" Rachel turned to Brittany who shrugged.

"I don't know," Brittany replied and Rachel scratched the back of her head before smiling brightly.

"I'm sure we were excellent whatever it was we were spelling."

Quinn poked Puck's arm threateningly as Rachel and Brittany shared a celebratory hug for spelling two letters of Rachel's name.

"If she barfs anywhere at home you are cleaning it up," Quinn threatened him gesturing to Rachel and Puck smirked. Quinn had started referring to Rachel's house as 'home' and he didn't even think she noticed. It was weird that at the beginning of last year Rachel and Quinn hated each other and this year they were living together and pretty much best friends. Of course a lot of crazy things had changed from last year to this year. Himself and Rachel were a prime example; actually come to think of it, all of the couples here today were unexpected. Puck grabbed Rachel around the waist and pulled her back down onto his lap and Brittany flounced back to Tina.

"I won't spew; I don't have a gag reflex right Noah? And Miss P said that is a good thing," Rachel slurred loudly grinning at Noah and Artie choked on his drink while Quinn's mouth dropped open. Rachel noticed that the whole party had gone silent at her announcement and all the boys were staring at Puck somewhat enviously.

"What?"

Puck just gave a satisfied grin. That's right boys, she belonged to him.

"Hey let's play twister!" Brittany cried out running into the house and the other girls and Kurt cheered happily starting to follow her inside.

"I love twister! I'm very good at playing twister because I am so flexible" Rachel squealed jumping to her feet then she turned to Puck again, "I can put my legs behind my head can't I Noah?"

"You sure can babe," Puck confirmed lecherously and Artie coughed again but averted his eyes when Quinn glared at him. Rachel grabbed Quinn's arm and dragged her into the house chattering loudly. Matt and Finn came over to Puck who was still just sitting in the deck chair basking in his own glow of sex godliness and Artie who was staring at Puck with quiet adoration.

"Dude," Matt said in awe staring after Rachel which, when decoded into guy talk, meant _'your girlfriend would be a freak in bed'_.

"Yup," Puck said proudly which translated into _'Your damn right she's a freak in the sack'_.

"Dude," Finn said shaking his head. That meant _'You are one lucky bastard'_.

"Yeah," Puck agreed nodding his head. _'I am a super lucky bastard'._

"Rachel would be a freak in the sack," Artie said aloud exactly what the guys were silently talking about and even Finn and Matt rolled their eyes.

Puck considered punching Artie in the arm but Artie had only just started spending a lot of time with the guys so he had yet to refine his skills of 'guy talk' seeing as Kurt had been his only guy friend back in the original Glee Club and Kurt wasn't exactly fluent in 'guy talk'. Puck decided to let it slide this one time.

They all walked into the house with Matt pushing Artie to find the game of twister already started and Santana and Quinn were pressed up against each other with Mike squished in between them. Rachel was sitting on a couch pouting and Kurt whispered to them that Rachel had fallen over straight away knocking down Tina which was why Tina was death glaring her. The guys turned their eyes back to the game of twister curiously.

"That is totally wasted on him," Puck nodded towards Mike, referring to the fact that Santana's boob was mashed into Mike's face while Quinn's head was exceptionally close to his nether region but Mike didn't even notice because he was smiling goofily at Kurt. While Mike and Kurt hadn't officially come out to the others, they all knew that Mike no longer swung with the ladies.

"What I would give to be Mike Chang right now," Matt said in what he thought was a soft voice while he pressed his hands together in mock prayer.

"What did you just say?" Mercedes voice came booming into the conversation and all four boys froze and turned to face her but Mercedes was completely focused on Matt, "Why would you want to be Mike Chang right now?"

Finn and Puck felt sorry for their friend but they were not about to ride the Mercedes train of wrath along with Matt. He had dug himself into this hole and he could dig his way out. Finn and Puck tried to edge away careful not to draw her attention. Mercedes raised an eyebrow.

"Well?" Mercedes prompted her grip tightening around her strawberry daiquiri and Matt turned panicked eyes to Finn and Puck. Puck felt a tug in his chest, and he could practically see Angel Rachel on his shoulder telling him to help his friend. Ahh, screw it.

"Because Mercedes, he has the best position to win the game," Puck said his tone indicating that it was Mercedes and not Matt who was in the wrong, "he doesn't have to crawl over the girls to get to each spot."

"Winning is really important to us guys," Finn added trying to sound convincing.

"Yeah," Matt added lamely and Mercedes narrowed her eyes but seemed to accept his answer so Matt decided to turn on the charm, "Come on brown sugar, you know you're my girl."

Mercedes smiled and gave him a brief kiss on the lips before moving to sit with Kurt to watch the twister game. Puck looked over at Matt.

"Brown sugar?" Puck asked teasingly and Finn and Artie started laughing.

"You really going to make fun of me hunny bunny," Matt asked revealing the nickname that Rachel called Puck. Puck's eyes widened in panic. How the heck did Matt find out about Rachel's nickname for him? Finn and Artie started laughing even harder at the look on Puck's face so Puck looked over at Artie and narrowed his eyes.

"Stop that pookie," Puck snapped at Artie who immediately stopped laughing and looked down at the ground embarrassed. Puck gave himself a mental high five for the first time thankful that the walls between Quinn and Rachel's rooms were pretty thin. Now Finn was the only one really laughing and Artie looked up at him, glad that Quinn and Santana were friends because they liked to gossip.

"Like you get a better pet name muffin," Artie chuckled and Finn snapped his mouth shut realising that none of them were as manly as they liked to appear.

The guys all inspected each other closely before Finn held out a hand in the centre of their circle.

"Truce on the pet names?" Finn offered and the other guys quickly placed their hands on his in agreement.

"Deal."

Puck decided it was definitely time to move on from this awkward moment.

"Next time you put your foot in your mouth I'm going to watch you go down in flames," Puck threatened Matt who just grinned widely.

"Left hand, green," Brittany squealed and all three players moved but Santana and Quinn went for the same dot and ended up in a heap leaving Mike the winner. Rachel and Tina demanded that they play another game and Finn, Matt, Artie and Puck edged out of Rachel's vision as they weren't really that keen to play. It was much more fun watching the girls, especially when their tops hung open like they were doing now as Brittany started the next game. After a couple of minutes the guys were getting bored.

"Wanna have a pissing contest?" Matt asked them and they all shrugged having nothing better to do. The four boys made their way out to the backyard to one of Brittany's hedges and lined up in a row. They all prepared themselves.

"Ready, set, go!" Finn did the countdown and then the race was on.

Puck was concentrating hard to make it last. Wining a pissing contest was a fine art, plus Finn was a giant and he had a lot of body space to hold the liquid, he would be a tough opponent. Mike came stumbling out of the house and saw them all standing against a hedge recognising the familiar stance.

"Hey pissing contest wait for me!" Mike cried out hurrying to the hedge nearly falling in. He took a spot next to Finn and joined into the fray. It looked like Artie was going to be the winner and each of the guys was trying to coax themselves a little more when Mike said something that killed the mood.

"I think I might be gay," Mike announced completely buzzed off his head. All four boys stopped peeing and turned their heads to look at him but Mike was frowning thoughtfully before he grinned happily and reiterated, "Actually I'm sure I'm gay."

"Dude; not the coolest thing to say when we all have our junk out," Puck muttered uncomfortably twisting his body a little and Mike laughed at his assumption.

"Please, I'm not gay for any of you," Mike assured him and Puck, Artie and Finn relaxed quickly resuming their business while Matt frowned at his friend.

"Why not?" Matt demanded a little offended, and Puck rolled his eyes.

"Hey Matt," Puck called out and when Matt turned to him Puck gave him a glare, "Shut up you idiot."

Mike finished his business and waited patiently for the rest of them to finish.

"So, you guys are cool with me being gay?" Mike asked a little hesitantly and Finn clapped a hand down on Mike's back.

"You can be whoever you want to be Mike, we will support you whatever you choose because you are our friends and friends support each other no matter what," Finn gave his usual 'I'm such a great guy' speech and Mike smiled at him thankfully.

"Hey Finn you gonna grow some boobs to go with the pussy you seem to have acquired?" Puck asked him making use of words from Rachel's vocabulary and Finn blushed bright red and punched Puck's arm which led to a mini scuffle as they tried to get each other in a headlock.

"I'm ready to come out on Monday and I just want to know..." Mike tried to talk over them and Puck released Finn and looked over at Mike.

"We got your back Mike," Puck assured him, but he couldn't resist teasing, "But not in the way you want."

"You're an asshole," Mike growled at him blushing furiously and Puck shrugged before nudging Mike with his shoulder.

"I don't want to know where you like it Chang," Puck quipped laughing and the others all started laughing as well while Mike just glared. Puck held up his hands in surrender, "Sorry, okay, no more gay jokes."

"Thanks guys," Mike said softly, really meaning it and the four guys all nodded at each other before heading back into the house.

The first thing Puck noticed was that his girlfriend was absent.

"Where's Rach?" Puck asked Quinn who knocked back a jelly shot before answering.

"Toilet."

Puck ran down the hallways and into the bathroom to see Rachel hunched over the white toilet bowl. She twisted her head when she heard the door open and gave a small lazy smile.

"I think I vomited in my hair Noah," she said blankly shaking her head and Puck's face became one of disgust as he saw the liquid in her hair.

"That's gross babe," he said coming to sit on the tiles beside her and Rachel turned her head back to the toilet bowl feeling a wave of nausea rush over her. Puck rubbed her back absently.

"I know," she murmured hanging her head into the toilet and groaning.

Puck sighed and leaned over further grabbing her vomit stained hair in his hands and pulling the dripping tendrils back from her face so that the next time she yakked her hair wouldn't be in the way. Her next wave came two seconds later and he held back her hair and tried not to breath in. When she was done Rachel sat up and clumsily wiped her mouth with her back of her hand the way drunk girls did when they just didn't have the energy to care.

"You held my hair back," Rachel said in wonder, then she rattled off one of her random facts while staring up at him with her 'crazy eyes' that Puck loved so much, "I read that if a boy holds your hair back while you vomit its true love."

"If you read it somewhere it has to be true," Puck told her sarcastically but she didn't pick up on the fact that he was mocking her. Instead she gave a fond smile thinking he was being sweet.

"You love me," she slurred backing away from the toilet to sit with her legs pulled up to her chest and Puck gave a smirk.

"You knew that already."

"But you love, love me," Rachel repeated nodding her head in time with each of her words a knowing smile coming to her lips.

"I don't see how repeating the word makes it any different," Puck retorted wondering where she was going with this drunken conversation.

"You 'marry me' love me," Rachel mumbled poking his chest grinning up at him and Puck was momentarily stunned.

"Did..did you just pro...propose to me?" Puck stammered in disbelief, though he had to say he wasn't really surprised.

He figured in the future if anyone was going to be proposing it would be Rachel proposing to him since she was well known for being impatient; he just didn't think that she would propose to him drunk off her ass, with vomit in her hair, while they were in High School, in Brittany's bathroom. Rachel shook her head.

"No, I'm just saying, you 'marry me' love me," Rachel tried to explain it to him but in her inebriated state, it made less sense than it would have if she used her big words. Puck paused to try and decode her drunk talk.

"You mean like I want to marry you one day love you?" Puck asked her, thinking that must have been what she was getting at and Rachel smiled proudly.

"Yup," Rachel chirped looking completely adorable. And she was completely right.

Puck wasn't sure if anyone was supposed to feel this way when they were in high school but the way he felt about Rachel now was something he had never felt before. He did want to marry her one day. He actually had a couple of dreams about marrying her and not all of them were the dirty kind, although he did enjoy the dirty kind. Some of them were just him and Rachel on a beach; him in a suit, her in a white wedding dress saying 'I do'. The dirty kind were really good too, they involved in the back of the limo, or up against a wall at the reception, but Rachel was always wearing her white wedding dress.

"To be honest I've thought more about banging you while you were wearing a wedding dress than marrying you but I guess it means the same," Puck admitted trying not to sound completely lame and also hoping that by tomorrow she would forget they ever had this conversation. He didn't need her holding another embarrassing thing over his head along with her 'hunny bunny' pet name.

"You are a big softie Noah Puck-a-man," Rachel mispronounced his last name, slurring her words, as she gazed up at him fondly, "but I'm glad you're my softie."

Her lips puckered and she closed her eyes expectantly for a kiss and Puck just grimaced looking down at her. Sure he loved her, but there was no way in hell he was kissing her spew mouth. Seriously. No way.

"Rach, you need to brush your teeth at least three times and down a bottle of mouthwash before I kiss you," Puck told her sternly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Rachel pouted then she laughed as she held her head over the toilet feeling slightly nauseous again.

"Noah Puck-a-man, you know what that sounds like? It sounds like Noah Fu..." Rachel started singing into the toilet.

Puck didn't want to hear the rest of that sentence for the sake of his manhood so he flushed the toilet in her face startling her and she glared at him furiously.

"Noah!"

* * *

**AN: I'm posting this in honour of the good news that Puckleberry is back baby, and that Mark and Lea will finally sing songs together! I can't wait to find out what they are singing together, maybe Hate That I Love You?**

**ANYWAYS REVIEW!!! Since this is a celebrating The Return of Puckleberry Chapter!**


	18. In Which Rachel Suffers a Hangover

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Wish I did but I don't.**

**AN: I saw a pic of Matthew Morrison with no shirt on and I swooned. I had no idea that Matthew Morrison was packing such a rocking bod, and I now have a new appreciation of him. He's no Mark Salling but still... I vote Mr Shue have some 'no shirt on' scenes in Glee, they can write that in somewhere can't they? LOL**

* * *

**In Which Rachel Suffers a Hangover and Memory Loss**

Rachel awoke to a blinding light and a pounding headache. She groaned a little and shifted awkwardly finding herself in Brittany's bathroom sitting between Puck's legs and lying back against his chest on the cold, hard tiles. Rachel pressed a hand to her forehead as memories from the night before flashed through her head, not in any particular order either. This is why she will never drink again, but at least the night was good reference for any future roles she may come across in her career playing an underage drunk teen. She could feel Puck waking up behind her and she twisted her head to look up at him. He has this smile on his face, like a dazed morning smile.

"I hate you," she growled at him like it was his fault that she felt this awful and Puck just grinned.

It was kind of his fault. He was the one who pointed out that life experience was essential to being a good actress and then told her that meant she had to experience getting hammered at least once in her life. Rachel had a sneaking suspicion he just wanted to see her drunk, but she had no proof; yet.

"You love me," he replied teasingly unfussed by her declaration of hate. Berry was crazy for him; that was common knowledge. And why wouldn't she be, he was a stud.

Rachel groaned and stood up before stumbling over to the sink to look at her reflection in the mirror. She almost wished that she hadn't, because she nearly scared herself. Her mouth tasted like cardboard that someone had thrown up on. Rachel tried to smooth down her hair then she grabbed the toothpaste and squeezed some directly onto her tongue swishing it around to get rid of the bad taste in her mouth. Puck stood up and stretched then took the toothpaste and did the same. Rachel spat out the remaining toothpaste and washed her mouth out before splashing her face with some cold water. She felt at least part human now. Puck spat out his excess toothpaste then grinned at her, dropping his head to brush a kiss to her lips.

"So when are we planning the wedding for?" he asked casually and Rachel gaped at him in the mirror.

"Excuse me?"

"You proposed to me last night," Puck stated smugly and Rachel closed her mouth and glared at him, thinking he was joking with her. Her hands came to her hips.

"I most certainly did not," Rachel huffed haughtily though she didn't sound as sure as she wanted and Puck grinned.

"Yes you did."

"Really?" Rachel asked hesitantly and Puck nodded wondering if Rachel would really believe him. It would be hilarious to laugh at her later. Rachel closed her eyes to try and focus and a little flash of her saying 'marry me' to Puck popped into her head. Rachel opened her eyes and pressed a hand to her chest, "Oh my god, I'm engaged."

While Rachel stared at her reflection and silently freaked out Puck screwed up his face for a second then hesitantly sniffed the air. Rachel saw him sniffing and frowned in confusion before the smell infiltrated her nostrils.

"Noah!" Rachel turned and smacked him on the arm. No one in fairytales or movies ever mentioned that the boyfriend of your dreams liked to pass wind at least three times a day, and liked to make you smell it no less. Puck chuckled, happy with the smell that he excreted while Rachel started gagging.

"Man, when I take a dump today it's going to be nasty," Puck commented grimacing in anticipation and then he grinned excitedly, "I'm gonna go cupcake Finn, this shit is too good to waste."

Puck completely forgot to tell Rachel that he was just joking about the marriage as he crept down the hallways searching for Finn.

"Noah, we have to talk about this engagement," Rachel hissed storming out of the bathroom to find Mercedes and Quinn standing outside the door. Both girls stared at Rachel and Puck was nowhere in sight.

"Did I hear right? You're engaged?" Mercedes asked incredulously and Rachel looked down at her feet nervously.

"Apparently I proposed to Noah last night," Rachel replied and Mercedes and Quinn started laughing. Rachel's eyes flashed with annoyance, "You needn't think this is so funny."

"You want to marry Puck right?" Quinn asked her and Rachel nodded without hesitation. She loved the big lug and she did want to marry him...at some point in her life but her dreams of marriage did not include a proposal by her when they were both still in high school.

"Eventually, but not when we are still in high school. We are only seventeen for goodness sakes," Rachel held her hands in the air helplessly not knowing what to do about this.

She could tell Puck that she was retracting her offer but he had seemed so happy this morning that she knew she wouldn't be able to break his heart by halting their engagement. Quinn just laughed and pulled Rachel into a hug and Mercedes joined in the group hug still giggling. Santana and Kurt wandered into the hallway and both raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"What did we miss? I can smell the gossip," Kurt demanded excitedly and before Rachel could tell them to keep it a secret Mercedes opened her mouth.

"Rachel and Puck are getting married!"

_And they call me trout mouth_, Rachel thought tossing her hair back haughtily. Rachel was appalled by Mercedes inability to realise when something was meant to be a secret. Although it was Kurt and Mercedes couldn't keep anything from him. Rachel shot her a withering glare that Mercedes and Kurt both ignored.

"Oooh juicy," Kurt squealed quietly grabbing Mercedes and running into the bathroom, locking the door behind them and then Kurt yelled out, "Gross Rachel, there is vomit all over the place."

Rachel folded her arms across her chest refusing to dignify the statement with a response.

"Holy shit, I always knew you two would be the first," Santana smirked knowingly and Rachel just hung her head unable to comprehend how everyone could be so calm about this.

Someone gave a muffled scream and Santana, Quinn and Rachel ran into the living room to find Puck holding Finn down with his hand covering Finn's nose and mouth. Rachel could only hazard the guess that Puck had finally completed the 'cupcake' he was dying to give Finn earlier.

"Take it bitch!" Puck yelled grinning wickedly as Finn turned red looking like he was about to run out of oxygen and Rachel looked over at Quinn and Santana.

"That's what I'm marrying," Rachel stated in disbelief pressing a hand to her forehead wondering how she got herself into these situations.

"At least he's good looking, you can have cute Jew babies," Santana tried to make her feel better and Rachel just shook her head.

Puck noticed the three girls standing there and waved with his free hand, still suffocating Finn with his other hand. Rachel just turned and stalked away and Puck finally let Finn up. Finn gulped in precious air before turning to Puck.

"You're an asshole," he hissed glaring at him and rubbing his nose trying to forget the awful stench he had experienced and Puck just grinned.

"Guilty."

Matt and Mike came stumbling into the living room pushing Artie along as well. They were all yawning tiredly.

"What's up with Rachel?" Artie asked having passed her in the hallway. She had glared at him and muttered something about _'men being ridiculous creatures with brains the size of peas; if indeed men had brains at all_'. Matt and Mike collapsed onto the couch while Finn and Puck remained sprawled out on the floor and Artie remained in his chair.

"Hangover man, my girl does not know how to hold her drink," Puck said chuckling at the memory of her from the night before.

Puck belatedly realised he had forgotten to tell her that the marriage thing was a joke but he figured there was no way she would take him seriously. She was smarter than that, she knew when Puck was messing with her; well Puck hoped she knew he was messing with her. Whatever, he would tell her it was a joke later if she remembered. Puck tensed his body for a second, his face not giving anything away. Finn turned to Puck slowly and his face twisted into a grimace. Puck smirked.

"Puck quit it!" Finn yelled punching Puck in the arm before retreating to a part of the living room that was not infected by Puck's gas. Matt and Mike caught a whiff and retreated and Artie wheeled himself backwards as far as he could go. At one point or another they had all been subjected to Puck's love of his own stench and no one wanted to experience it again.

"Dude, I think I nearly crapped myself, I gotta go to the can," Puck said suddenly bolting for the bathroom and Finn silently thanked the God's because he was seriously about to barf. Matt sniffed the air hesitantly.

"Hey can you smell that?" Matt asked them and they all rolled their eyes at him.

"Dude don't sniff it more," Mike nudged Matt a little disgusted that their friend was willingly sniffing the rancid Puck air in the living room.

"No, it's pancakes," Matt said earnestly sniffing the air some more and the others decided to give it a try and the smell of freshly made pancakes filled the air.

"To the kitchen!" Artie cried out and the boys abandoned the living room for the kitchen, and more importantly, the pancakes.

* * *

Tina and Brittany were cooking in the kitchen when Quinn, Mercedes, Santana and Kurt herded Rachel into the kitchen and sat her down at the table. Tina flipped a pancake expertly and Brittany decided to give it a go and flipped one into her face. Tina smiled fondly at her.

"Why don't you let me cook, you can set the table?" Tina suggested and Brittany pouted but wiped the remaining pancake off her face and started rummaging around in drawers.

Mike, Matt, Finn and Artie came walking and rolling into the kitchen, following the delicious smells and found Rachel with her head on the table and the girls and Kurt crowded around her looking like they were about to burst with excitement.

"What's going on?" Finn asked grabbing one of the glasses of orange juice that Tina had placed on the table before everyone woke up. She was taking the role of hostess very seriously even though it wasn't her house. The other guys followed Finn's suit, each taking a juice.

"And when will those be ready?" Matt asked practically drooling as he stared at the mound of pancakes that Tina was cooking. Everyone ignored Matt's question because Quinn blurted out exactly what was going on.

"Rachel and Puck are engaged!"

Finn, Mike, Matt and Artie all spat their juice onto the kitchen table and Tina's pancake that she was flipping went awry and landed on the floor. She didn't even notice.

"I call planning the wedding," Kurt declared slamming the kitchen table with his fist.

"I call maid of honour," Quinn followed him quickly, then grinned with content.

"Bridesmaid," Tina, Mercedes and Santana called out quickly, and then glared at each other.

"Oh, can I be the bride?" Brittany asked excitedly and Tina just shook her head at her girlfriend. Rachel finally lifted her head from the table.

"Brittany, I'm the bride," Rachel informed her slowly and Brittany frowned at her.

"But I want to be the bride too," Brittany replied wondering when it was that Rachel had gotten so mean. Rachel groaned in frustration.

"Can we not talk about this please?" Rachel begged and the others could see she was about to either cry or freak out and so they let it go, even though they were dying to discuss details.

Kurt looked over at Mercedes and mouthed 'yellow bridesmaid dresses?' to which Mercedes nodded approvingly. Brittany passed out plates and they all piled their plates with pancakes smothered in maple syrup and started to dig in, except Rachel who felt she couldn't possibly eat at this moment in time. They heard a toilet flush and then the heavy footsteps as Puck approached the kitchen and everyone fell silent for his entry.

"No one go into Brittany's bathroom for like an hour," Puck warned everyone as he walked into the kitchen and Kurt started humming 'The Wedding March' under his breath.

"Dum, dum da dum, dum dum da dum."

Everyone bar Rachel smirked into their pancakes while Puck, who was completely obvious to what was going on around him, grabbed a plate with pancakes and started tucking in. He noticed everyone staring at him and paused shovelling food into his mouth.

"What?" he asked his mouth full and bits of pancake fell onto the table. Everyone was completely silent for a moment and then Finn finally spoke, being the male lead and all.

"Congratulations dude," Finn said slapping him on his back, grinning.

"Uh...thanks," Puck said wondering why Finn would be congratulating him for taking a dump, but then again, Finn believed that forks grew in his garden so it wasn't that hard to believe, "But it's not like I wasn't expecting it after all the drinking we did yesterday."

"Well we certainly weren't expecting it this soon," Kurt said giving a chuckle and Puck couldn't believe how interested everyone was in his bowel functions. He looked over at Rachel who looked incredibly pale.

"Yeah, my body breaks things down pretty quick," Puck said dismissively getting back into his pancakes and the others all exchanged understanding glances.

Yes they all knew Puck's body was irresistible, they couldn't blame Rachel for caving and asking him to marry her, the thoughts of having Puck's body forever would break down anyone's defences. It was then that Rachel snapped.

"How can you be so calm about this?" she demanded slamming her palms on the table as she stood up and Puck wondered what the heck had crawled up her ass this morning. All he did was go to the toilet. He was sorry he stunk it out but the smell would go away eventually.

"Because it's all over, it's a relief," Puck tried to explain that he did actually feel much better now, but he figured that he better apologise before Rachel lectured him the whole way home so he turned to Brittany, "I'm sorry it had to happen in your bathroom Brittany but it needed to happen."

"You needed to get engaged to Rachel?" Quinn asked starting to get the feeling that Puck was talking about something completely different and Puck choked on his pancakes.

"Whoa, what are you all talking about?" Puck asked getting to his feet in a panic and Mercedes pointed first at Puck and then Rachel.

"You and Rachel, getting married," Mercedes said this slowly so that Puck's brain could comprehend and Puck was stunned for a moment and then he realised what had happened.

He turned to Rachel and smiled. Puck loved her, and of course he had thought about marrying her, but he was so not ready to get hitched in high school. That was just weird.

"Babe I was joking, you didn't propose last night, you were just saying that I 'marry you' love you," Puck assured her feeling his racing heart slow and Rachel breathed out a huge sigh of relief. That did sound like something she would say, though not as inarticulately as Puck said it.

"You were just joking?" she asked timidly and when he nodded, her relief turned to annoyance that he had strung her along letting her freak out without telling her it was a joke, "Well what were you just talking about?"

"My bathroom visit," Puck told her simply and Rachel just stared at him with a look that clearly said 'you are an idiot'.

"You thought Finn was congratulating you for going to the bathroom?" Rachel asked incredulously and Puck just shrugged. It sounded a lot more stupid when someone said it out loud than it did in his head although; stranger things had happened.

"So what exactly does 'marry me' love me entail?" Quinn asked curiously, a wicked grin on her face and Puck grabbed a pancake and threw it in her face, which incited 'The Great Pancake War of 2010'.

They were never allowed a party at Brittany's house ever again.

* * *

**AN: I realised not everyone understands my Australian slang and grossness lol. If you are confused as to what a 'cupcake' is, it's where you pass wind into your hand and then cup your hand over someone's nose and mouth forcing them to either breathe it in through their mouth or smell it. I know teenage boys do it because I grew up with two older brothers who thought it was hilarious to cupcake me all the freaking time. And also lock me in our cubby house that had no windows with a stink bomb...my brothers love me they really do.**

**I was going to use the term AGB (After Grog Bog) to describe Puck's toilet excursion but I found out that it was just an Australian term...maybe the world will catch on one day LOL For those who have no idea what an After Grog Bog is.  
****After = After (yeah pretty hard to understand I know lol)  
****Grog = Alcohol  
****Bog = Crap  
****I know what you're thinking, this story is starting to stink and has really gone down the toilet.....Yes I've delved into toilet humour and lame puns but seriously, I kind of thought it was funny LOL I do have that odd sense of humour though.**

**REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT! I promise the next chapter will have no mention of passing wind or toilets. But Puck does mention balls on a keychain...it will be called In Which Rachel Finds Her Mother...which is a pretty self explanatory chapter lol. I love Idina and now I want her in my story, well her character anyway even though I don't know her name. Wait I lie...I do mention the toilet in the next chapter...LOL something for you all to look forward too. haha**


	19. In Which Rachel Meets Her Mother

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**AN: Enjoy! Usually I read these ten billion times before posting but I was lazy so if any mistakes...well you will just have to guess what the line is supposed to say hahaha. Suckers. Jokes. I love you all, and you know it.**

* * *

**In Which Rachel Meets Her Mother**

Puck had never been more bored in all his life. Well, actually, one time Rachel and her dads had made him sit through a silent movie, so maybe this was the second most boring moment of his life. Silent movies sucked ass. Carmel High were having their own Invitational and Mr Shue had decided it would be a good idea for the Glee kids to go again and check out their competition. Last year at Regional's McKinley had come fourth to Carmel's first place so there was a rivalry brewing. Luckily it was interval and Puck had sent Rachel to the candy bar to get him something to eat while he sat with the guys. Puck knew that the others tried to say Rachel had him whipped but he had her well trained as his candy and food girl, Puck figured it was an even trade. Suddenly Matt punched his shoulder.

"Red alert Puck, some guy is chatting up Rachel," Matt whispered loudly and Puck immediately sat up straight.

Finn and Mike were glaring over Puck's shoulder and Santana looked up from her magazine completely bored and took in the cute boy talking to Rachel before returning her eyes to the magazine. Everyone else was either at the toilets or at the candy bar and Santana had gotten stuck with the boys; she felt herself getting dumber by the second.

Puck turned to look for his girl and sure enough there was a fairly tall, slim boy talking to her at the candy bar. The boy was the male lead for Vocal Adrenaline, and Puck really did not like the way he was looking at his Berry. Puck stood up and flexed his muscles in a leisurely fashion.

"Do you need backup?" Mike asked getting to his feet and shrugging his shoulders a couple of times as though warming himself up. Puck shook his head as he glanced over at his opponent. The guy was taller than him but Puck had the 'Guns of Puckerone' at his advantage and the guy looked like a strong wind could blow him over.

"I can handle this, I am all over this like Karofsky's mom on a cupcake," Puck replied confidently and Finn stood up and clapped a hand down on Puck's back supportively.

"Roger that," Finn confirmed and Finn and Puck punched fists before Puck did the same with Matt and Mike.

"Idiots," Santana muttered under her breath not looking up from her magazine.

Puck rolled his shoulders calmly before strolling over to where Rachel was in conversation with the Vocal Adrenaline lead.

"I just think a voice that is as wonderful as yours deserves to be somewhere it is appreciated, with a Glee club that can keep up with you vocally," Puck heard the male lead say to Rachel as Puck came within earshot but neither Rachel nor the lead noticed him. Rachel tossed her hair haughtily.

"Thank you for your concern Lucas and, of course, I am flattered by your admiration of my vocal ability but I am quite happy at McKinley and I must decline your generous request to join Vocal Adrenaline," Rachel told him briskly spinning on her heel preparing her patented storm off but she walked right into Puck's rock hard chest. She bounced off him and fell back into the male lead whose hands gripped her waist to steady her. Puck saw red. No one touched his Berry especially not some dick lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline.

"Get your hands off my girlfriend before I remove them for you and shove them so far up your ass you will be able to tickle your own throat," Puck growled warningly and Lucas paled and let go of Rachel so abruptly that she fell forward into Puck again. Rachel huffed audibly, annoyed at being thrown around like a ragdoll as she pushed herself off Puck and smoothed out her clothes.

"Noah please, there is no need for such crass threats," Rachel scolded him and Puck gaped at her. Didn't chicks like their men standing up for them? Well, see if he ever did anything romantic for her again.

"No need for such threats? He was trying to poach you, and he touched you," Puck pointed out gruffly, feeling emasculated by her chewing him out in front of the guy he was trying to intimidate. Puck figured for her next birthday he may as well just give her his balls on a keychain.

"Well then shame on you for not believing that I am completely committed to the McKinley Glee Club and thinking that my head could be turned by such flattery," Rachel snapped at him, poking his chest for emphasis and Puck stared at her blankly before a lecherous grin came to his face.

"Babe, I only understood 'head' out of that sentence and now I'm a little turned on," he leered at her wiggling his eyebrows and Rachel rolled her eyes both teens forgetting that they had an audience. The male lead shifted awkwardly clearing his throat and Rachel and Puck turned to him remembering that he was standing there listening to everything they said.

"I apologise; it was not my intention to grope Rachel unnecessarily and I hope that I did not offend you, it was certainly not my intention to encroach upon your territory and I can assure you that I am not in any way attracted to Rachel in a romantic sense," the male lead apologised to Puck respectfully and Puck was taken aback at how much he sounded like Rachel. It was quite weird frankly. Rachel sighed deeply pressing a hand to her forehead in frustration.

"Lucas McMillan, this is my boyfriend Noah Puckerman," Rachel perform the introduction and Lucas held out his hand to shake as Rachel explained, "I've known Lucas since we were children as his parents went to college with my dad's."

Puck reluctantly shook hands with Lucas who then wiped his hand on his pants like he thought Puck's hand was dirty. Puck hid a grin. Puck went to the toilet before and hadn't washed his hands. Take that Lucas McMillan, that'll teach him to touch Rachel.

A woman in her forties, dressed impeccably came hurrying towards them, her gaze completely focused on Lucas. She was fairly small in stature with ebony hair pulled to one side, expressive brown eyes, and a strangely familiar face.

"Lucas you should be backstage...oh my," the woman stopped in her tracks and stared at Rachel. Rachel stared right back at her. For Rachel it was like staring into a mirror that made her a forty year old woman. Puck glanced back from one to the other in awe, seeing the startling resemblance between his girlfriend and whoever this broad was. Lucas too was looking confused and surprised all at the same time.

"Noah, Rachel this is our director Miss Dumand," Lucas hurried to perform the introduction then he turned to his Glee director to complete, "Miss Dumand this is Rachel Berry, the female lead for New Directions and a member of New Directions Noah Puckerman."

The woman, Miss Dumand, jolted at her name and managed a brief smile at Puck before her focus moved back to Rachel.

"Berry?" she repeated blankly and when Rachel nodded, Miss Dumand enquired further, "Is your father Joseph Berry?"

"Yes, one of them, my other father is James," Rachel managed to reply and Miss Dumand gave a soft smile. Puck couldn't believe how much she looked like Rachel when she smiled.

"I knew your dad's in college," Miss Dumand was staring closely at Rachel and then she held out her hand to shake, "it's nice to meet you."

Rachel took her hand and shook it then Puck did the same.

"You too Miss Dumand," Rachel said softly and the two females parted. Lucas and Miss Dumand headed backstage while Rachel collapsed back onto Puck's chest. That was the strangest thing Rachel had ever seen, that woman looked exactly like her.

"Are you related?" Puck asked nodding his head in the direction of Miss Dumand and Rachel peered around him to watch her walk away. Miss Dumand turned to look back at her and gave a small wave.

"Not that I know of," Rachel murmured, frowning with concentration, "I feel like I have seen her somewhere before, I just can't place her."

"You look so much alike its freaky," Puck stated the obvious, then he changed the subject to the one he really wanted to talk about, "So this Lucas kid, you've been friends since you were kids?"

Rachel could practically see the curiosity and jealousy brewing behind Noah's hazel eyes and she laughed shaking her head.

"Not friends, we are acquaintances by way of our parents. He actually irritates me so much I've considered lighting myself on fire. He is always talking down to me, and he has a fit when things don't go his way, and he is self centered and he always talks about himself," Rachel began listing off his faults and Puck started laughing. Rachel huffed forgetting her elder look alike and folded her arms across her chest demanding, "Why are you laughing?"

"Babe, he's basically you with a penis," Puck pointed out to her and Rachel gasped at his statement completely offended.

"I resent that comparison," Rachel snapped then for good measure she stomped on Puck's foot and strode back into the auditorium. Puck grinned after her. He loved it when she was all feisty, that meant make up making out or even sex later on in the back seat of his truck.

"Rachel wait up," Puck called out as he chased after her grinning madly.

* * *

A couple of hours later Puck pulled up at Rachel's house and the two teens strode into the Berry house with their arms wrapped around each other having made up in Puck's truck after Carmel's Invitational just as Puck had planned. Joseph and James let Puck stay over until 11pm, and since it was only 10pm, Puck still had an hour to try and get into Rachel's pants while making sure her dad's didn't suspect what was going on in her room.

"Did you say anything to her?" Joseph's voice came from the study sounding serious and very unlike him. Of Rachel's dads he was the more relaxed of the two. Rachel frowned and pulled Puck behind her as they eavesdropped at the study door.

"Good. Rachel is only just starting to fit in at school, the last thing she needs is more stress in her life."

Rachel pressed her ear against the door and Puck checked his watch. 10.05pm. Only 55 minutes to give Rachel the best sex of her life. Puck pointed to his watch impatiently and Rachel poked a finger at him warningly. Puck sighed and leant against the closest wall almost pouting. _The longer they stood here the less foreplay for her so it was Rachel's loss,_ Puck told himself sulkily.

"No, you carried her and gave birth to her but she is my daughter, mine and James'."

Rachel froze and her brown eyes flashed to Puck. Holy shit. Joseph was talking to Rachel's birth mother. Rachel's birth mother who must have been close by to Rachel today for Joseph to ask her mother if she'd said anything to Rachel. Puck thought back to the Vocal Adrenaline Director who looked freakily like Rachel. No freaking way.

"Yes, she is beautiful."

Rachel's eyes widened as she came to the same conclusion Puck did. Of course, it was so obvious now that they knew. The way Miss Dumand had looked at Rachel, the way she reacted when she heard Rachel's dad's names.

"I'll have to talk to James about that, I don't know if adding you to her life will make it harder for her. We will discuss and let you know."

Puck reached over and took Rachel's shaking hand as she silently freaked out. Rachel had spoken to her mother, they had touched hands; her birth mother had been right there in front of her and Rachel hadn't even known.

"Bye Miranda."

Rachel pushed open the study door abruptly and Joseph jumped as he slammed the phone down turning to face her. He looked guilty. Puck had a feeling shit was about to hit the fan.

"Dad, is there something you need to tell me?" Rachel asked him slowly, her voice surprisingly calm and collected and Joseph gave a weak smile that wasn't fooling anyone.

"No baby, why would you think that?" Joseph asked her and Rachel stared at him, willing him to tell the truth but he remained firm.

"I met a woman who looks a lot like me today," she informed him, just waiting for him to confess but Joseph pasted on a surprised look.

"Must be a coincidence," Joseph commented wanting to avoid this conversation but Rachel couldn't let it go. She had to know.

"She's my mother isn't she?" Rachel asked persistently and when Joseph hesitated that was all it took for the truth to come out. Joseph took a step towards her to hug her but Rachel took a step away from him, "My mother has been in Lima all this time and you never thought to include her in my life."

"It was part of the agreement, she was paid well to be a surrogate, nothing more," Joseph tried to argue with her but Rachel shook her head, not hearing his argument. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop any tears from escaping.

"But I'm a part of her, and she wants to know me I heard your conversation," Rachel pointed out and Joseph sighed deeply running a hand through his hair.

"Baby, she may biologically be your mother but your daddy and I are your parents and we have to decide what's best for you," Joseph tried to explain again but Rachel shook her head adamantly.

"I want to know her," Rachel demanded saying the words that Joseph had been fearing all her life. Joseph didn't want to lose his baby girl. Rachel glared at him, "That's why you didn't let me go to Carmel High isn't it? You were afraid I would see her and know."

Rachel turned on her heel and ran from the study leaving Puck standing there with her weeping father. Puck took one step backwards towards the door and then another thinking that he had succeeded with his escape plan when Joseph walked towards him and hugged him sobbing onto Puck's shoulder. Puck gave the older man a limp pat on the back. Rachel owed him a lot of sex for this.

* * *

The next day after driving across town Puck strode into the Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal and stood there arms folded as Miss Dumand turned to see who interrupted their rehearsal. Puck knew she recognised him instantly as the boy with her daughter because her face lit up hopefully and her eyes searched for Rachel but Rachel wasn't with him. Puck had decided to do this on his own. Miss Dumand called a break and walked over to him.

"What's your deal?" Puck blurted out in what he hoped was an intimidating voice.

He had listened to Rachel cry all night last night about how cruel her father's were for hiding her mother from her all this time, and now not letting them see each other and Puck wanted to find out if Rachel's mother was worth all of Rachel's tears. Rachel had been hurt badly in the past and Puck knew that some of that hurt fell on his shoulders so he was damned if he was going to let someone hurt his girlfriend. He had decided to drive to Carmel and talk to Rachel's birth mother to find out what she wanted from Rachel.

"I beg your pardon," Miss Dumand blinked at him blankly in a way that reminded Puck of Rachel.

"I said what's your deal? Rachel is my girl and I don't like seeing her upset so if you are coming into her life with the intent to upset her or cause trouble within her family I'm going to have to respectfully ask you to back the hell off," Puck said this with a friendly smile but his tone was anything but. Miss Dumand looked at the ground.

"I can't have any more children," she told him and Puck's mouth dropped open.

Awkward. This was so not the conversation he pictured having on the drive here.

"I always thought I would have another child but I can't fall pregnant, I can't have another baby. Rachel is all I have; she's all I will ever have. Joseph and James had me sign the custody agreement, I signed her away because she wasn't mine to keep but I thought about her all the time. I was just waiting, hoping that one day she would contact me and want to know me. Meeting her last night was fate; I know she already has parents and I don't want to take that from her, I just want to be her friend," Miss Dumand gave her speech and Puck raised an eyebrow.

She seemed sincere enough, those big brown eyes just like Rachel's filling with unshed tears. Puck caught a glimpse of Lucas standing in the background watching them and his defence was back up. What if she was trying to lure Rachel to the dark side? What if all this was an act; a ploy to get Rachel to go to Carmel?

"She's not going to change schools and go to Carmel just because you're her mother," Puck told her bluntly and Miss Dumand gave a little chuckle at his forwardness.

"I would never ask her to, and her father's would never allow it," Miss Dumand reminded him seriously and Puck scratched the back of his head.

"So you really just want to be her friend?" Puck asked, finding the whole situation a little anticlimactic.

"I do," she confirmed giving a smile and Puck shrugged.

"If it's any consolation Rachel wants to get to know you as well," Puck told her and Miss Dumand's eyes brightened hopefully.

"She does?"

"Yeah," Puck said and then he handed her his cell, "Type your number in there and if Rachel wants to call you she will. She's resourceful; she'll find a way around her dads."

"Thank you, I'm glad to know my daughter has such a caring boy looking after her," Rachel's mother, Miranda Dumand, told him thankfully giving him back his cell and then pulling him in for a hug. Puck gave her a brief nod and then he exited the auditorium.

Rachel was standing on her front porch when he pulled up later that afternoon. Rachel ran to his truck and as soon as he opened the door her lecture started,

"Where have you been? It's Saturday, you usually pick me up at 4pm on Saturday for dinner at your mother's but its 4.30pm and I've left you six missed calls and you haven't called me back and..."

Puck mashed his lips against hers briefly cutting her off.

"I got something for you," he whispered looking up at the house in case her father's were watching and Rachel immediately became curious. Puck was a good boyfriend, but he wasn't one for grand gestures or gifts, no matter how many times Rachel wrote him essays on how girls loved those two things. Rachel had learned with Puck to pick her battles.

"What is it?" Rachel asked him and Puck bundled her into his truck and slammed the doors behind them then he fumbled on his cell before handing it over to her.

"Your mother's number, you can call her if you want," Puck explained and Rachel looked down at the name Miranda Dumand followed by her cell number. Rachel stared at the phone for a moment then looked up at Puck with adoring eyes unable to believe that he had gone to all this trouble for her.

"You went to Carmel to get her number for me?" Rachel asked her voice choking with emotion and Puck shrugged, secretly pleased by her reaction. He didn't really know how to show Rachel that he cared about her; his specialties were beating people up and...Well basically just beating people up so it was nice to be able to do something for her that didn't involve him bruising his knuckles.

"You're my girl, I'd do anything for you," Puck told her in a moment of honesty that later he would deny actually occurred and Rachel flung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. Puck commended himself on a job well done of taking care of his girlfriend.

"It just so happens I've got something for you too," Rachel whispered in his ear seductively and then her tongue flicked out to trace his ear and Puck's nether regions pulsed with anticipation as Rachel promised, "I'll give it to you in your room later tonight."

Puck grinned. He was so the man.

* * *

**AN: Yeah no idea where I'm going with this. Anyone have any requests?? I don't have any ideas yet for another chapter so this may just stay like this for a while.**

**REVIEW!!!**


	20. In Which Puck Throws Lucas In A Closet

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even Mr T lol**

**AN: Thank you so much for all your wonderful ideas and I am sure I will end up using all of them so keep an eye out for yours eventually.**

**AN2: Have you guys seen the video on Cory Monteith's twitter? It looks like Mercedes and Kurt become a part of the Cheerio's!! OOOOOOO Spoiler alert :) Which would explain why they are in the Madonna song Vogue with Sue Sylvester in the Madonna episode. If someone has watched it, is the guy on the left Jonathon Groff? If so...damn...he fine...too bad about all the good ones being taken or gay (he's gay right? LOL) I hope Rachel joins the cheerios too, I would love that. **

* * *

**In Which Puck Throws Lucas In A Closet**

"Good afternoon Noah," Joseph greeted Puck warmly as he strolled into the Berry living room to find Joseph and James watching television.

Ever since Joseph had his breakdown regarding Rachel's mother he had been treating Puck as the greatest thing that happened to their family. Puck didn't mind, Joseph baked him a carrot cake as a thank you. Puck gave them both waves.

"Hey Joseph, James; Rachel around?" Puck asked looking around for the familiar head of brown hair and James shook his head.

"Upstairs in her room with Lucas," James informed him and Puck looked horrified before he tore up the stairs to Rachel's room like the devil was on his heels. Joseph looked over at his partner with disapproval while James was grinning widely.

"That's not funny," Joseph lectured him sternly, "You know that Noah will go up there acting like the alpha male and embarrass himself spectacularly."

"He is just too easy to bait," James laughed at Puck's expense. Joseph swatted his partners shoulder half seriously before they burst into laughter looking forward to hearing the tale from their daughter later.

Puck approached Rachel's door and listened intently for any sounds that would tell him if there was anything untoward going on in Rachel's room. Untoward; jeez Puck was starting to sound like her now. His hands felt hot and sweaty. He knew Rachel wouldn't cheat on him but he couldn't stop getting that feeling that if she was it would be karma for him and the own Finn and Quinn situation.

"Oh Lucas you're right, this feels so much better," Rachel moaned from inside her room sounding content and Puck couldn't believe what he was hearing. That little singing bastard was going to have his ass handed to him ten ways till next Sunday if he was touching Rachel in any way, shape or form. Puck placed his hand on the doorknob ready to confront them.

"I can't believe I've never tried it this way before," Rachel's voice came from behind the door again and Puck threw the door open preparing to see Rachel and Lucas intertwined.

They were intertwined just not with each other. They were both sitting on the floor cross legged and had their arms stretched in the air. Puck just gaped at them until he saw how Rachel's outfit looked like a second skin and how Lucas must have been checking her out because that's what Puck would do if a hot girl was wearing next to nothing. Puck grabbed Lucas by his...was this dude wearing a leotard? Puck grabbed him up by the stretchy outfit he was wearing and promptly threw him into Rachel's closet. He would deal with Lucas later, right now, he needed to lay down the law to his girlfriend, his main point of business; no weird work out sessions with old boy 'friends'. Rachel jumped to her feet and placed her hands on her curvy hips waiting for an explanation.

Puck turned back to face her and licked his lips as his eyes trailed down and up her body twice over appreciating the tight clothing. Shit, now he forgot what he was supposed to be saying. Something about laying...something...down...which was coincidentally what he wanted to do with Rachel right now. He definitely wanted to lay her down and do things to her, nice things...

Luckily Rachel had no problem remembering what they were about to discuss.

"Noah there is no need to overreact, Lucas and I were merely practicing yoga," Rachel told him coolly and Puck shook his head regaining his senses and he folded his arms across his chest.

"I don't want you hanging around that guy," Puck commanded gruffly and there was a knock from inside the closet.

"I'm right here and my name is Lucas," the boy called out indignantly from inside the closet and Puck growled and slammed a fist on the door.

"Shut up before I shut you up," Puck threatened him and Lucas fell silent. Rachel let out a giggle and Puck turned to her wondering what the hell she could find funny about this situation.

"You're jealous of Lucas?" Rachel asked him in disbelief and Puck swore he heard a snicker from inside the closet. Puck shifted his feet uncomfortably. Studs did not get jealous of extremely talented male vocalists who got to spend time in his girlfriend's room wearing tight lycra.

"No," Puck snapped self consciously and Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Then you don't trust me?" Rachel posed it as a question and Puck knew from the look in her eyes that one wrong answer would lead to the banning of goodies and a lecture where Rachel would continuously poke him in the chest. He was ripped but there was only so much chest poking Puck could take.

"I do its just..." Puck didn't know how to explain that he wanted her to belong to him and he worried that other boys would try and take her away from him because she was that awesome and he didn't deserve her. Rachel raised an eyebrow to prompt him to continue.

"Rachel you can tell him," Lucas called out from the closet and Puck gave a frustrated growl and banged on the closet door again.

"What did I say punk?" Puck yelled at the door and Rachel grabbed Puck's arm and tugged him away from the closet turning him to face her.

"Noah, stop, listen to me, Lucas is lady fabulous," Rachel said slowly hoping that he would understand and Puck frowned.

"Isn't the fact that he is good with the ladies even more of a reason for me not to want him around you?" Puck asked her incredulously, his face turning murderous at the realisation that this ladies man was in a room unsupervised with Rachel. Rachel sighed and took his face between her hands so that they were looking in each other's eyes.

"Noah, you are not understanding me, Lucas is Kurt fabulous," Rachel said this even more slowly and it took a few moments for Puck to really understand what she was saying. And then Puck felt monumentally stupid.

"Oh," Puck scratched the back of his head with embarrassment. Rachel was giggling at him and Puck rolled his eyes, "How was I supposed to know? It's not like I'm built with a gaydar."

Rachel just started laughing harder and after a moment Puck laughed as well pulling her close for a chaste kiss. The chaste kiss turned into a not so chaste kiss as Puck manoeuvred her onto the bed and he fell on top of her trailing kisses down her neck. Rachel sighed with pleasure, her small hands running the length of his body.

"May I be excused from the closet now?" came a timid voice from the closet and Puck rolled off Rachel reluctantly but remained lounging on the bed. Rachel sat up and primped her hair.

"Yeah, come on out of that closet," Puck invited him with a smirk thinking how clever his play on words was. Lucas pushed opened the closet door looking thoroughly flustered and smoothed down his hair. Noticing Puck's smile Lucas rolled his eyes.

"The irony of this situation is not lost on me Noah," Lucas deadpanned and Puck shuddered at his use of 'Noah'. No one called him Noah except Rachel, his mom, his sister and Rachel's dad's.

"Call me Puck," Puck told him and Lucas wrinkled his nose with distaste but nodded his affirmation that he would call Puck by his grotesque nickname.

"Why are you here anyway? I thought you weren't friends," Puck asked still a little suspect about Lucas although now that he knew the boys orientation the unitard he was wearing made sense. Lucas scoffed at the idea that he and Rachel were friends in the exact same way that Rachel did.

"We aren't, she's drilling me for information on her newly discovered mother and I get a yoga partner," Lucas informed Puck as he knelt down to roll up his yoga mat sensing the class was over for today.

"You told him?" Puck asked Rachel surprised that she had just freely revealed the information to someone she didn't consider her friend and Rachel shook her head.

"He knew," she said shrugging and Lucas stood up, yoga mat in hand.

"My parents went to college with Rachel's dads and Miss Dumand, they knew and told me," Lucas reminded Puck as he floated over to Rachel's bathroom and shut the door behind him. The shower started and Puck frowned, surprised at how comfortable Lucas had made himself in the Berry home. Puck was definitely going to have to set up some boundaries with this guy, he didn't care if he was gay, no dude was spending more time with his girlfriend than him.

"Have you called her?" Puck asked pulling Rachel to lie with him and Rachel lay on her side and rested her head onto his chest.

"Not yet," she said softly, her small hand tracing patterns on his chest absently, "I want to know her, but I also want my fathers to approve. I'm sure they will come around eventually but I don't want to push them."

Puck kissed her forehead gently. His girlfriend was always thinking of others first, it was one of those things that he loved about her. Lucas came out of the bathroom wearing clean clothes with a towel wrapped up onto his head. Puck couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that Lucas was gay before.

"By the way Rachel, your wardrobe is still as atrocious as ever, knee socks went out with the nineties," Lucas said airily as he strolled over to her dresser and inspected her moisturiser. Choosing one Lucas began to slather his face with it. Puck sat up ready to do battle for his girl against the Vocal Adrenaline mixture of Kurt and Rachel all wrapped up into one person.

"Hey, I think she looks mouth watering," Puck protested and Lucas paused his smearing to look back at him judgementally.

"Of course you would, look at your ridiculous haircut, it's almost like you fit so well together because you both have no sense of style," Lucas said dismissively and Puck narrowed his eyes.

"My haircut is badass," Puck stated firmly.

"Keep telling yourself that Mr T," Lucas retorted smartly.

Puck glared at him. Was this guy seriously mocking him and comparing him to Mr T? Because Puck was sure he was way better looking, though Puck did have to concede Mr T did have him beat in the guns department.

"Are you mocking me?" Puck demanded getting to his feet and Rachel rolled her eyes grabbing his hand and tugging him to sit back down on the bed.

"I wouldn't dare, in fact I pity the fool who would dare mock you," Lucas said sarcastically and Puck looked over at Rachel who was trying to hide her smirks behind her hand.

"Rachel, I'm going to kick his ass," Puck warned her clenching his fists and Rachel let out a laugh.

"Let me walk you out Lucas," Rachel said politely as she started leading the way back downstairs to avoid any arguments breaking out. She knew how sensitive Puck was about his haircut.

"Ciao Mr P," Lucas threw over his shoulder to Puck along with a brief flutter of his fingers and Puck followed Lucas and Rachel down the stairs glowering at Lucas' back the entire time. Puck wanted to make sure the dude was gone.

They waved goodbye to Lucas from the front door; well, Rachel waved goodbye, Puck gave him the finger. The two teens shut the door and their eyes met.

_Bedroom. Make Out. Now._

They both grinned at the same time and made a dash for the stairs but they were stopped by Joseph's voice.

"Sweetie can we talk?"

Puck wanted to bang his head up against a brick wall but settle for cursing mentally. The world just kept continually cockblockinhg him. James came to stand with Joseph.

"We are inviting Miranda over for dinner," James informed them and Rachel beamed excitedly happy to have gotten her own way.

"Really?" she asked hopefully and Joseph looked saddened by the fact she was so eager.

"If that's what you want," Joseph said quietly and Rachel noticed how her answer affected her dads, mainly Joseph.

"I do want that," Rachel confirmed but then she walked forward and pulled her two dad's into a joint hug as she continued, "But I also want you to know that I'm not looking for another parent. I have two wonderful father's and I couldn't ask for anything more. You're my dad's for better or worse and no one could ever hope to replace you."

Rachel's dads got that weepy look in their eyes and Puck tried to back out of the room to avoid what he knew was coming next but he wasn't fast enough. Joseph pulled him into a Berry group hug and Puck hung there limply in Joseph's arms wondering when he had become such a pansy.

* * *

**AN: This sort of matches Through Darkness' request for jealous Puck. I'm working on getting Mrs P back into the mix.**

**sweetcaroline1986: The Rachel, Puck, Miranda and Rachel's dad's scenario will have to come up soon. I might add Mrs Puckerman in there as well just for giggles because Through Darkness misses Mrs P**

**shiningstar07: Thanks for your review babe, I already did a slight Valentine's day themed one. It's the In Which Puck Gets Caught.**

**Super Jammin Carrot: In Which Babygate Might Be Twice. This one will definitely occur. I actually flirted with the idea in my head so it's definitely coming.**

**wickedglee: Freaking awesome ideas. I particularly like In Which Puck and Rachel talk to others with That 70's Show theme. I just need to work out what they will talk about lol. I've got all the seasons of That 70's Show so I will do some research and come back to that one. I think the earlier seasons have funnier circles.**

**Thanks for all the support guys! I really need it while I put the finishing touches on the last two chapters of Make Me Forget. I'm very sad that its ending. Only one more paragraph to fix up before its ready to be beta'd. Then only one chapter to go *cries* what will I do now??**

**REVIEW!**


	21. In Which Puck Hosts A Circle

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**AN: Circles are very hard to write...it's even harder to write people being stoned. Of course I don't advocate smoking the reefer but for the purpose of this chapter because it was 'That 70's Show' inspired there is a lot of pot smoking. Sorry if it offends.**

**There is also three white boys trying to sing Baby Got Back, Artie serenading a Twinkie, and Matt making elopement plans with Mercedes utilising the rainbow unicorn.... yeah it gets a weird lol brace yourself.**

* * *

**In Which Puck Hosts A Circle**

Finn, Puck, Matt and Artie sat in Finn's basement around a small coffee table. They had decided to have a long overdue 'session' and since it was Artie's first time they had initiated him into the circle by letting him smoke the first joint. After that it was a free for all and it was pretty safe to assume all four guys were well and truly stoned. Puck knew he was pretty off his face, he was trying to focus on Finn who was sitting across from him at the table, but all Puck could notice was his nose for some reason and how it looked abnormally small on Finn's giant head.

"I need to talk to you guys about something but; you can't say anything to anyone," Matt spoke up looking serious, emphasising the 'but' dramatically and Artie chuckled.

"But...but...butt...that's a funny word," Artie commented completely disregarding the fact that Matt was trying to reveal something important. Puck rubbed his eyes with his hands wondering why the wall behind Finn kept swaying side to side; or was it Finn who was swaying?

"Dude Berry will kick my butt if she knew about this," Puck moaned worried about the ass kicking he was sure to received from his tiny girlfriend if she ever found out that they had decided to delve into typical reckless teenage behaviour. Finn shook his head.

"Stop worrying about Rachel, she'll never find out," Finn assured him smiling widely, though Finn wasn't looking at Puck he was looking at a spot above Puck's head. Puck swivelled in his seat to glance behind him as Finn asked, "Does that painting look crooked to you?"

Puck paused for a moment to take in the painting hanging behind his head. It was sort of abstract and Puck remembered that Finn's mom had painted it when she went through her artsy phase back when he and Finn were twelve.

"Yeah, I can fix that," Puck agreed reaching up and tilting the picture until it looked straight to him and then he looked over at Finn for the okay.

"Yeah that's perfect, thanks Puck," Finn said holding out his clenched fist for a fist bump that Puck eagerly returned.

"No probs dude."

Finn looked down at his hands and his mouth dropped open.

"Dude my hands are huge!"

"Understatement of the century bro," Puck replied shaking his head. It took Finn until now to realise that he was a giant?

Matt rolled his eyes. He wasn't as baked as the other three and he really needed to talk to someone.

"Hey I need to talk to you guys about something but you can't say anything to anyone," Matt told them and then paused; he was having a weird feeling of déjà vu just now, like he had said that line before only he didn't remember saying it. Weird. Artie started laughing, still obsessed with butts.

"_I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung," _Artie started rapping and Finn and Puck automatically started bopping their heads along to the beat. Artie pointed at Puck for him to continue which Puck did without hesitation.

"_Wanna pull up tough, cause you notice that butt was stuffed, deep in the jeans she's wearing, I'm hooked and I can't stop staring,_" Puck gestured for Finn to take over and Finn stood up dancing to his own rapping in a way that had Puck and Artie gasping with laughter. Finn was the epitome of a 'white boy' as Mercedes would say and hearing him rap was just freaking hilarious.

"_Oh baby I wanna get with ya, and take your picture, my homeboys tried to warn me but that butt you got."_

"_Makes me so horny!"_ Artie, Finn and Puck cackled in unison putting on girl voices and then they all looked expectantly at Matt for him to continue the song but he was glaring at them with his arms folded across his chest. The song was abruptly cut off by Matt's lack of participation.

"Party pooper," Artie muttered under his breath and Finn got the giggles, covering his mouth with his giant hand. Matt sighed deeply and Puck started laughing as well, not entirely sure what he was laughing at.

"Guys this is serious, Mercedes and I, we had sex," Matt blurted out loudly and Artie, Puck and Finn stopped laughing and gaped at Matt in shock. There was a prolonged silence that followed and Matt blushed bright red.

"No way did she let you hit that," Puck finally spoke up dismissing Matt's outrageous claim which wasn't really that outrageous because anyone with eyes could see that Mercedes was tits over ass for Matt. It was still fun to stir Matt's shit though.

"She did," Matt huffed not appreciating being called a liar.

"You lie," Artie cried out picking up on the joke Puck was playing on Matt who didn't seem to realise they were teasing him.

"No she really did, we totally did it, look at my face, I'm not lying," Matt pointed to his face and then looked at each of them desperately willing them to believe him. All three boys pretended to inspect Matt's face closely before Finn slammed his hands down on the coffee table.

"Holy shit he did it," Finn conceded reaching under the table to grab a packet of chips.

He was getting a serious case of the munchies. He ripped open the packet and starting shoving as much into his mouth as possible. Seeing Finn with food reminded Artie of the box of Twinkies he had in his bag and Artie produced said box with a flourish rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Congratulations," Puck slapped Matt on the back as his way of saying, '_that's my boy', _and then he stole a Twinkie from Artie and shoved the whole thing in his mouth much to Artie's dismay. Luckily he had a whole box of them_._

"I was so nervous because she was a virgin and Santana is the only other girl I've slept with so I didn't really know how to act," Matt pointed out resting his elbows on the table and placing his head on his hands revealing way more information than they were expecting.

"Santana is pretty good in the sack," Puck added his comment absently, though he added silently, _but Rachel is way better_. Finn nodded in agreement.

"Yeah she is."

There was a pause as Finn suddenly realised that three out of the four guys sitting at this table had been with his girlfriend. It was kind of depressing how much they all swapped partners. Matt spoke up again.

"I've never been someone's first time before, what if I screwed it up?" Matt asked with a frown, worry written across his face.

"In this case 'screwing' anything up is a good thing," Puck replied lewdly waggling his eyebrows and Matt punched him for not taking this conversation seriously enough.

Finn wasn't even paying attention as he tipped the remains of the chips directly into his mouth while Artie was softly serenading his Twinkie.

"_You are so beautiful; to me...can't you see..."_

Puck knew he couldn't count on Finn or Artie to join this awkward conversation so he tried to be as serious and straight as possible for Matt.

"You know what I mean bro; most girls want their first time to be this magical experience, what if I ruined it for her?" Matt explained his fears and Puck let out a laugh.

"Dude, is she still talking to you?" Puck asked simply and Matt nodded.

"Yeah."

"Then you did all the right things, you used your powers of seduction for the greater good," Puck waved his hand dismissively at Matt getting bored by the conversation already.

"With great power comes great responsibility," Artie interrupted giving Matt a meaningful stare and Matt did a double take at the creepy smile on Artie's face before turning his attention back to Puck who had been the most helpful so far and also the only one who Matt knew had been with a virgin.

Well if you wanted to get technical Puck had been with three virgins that they knew of; Santana first, then Quinn and now Rachel. Matt stared at Puck and made a mental note to never let Puck near his future daughter. Sometimes Matt thought Puck had super powers, like a sex power where he could take a girl's virginity just by looking at her, Super Stud Strikes Again. Matt shook his head trying to remember what he had been talking about before he got distracted by daydreams of comic books starring the Super Stud.

"Rachel was a virgin right? Did she act weird after you guys did it for the first time?" Matt queried curiously not too stoned to realise bringing up Quinn or Santana would be a bad idea in front of Finn. It would be like a reminder that Puck got to both of Finn's girlfriends first and no one wanted to see Finn and Puck fighting again after they had just made up. Puck shrugged; uncomfortable with the turn of conversation.

"Not really, but we all know my girl is a special brand of crazy," Puck was surprisingly silent about the details regarding sex with his girlfriend. Mainly because, while Finn swore that he no longer had any romantic interest in Rachel anymore, Puck didn't quite believe him because Puck had seen the way Finn stared at Rachel when he thought no one was looking.

"But she enjoyed it right?" Matt continued his line of questioning and Puck smirked.

"Matt look at me, look at who you are talking to, of course she enjoyed it. she loved it so much we did it three times that night," Puck wore the grin that said he was 'the man', then he frowned wondering what Matt was trying to get at with all these weird and insanely personal questions, "Why are you so freaked? What exactly is Mercedes doing that is freaking you out?"

"Mercedes has been acting really strange. She's being nice man, like really super nice and just all over me. Usually she is all bossy and I like that about her but ever since we had sex she can't do enough for me, it's weird," Matt shrugged his shoulders, "I want the old Mercedes back."

Puck smirked. Matt liked being under Mercedes' thumb and having her tell him what to do. The guy was pussy-whipped way worse than any of the other guys. Puck stored that information away for another time.

"I say enjoy the power while it lasts," Puck advised giving a chuckle, "Once she realises that she has you under her control you will be at her mercy."

"I actually like the sound of that, being under her control," Matt gave a dreamy grin; "I love her you know, I'd do anything for her."

"Maybe you should tell her that so she stops freaking out," Artie chose that moment to join back into the conversation with his pearls of wisdom and Matt nodded his head.

They were right, Matt was going to tell Mercedes that he loved her and then they would ride away together into the sunset on that rainbow unicorn that was in the corner of the basement giving him the eye. Matt blinked his own eyes and shook his head. Whoa, he was tripping out majorly. Matt started laughing, which set off Artie who set of Finn until all three of them were laughing so hard that Matt fell off his chair. Puck rolled his eyes. Amateurs.

"What do you think the girls are doing right now?" Finn asked them, a goofy grin coming to his face.

"Having a sexy pillow fight in their underwear," Puck suggested and all the boys fell silent as they pictured the pillow fight starring their girlfriends.

"Man, girls get to do all the fun stuff," Matt pouted and the rest of the guys agreed wholeheartedly.

* * *

Due to the boys night Rachel and Quinn were sitting on Rachel's bed giving each other pedicures while Santana and Mercedes sat on the floor with Mercedes trying different hairstyles on the Latina. Contrary to guy belief they were wearing normal pyjamas and there were no pillows in sight.

"You know, Noah still thinks that when we have sleepovers we have sexy pillow fights in our underwear no matter how many times I inform him that is not the case," Rachel told the girls shaking her head. Boys had such vivid imaginations, Noah in particular.

"Finn thinks the same thing," Santana huffed with a roll of her eyes, "Boys."

Mercedes had been strangely quiet for most of the night but she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Matt and I had sex," Mercedes blurted out and Santana squealed with delight, swivelling from her position in between Mercedes legs so that they were face to face. Quinn and Rachel forgot all about their pedicures and both rolled onto their stomachs making sure to keep their toes in the air.

"Naughty and how was it?" Quinn asked eagerly wanted details. Her first time hadn't been all that memorable so it was nice to hear first time stories from someone who shared it with a boy that she was in love with.

"It was...fine," Mercedes was blushing bright red and looking at the ground.

"Just fine?" Santana demanded remembering that Matt was a pretty good lover from what she remembered. Santana couldn't believe Mercedes thought sex with Matt was just 'fine'.

"I can't really explain it," Mercedes muttered then she looked over at Rachel, "What was your first time like?"

Rachel was shocked at the straight forward question but didn't see any harm in sharing her experience. Santana and Quinn had already heard the lengthy version anyway.

"It was slightly painful, but that is to be expected according to my research. I also read that the more you do it the better it gets so I ensured that we participated in intercourse three times that night so that I could get used to the act itself, of course Noah put my eagerness down to his sexual prowess," Rachel explained the method in her madness and Quinn shook her head giggling. Rachel always made everything sound like a book report. Santana hadn't heard this part of the story before.

"So Puck doesn't know you were just letting him break you in that first night?" Santana asked trying not to laugh. Knowing Puck as she did, Santana knew Puck would have thought that Rachel had sex with him three times in the one night because he was 'the man'. Rachel was a little embarrassed.

"Of course not, it would wound his ego," Rachel gave them all a stern glare, "So I have to ask all of you to keep that knowledge to yourself."

"Scouts honour," Quinn promised holding up her right hand and Rachel sniffed.

"Besides Noah is very talented and if we do have sex more than once a night now it is definitely due to his sexual prowess," Rachel assured them and Quinn and Santana made faces at the thought of sex with Puck. Rachel was grinning to herself, lost in a reverie of Noah. Santana looked over at Quinn and mimed gagging and Quinn nodded turning her attention back to Mercedes.

"So you enjoyed yourself?" Quinn elaborated and Mercedes nodded.

"Yeah I did, like Rachel said it hurt a bit but once that was over it was...really good," Mercedes just didn't sound excited, she sounded as though something was bothering her.

"What's wrong?" Santana asked worriedly. She wanted more than anything for Matt and Mercedes to work out. They were the perfect combination together. Plus Matt was Santana's good friend and she wanted him happy. Mercedes sighed looking vulnerable which was weird in itself because Mercedes never looked unsure of herself.

"I'm not that girl you know? The one who becomes a simpering mess for her boyfriend and can't cope without him but ever since we had sex I've been super clingy and just insecure. I know Matt's noticed it because he keeps giving me these weird looks but I can't stop acting that way," Mercedes shrugged her shoulders frowning down at her hands, "Now that we've had sex I've got nothing left to keep Matt coming back."

Santana let out a bark of laughter.

"Slow down there Jones, firstly Matt is not the type of guy who only wants sex out of the girl and secondly; chin up girl, now you are the one in charge," Santana informed her confidently and Mercedes frowned while Rachel and Quinn listened in to the conversation smiling knowingly.

"What do you mean?"

"You're his girlfriend and Matt will want to be coming back for more, you get to decide when the candy shop opens and closes, you have all the power," Santana made complete sense and Quinn and Rachel were both nodding in agreement. They had all felt like Mercedes was feeling right now and thankfully they had Santana to tell them the good news that they wore the pants in the relationship.

"Girls are the ones in charge, girls wear the pants whether the boys know it or not, so stop being a pushover and take back control," Quinn cheered Mercedes who held her head up higher.

"You guys are right," Mercedes agreed a wicked smile coming to her face and Santana smirked confidently.

"Of course we are," Santana turned to Rachel, "Hey turn on the radio, battle of the bands is ending tonight and I want to know who wins."

* * *

Puck grimaced at the radio.

"What is this crap?" he demanded of Matt who had turned the radio on in the first place.

"It's a battle of the bands competition, you get a minute on air to play a song and then people vote," Matt explained hurriedly. He had been following this whole thing from the beginning, "The comp ends tonight, the winners get to record a single in a real studio."

"Man if we were in the comp we would so kick the comps ass," Puck said confidently.

"Yeah, I'd be drummer, Artie would be bass and Puck would sing lead and guitar," Finn listed out and Artie and Puck bumped fists.

"You guys should do it," Matt suggested excitedly. Matt could sing sure but he was mostly a dance man. He knew his three friends were super talented and he knew they would rock the crap out of the competition.

"We don't have anything prepared," Puck was the voice of reason and he sounded strangely like Rachel. For a second Matt pictured him in a short skirt and knee socks. This shit was weird.

"Let's just do it on the fly," Artie whooped rummaging for his guitar and Finn send a challenging look Puck's way.

"You're not scared are you Puckerman?"

Hell no Finn was not calling him out.

"Heck no, let's do this!" Puck declared getting to his feet and retrieving his guitar. Finn's drum kit was already in the basement so he just moved to sit down and rearranged his drums. Artie was already plugging his guitar into the amp and Puck started doing the same while Matt rang the station crossing his fingers that he would get through. He got through on the third ring.

"My friends want to join the comp," Matt told the announcer giving the guys the thumbs up as the three agreed to perform 'Mr Brightside' by The Killers. They had jammed to the song a couple of times before so they were pretty confident they could pull that or something like it off.

"Great, what are their names?" the radio announcer asked and Matt grinned.

"Noah Puckerman, Finn Hudson and Artie Abrams."

The three boys in question cheered loudly in the background making a loud racket and Matt gestured for them to shut up so he could hear the next question.

"And what is their band name?"

"Uh...," Matt panicked. Think Matt think. But all Matt could think about was the 'Baby Got Back' song they were singing earlier in the night about big butts. Which is why Matt decided that their band name would be, "The Butts,"

"..." the radio announcer went silent for a moment taking in the name, "Okay, well let's hear them."

* * *

Rachel came bounding down the stairs into Finn's basement followed by Santana, Quinn and Mercedes when she stopped in her tracks and inhaled deeply. Puck stood up guiltily and Rachel gasped in horror.

"Noah Puckerman have you been smoking illegal substances?" Rachel gave a scandalised whisper and Puck knew he was screwed but he had one more trick to try to avoid himself getting in trouble.

"This is not the one you are angry with," Puck said to her in a robot voice waving a hand over her face and Rachel narrowed her eyes and planted her feet apart, one hand on her hip and the other poking into Puck's face. Classic lecture pose. Puck knew he was in for it.

"Noah, you cannot Jedi mind trick me you simplistic moron!" Rachel's face turned red with fury but all Puck could think about was that his girlfriend knew what the Jedi mind trick was.

"You know Star Wars?" Puck asked in disbelief and then he leered at her, "Babe that is so hot."

Mercedes wasn't sure what to think but Matt grabbed her by the hand and tugged her up the stairs wanting to confess his love to her without the rainbow unicorn making weird eyes at him. Santana drifted over to Finn and perched on his lip taking a toke of the joint he was smoking.

"I just cannot believe you, we heard you playing on the radio and we listened all night to see who won the competition and it was announced that you did and so we came over to congratulate you and you are all...all..." Rachel was at a loss to describe how they were acting. Luckily Artie was feeling helpful.

"High as kites?" Artie suggested for her and then started laughing hysterically. Quinn sat down on his lap refusing to partake in the joint Finn offered her. Quinn didn't approve but she wasn't going to cause a scene, she could leave that up to Rachel.

"Ugh," Rachel rolled her eyes at Artie. Puck was only just processing everything she had said.

"Hey we won?" Puck asked her and Artie and Finn perked up to hear the answer. Rachel sighed.

"Yes you won."

Puck grabbed Rachel into his arms and swung her around while Finn and Artie hugged their respective girlfriends before giving each other high fives. Puck put Rachel back down on the ground and she folded her arms across her chest glaring at him. Puck stared down at her; admiring her flashing brown eyes and the stubborn tilt of her jaw and the way she looked so cute when she was furious.

"Babe you look so pretty when you're angry," Puck murmured softly and behind him he heard Finn and Artie burst out laughing. Puck decided it was worth the ribbing he would receive later because Rachel dropped her arms and slipped her arms around his waist her anger disappearing.

"Moron," she muttered, "I cannot believe you are willingly destroying your brain cells."

"Don't knock it till you try it babe," Puck quipped chuckling but then a thought crossed his mind and he grinned, "You know babe, getting high is a life experience that any well rounded actress would have under her belt."

"Really?" Rachel asked hesitantly and Puck took a seat around the circle while Quinn hid a smile behind her hand knowing that Puck was about to convince Rachel to get high. Puck was very persuasive.

"Really," he assured her and Rachel bit her lower lip and looked at Finn and Artie who were both bobbing their heads in agreement and then over at Puck, noticing the painting behind his head.

"Why is that painting on its side?" Rachel asked squinting as she cocked her head to one side and Puck pulled her to sit down on his lap as he handed her a joint.

"It won't be for much longer," Puck assured her mischievously.

* * *

**AN: Ah yes, Puck is dragging Rachel to the dark side lol. He is very persuasive. Not totally loving the chapter but it's really hard writing people stoned.**

**iamladyliberty: requested Puck win a song writing contest on the radio but this was what I came up with. Puck, Artie and Finn winning the contest. No real Rachel reaction but it might happen later in the chapters.**

**Through Darkness: No Mrs Puckerman yet, sorry LOL She'll be coming when I do the dinner.**

**REVIEW MY LOVELIES!**

**Next chapter will probably be the dinner unless I get any plot bunnies burrowing into my head.**

**I'm writing a valentine's day one shot too so hopefully get that up on Sunday so keep an eye out for it! Should be called Love Is Such A Dirty Word. Unless I change my mind. Starring Puck, Rachel and some Kurt :) Kurt is just so useful. **


	22. In Which Puck and Rachel's Parents Plan

**AN: Yeah running out of ideas, I know you guys gave me some awesome ones but the actual stories just aren't coming. So I guess I will update when I get inspired. I actually forgot this was sitting here ready to go, so enjoy! If anyone else is watching So You Think You Can Dance Australia who else is obsessed with Nick? Damn that boy is fine. I can't take my eyes off him...it's very unhealthy LOL**

**Disclaimer: Yeah don't own Glee.**

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**In Which Puck and Rachel's Parents Plan Their Wedding**

Puck had never been more uncomfortable in his life; seriously. Sticking pins into his eyes would be a lot more pleasant than sitting here in the living room waiting for Rachel's mother to arrive for dinner. Joseph and Dianna were in the kitchen clucking like a couple of hens, James was hiding out in the garage, Quinn was on Artie's lap, Hannah was colouring in on the living room floor and Rachel was perched on the arm of Noah's chair wringing her hands together nervously. Puck gave a smirk as he looked over at her tanned, bare legs and trace a finger along one of them lightly. Rachel looked down at him and gave a smile, thankful for a distraction.

"I just don't see why I have to be here, it's not like the kids are getting married..." Dianna complained to Joseph as they came out of the kitchen; Joseph holding a tray of cheese and crackers while Dianna held a bottle of champagne and three glasses. Dianna froze and then looked over at Puck and Rachel, "Don't tell me you brought us all together to tell us you are getting married?"

Puck rolled his eyes in a leisurely fashion. There was a snort of laughter coming from the garage. James had the right idea, hiding away in the garage. Puck had tried to join him but then Rachel had flashed him those pleading brown eyes and he had decided to stay with her because he loved being the hero to her damsel in distress.

"Mom, we are still seventeen, we can't get married until we are eighteen without parental consent," Puck reminded her of the law and Dianna gave him a look that said his smart mouth wasn't appreciated.

"Sweetheart if you two want to get married you know that your dad and I will sign for you," Joseph told Rachel caringly and Rachel blushed bright red.

"While that is a very sweet notion daddy we aren't getting married, we both have careers and school to focus on," Rachel informed her daddy emphasising the 'school' in hopes of getting him to remember they were both only in high school. Joseph pouted.

"That's a pity, I would love to have Noah for a son-in-law," Joseph said ruefully looking over at Puck admiringly while the sound of sniggering came from the garage.

Puck choked on his soft drink and looked over at Artie who just had this grin on his face like he was so glad to not be Puck right now. _Shoot me Artie, do it_, he mouthed and Artie made a noise in the back of his throat as he tried not the laugh. The trick to getting through a Berry family dinner with your dignity in tact was not to draw any attention to yourself. Artie learned that the first time he had dinner with the Berry's.

"Could you imagine my Noah in a suit? He would look so handsome," Dianna gushed pouring champagne for herself and for Joseph as she continued, "Hannah would be flower girl of course."

"Of course," Joseph agreed gracing Hannah with a smile and Hannah beamed at him, pleased with her role in the 'not' wedding. Rachel squeezed Puck's hand so hard that he was sure he had fingernail marks. Puck shrugged his shoulders. What did she think he could do? Short of sticking a muzzle on his mother and her father there was nothing to be done.

"I know just the wedding dress designer in New York, he charges a mint but the end result is breathtaking," James informed Dianna who grinned excitedly and the two carried off on their own tangent while everyone in the room listened in.

"Pure white?"

"I was thinking more cream coloured."

"I suppose it depends on the venue."

"I've always wanted to go to a beach wedding."

"Then definitely pure white."

"Pink frangipanis would be perfect."

"Rachel could wear one in her hair; the pink would contrast brilliantly with her dark hair."

"Quinn's maid of honour dress could be pale pink to match the flower."

"Perfect, Rachel loves pink."

Puck, Rachel, Quinn and Artie just couldn't help but stare as Joseph and Dianna started planning Puck and Rachel's wedding. James finally emerged from the garage and rolled his eyes not getting involved in the ridiculous discussion. Instead he placed a beer in front of Puck and one in front of Artie on the coffee table before taking a seat in between them on the couch.

"Drink up boys, it's going to be a long night," James advised them under his breath and Puck and Artie didn't need to be told twice, grabbing their beers and chugging down. Puck knew it was a cliché but the Berry's were one of those gay couples where one of them was super girly and the other was super manly. Opposites attract and all that. Joseph was super girly, which explained why he was planning the wedding with Dianna, while James was more relaxed; he loved beer, football and tinkering with his car.

"What song would you use for your first dance Rachel?" Dianna turned her hazel eyes on Rachel who was startled by the the unexpected question thrown her way. Rachel panicked and said the first song she could think off when she thought of her Noah.

"Sweet Caroline."

"Lovely, that's one of my favourite songs," Dianna clapped her hands in agreement and Joseph nodded pressing a hand to his chest with delight.

"Mine too."

"Or maybe I could use it to walk down the aisle," Rachel suggested entering the conversation which set Dianna and Joseph into a discussion about appropriate music for her entrance.

"Berry," Puck growled under his breath warningly and Rachel blushed realising that she had almost been dragged into the conversation.

"I'm sorry, they are getting me all excited," Rachel apologised sheepishly and Quinn giggled only to be shushed by Artie who was still trying it blend in with the furniture.

There was a loud knocking on the door and Rachel jumped to her feet excitedly. Joseph looked nervous and marched over to James taking his hand possessively and James looked annoyed but let him. Dianna primped her hair and told Hannah to get up and make herself presentable. Rachel hurried to the door with Puck in tow and swung it open. Miranda stood there awkwardly holding a bouquet of flowers and she gave a smile that looked identical to Rachel's.

"I wanted to bring something for you but I wasn't exactly sure what gift would be appropriate for our...situation, so I bought you a bouquet of flowers. I asked the florist which ones they thought would be best and they advised that yellow roses stand for friendship and I thought that conveyed my feelings adequately, so; here you go," Miranda rambled a speech that sounded just like one Rachel would have made and Puck gaped at her. Seeing them together it was so clear they were mother and daughter. Rachel took her bouquet of roses smiling widely.

"Thank you, they are lovely," Rachel complimented her shyly and Miranda stood there awkwardly staring at Rachel but trying to not look like she was actually staring at her.

"Why don't we all go inside?" Puck suggested and mother and daughter both nodded in unison. Rachel squeezed Puck's hand and Miranda gave him a thankful smile.

Miranda was introduced to Dianna and she greeted Joseph and James shyly, thanking them for allowing her to come for dinner. Rachel and Quinn hurried about getting dinner on the table and the extended family sat down to their first dinner. Some were hoping it would be the last, others were hoping it would be the first of many. A polite, albeit uncomfortable conversation began. They found out Miranda moved back to Lima a couple of years back, she was single though she had been seeing someone name Doug who was an electrician.

"How did you meet my dad's?" Rachel asked curiously and Miranda flashed her eyes over at James who laughed.

"James and I dated throughout freshman and sophomore year at college," Miranda replied and the table fell silent as all eyes turned to James, completely shocked.

"You dated a girl?" Artie asked incredulously forgetting his 'never speak in the Berry house' rule and James laughed.

"I like men and women, it just so happened that the love of my life turned out to be a male," James explained to them quite simply reaching over to pat Joseph's hand lovingly and Miranda nodded her head in agreement.

"It's true, James took one look at Joseph and he was hooked," Miranda agreed somewhat ruefully and Quinn's eyes softened with pity.

"Were you heartbroken?" she asked softly and Miranda looked over at James fondly.

"For a time yes, but we parted on good terms. Then I decided to focus on my career and a couple of years later they approached me to carry Rachel," Miranda told them then she turned to address Rachel directly looking apologetic, "I know it's no excuse but I wanted to move to New  
York and I needed money. James and Joseph offered to pay me for being a surrogate so I agreed."

"What happened in New York?" Rachel asked curiously, excited to hear about her favourite place on Earth and Miranda shrugged.

"A couple of off Broadway plays and a chorus part in Wicked," Miranda looked down at her plate, "Once I'd done all that, all I wanted was to come home, raise a family."  
_  
'But I couldn't have any more children_' was left unsaid but everyone heard it. Miranda raised her eyes to look at James and Joseph.

"I am really grateful to you both for letting me get to know Rachel, she's beautiful, and such a wonderful singer," Miranda complimented them and Joseph's eyes began to tear up a little at her heartfelt speech. Joseph always was a sucker for a good sob story.

"She gets that from you," James told Miranda throwing Rachel a fond glance.

"I just wanted all of you to know that I am not here to try and steal her away from you. She is your daughter but I just want to get to know her and be her friend and watch her grow. So thank you for this opportunity," Miranda stood up to give her speech and placed a hand on her hip the way Rachel did when she was trying to make an important point.

"She gets that from you as well," James quipped referring to the speech Miranda just made and Rachel glared at her dad who just chuckled.

An awkward silence fell over the table as Miranda took her seat again. Puck looked at his mother hopefully. She was Jewish and Jewish mothers never knew how to shut their traps, it was like they were allergic to silence. True to form Dianna smiled at Puck, taking the hint to start talking and Puck nearly smiled. His face twisted into a smile but then it dropped because his mother thought this was appropriate dinner conversation.

"How do you feel about beach weddings Miranda?"

* * *

After dinner Puck and Artie managed to escape with James to the garage where they downed another beer each. James knew giving alcohol to minors was against the law but after the dinner they just had all of them needed a cold one. Rachel, Quinn, Dianna, Joseph, Miranda and Hannah were all cloistered in the living room chatting about whatever the heck it was girls talked about. They all seemed to be getting along, even Joseph was starting to warm up to Miranda now that he was sure she wasn't here to steal James or Rachel away from him.

"Do you miss chicks?" Puck blurted out and James frowned in confusion at the question.

"What?"

Artie rolled his eyes. Puck was so inarticulate.

"I think Puck is trying to ask if you miss being with a woman," Artie explained and James looked surprised by the question.

"And the parts that go along with it," Puck said meaningfully thinking about how much he loved boobs.

Seriously; Puck loved boobs, especially Rachel's. And her legs. And her smile. And her laugh. And pretty much everything about her. But her boobs were pretty high up on his list.

"Not really," James shrugged then gave a cheeky smile, "Besides Joseph is more woman than I can handle."

And that brought on a mental image Puck wished he never had to imagine.

* * *

Puck was pushing Artie in front of him towards Rachel and Quinn's rooms when they heard the two girls having a conversation.

"I cannot believe my dad is bi-sexual, that is just something a daughter never should have to know about her father," Rachel was saying.

"I wonder what it's like, kissing another girl," Quinn spoke this time and Puck and Artie paused to listen to the conversation because it seemed like it was going somewhere interesting.

"I've always wanted to try."

"Do you...?"

"Okay."

Puck froze for a second. Dear God, the sexiest of all same sex hook ups was about to happen. Puck turned the wheelchair around and backed towards the door so he and Artie could lean backwards and they peered inside Quinn's room. Artie opened his mouth but Puck quickly covered it with his hand, he was not about to let anyone ruin this. They both remained silent and watched Quinn and Rachel lean towards each other, like they were in slow motion. After a hesitant moment they pressed their lips together. Instant hard on. Puck made sure to burn this image into his memory forever. Quinn's hand reached out to touch Rachel's face as their mouths opened and their tongues touched. Puck wasn't sure how long it went on for but he did not mind the view.

"What did you think?" Rachel asked hesitantly pulling back from Quinn who licked her lips.

"It was hot, super hot," Quinn assured her, "But..."

"I know, I definitely like boys," Rachel agreed firmly and Quinn smiled.

"Me too."

"Okay," Rachel suddenly blushed as though realising she had made out with Quinn and Quinn blushed as well.

"Okay," Quinn repeated then she finally glanced over Rachel's shoulder and saw Puck and Artie in the doorway, their mouths hanging open.

"Rach, I need you now," Puck blurted out grabbing Rachel by the arm and yanking her after him. He pulled her into her room and slammed the door shut pushing her against the closed door and plundering her mouth with his. Rachel broke away from him looking a little embarrassed.

"You're not angry are you?" Rachel asked hesitantly worried about his reaction to her kiss with Quinn now that they were alone. She needn't have worried; Puck's reaction was the same one any hot blooded male would have after seeing his hot girlfriend hook up with his friend's hot girlfriend. He was so turned on he could barely think straight.

"Heck no, that was the hottest thing I have ever seen," Puck growled crudely nudging his knee between her thighs as he kissed her collarbone. Rachel moaned and relaxed against him when Puck was struck by a sudden thought and he looked her in the eyes to say quite seriously, "Just don't do it when I'm not around."

Rachel gave a smirk that he found undeniably sexy.

"Deal, but the deal goes both ways so no kissing other boys when I'm not around."

"Babe the day I kiss another dude is the day I announce to the whole school that you own me."

Again Rachel smirked, a challenge in her eyes.

"Deal."

Puck felt like he had just made a deal with an extremely hot jewish devil.

* * *

**AN; So give a review if you enjoyed! I may not be able to update for a long while. HUGE personal problems abound. So this is all you will have to remember me by LOL. Enjoy!**

**Also if Puck were hypothetically to kiss a boy, who would you want it to be and why?? No reason...its not like Puck is going to eventually kiss another boy so that he has to announce to the school that Rachel Berry owns him or anything...wait...maybe that is happening ;)**


	23. In Which Puck Sucks and Blows

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**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee, wish I did because then I wouldn't make myself wait this long for another episode. You are so cruel Fox...so so cruel. **

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Click on the 2010 April Author Auction. I'm under Glee, my SN is X5-542.

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**AN: This idea of suck and blow came from one of my wonderful readers but I forget who and I'm too lazy to check. But thank you to whoever it was, you made this chapter happen. Also I didn't read through this as much as I usually do so I apologise if there are spelling mistakes or sentences don't make sense lol. **

**In Which Puck Sucks and Blows**

Puck had no idea how Rachel had managed to convince him that it was badass to play suck and blow. Last time Puck checked he wasn't a twelve year old girl at a sleepover, though in Rachel's defence, they were at Mike's house for a Glee sleepover but whatever. The point being, here he was seated in a circle with the rest of the Gleeks and Tina was going through the rules of the game for those (mainly Rachel) who never had friends before to play the game with.

"So I hold the playing card to my lips and suck on it, then try and pass it to Santana who will be sucking as well and when she has a firm hold on the card I stop sucking?" Rachel asked finally understanding what Tina was telling her and Tina nodded, giving a grin.

"Let's start!"

At least Puck could content himself in the knowledge that he wasn't the only guy who had been forced into the girly shenanigans. Puck had no idea how he ended up in between Finn and Matt of all people. Wasn't the whole point of this game to 'accidentally' kiss a girl while you were trying to pass the playing card to each other? Although, Puck could not complain as he watched the girls pass the playing card between them giggling, his teenage brain going off on its own tangent until Finn nudged him indicating it was their turn. They were the first boy to boy pass; Mike and Kurt didn't count because...well Kurt was pretty much considered a girl.

"Oooh boy on boy; sexy, they would make such a cute couple," Kurt murmured from Mike's lap and Finn's eyes widened in shock loosing his concentration and forgetting to suck. The playing card slipped from his lips as Puck leaned over and their lips met without any barrier.

Puck had no idea what the frick just happened. One second he was going for the playing card and the next thing he knew, Finn's tongue was in his mouth and they were honest to god kissing.

"HA! I own you!" Rachel crowed jumping to her feet and pointing at them smugly before doing some odd dance of triumph that Puck would have thought was cute if he wasn't on the verge of throwing up. Puck pulled away from Finn roughly gagging while Kurt and Mike stared in awe, Kurt giving an approving nod. Santana and the other girls were cheering.

"Why would you stick your tongue in man?" Puck demanded gruffly then added in a broken whisper feeling a little sick to his stomach, "Why Finn, why?"

"You were sucking dude," Finn said by way of explanation, then as an after thought he added, "You have really soft lips."

"Thanks," Puck said awkwardly, and then decided since Finn was complimenting him he deserved one back, "So do you."

"Thanks," Finn said looking down at the ground embarrassed.

"Please tell me you boys are switching teams," Kurt begged looking between the two boys eagerly and then yelped as Finn and Puck both lunged across the circle and tried to pummel him. Ha, they tried to pummel Hummel; Puck knew he should have been a comedian.

Moments later Puck was brushing his teeth furiously while glaring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He could hear the other Gleeks throughout the house; Artie and Mercedes playing Singstar with Tina, Quinn and Matt while Brittany and Santana were in the kitchen with Finn both girls teasing Finn about 'that-which-will-never-be-spoken-of-again', Mike and Kurt were God knows where Puck really didn't want to know. Just as he was cleaning out his mouth Rachel waltzed in and handed him a piece of pink, perfumed paper.

"What's this?" Puck asked looking down at it with distaste. He could make out the first sentence and grimacefd. She could not be freaking serious.

_I, Noah Eli Puckerman, do hereby declare that I belong wholly to Rachel Barbara Berry..._

"The speech I would like you to read to the entire student body at lunch on Monday," Rachel informed him, the glean in her eyes freaking him out a little.

But hey; if this relationship wasn't weird and just a little bit freaky he wouldn't be a part of it.

"Berry; what did I say about keeping the crazy to a minimum?" Puck asked her smirking, trying to change the subject but Rachel could not be deterred. She knew they had a deal and she was cashing in.

"I'm not crazy, remember our deal? The day you kiss a 'dude' as you so eloquently referred to your peers was the day you admitted to the whole school that I owned you."

Puck frowned. He so wanted to forget that...it, ever happened. He wasn't sure he could even look at Finn now, never mind be in the same room with him.

"Berry, that was an accident," Puck trying to make the deal invalid but Rachel was not accepting it.

"There was tongue, ergo, you kissed a boy," Rachel pointed out, poking him in the chest.

"And you liked it!" Kurt sang out from somewhere in the house and Puck glowered.

"You are dead Hummel, when I find your skinny-little-Gucci-wearing-show-tune-loving-chipmunk-singing ass I'm going to shove you in the trash can," Puck threatened furiously, his shoulders heaving with contained rage and his fists clenching threateningly though Kurt was not in the room to be able to appreciate exactly how scary Puck was at that moment.

"How rude," Kurt huffed loudly offended and Rachel shot Puck a disappointed look.

"Chipmunk singing?" Rachel asked him raising an eyebrow and Puck folded his arms across his chest. She was not going to make him feel bad for saying at Kurt sang like a chipmunk. Puck was a man, and he would not be shaken down by a midget.

"He sings high Berry," Puck explained hoping she would get the joke and when Rachel didn't crack a smile he added, "like a chipmunk."

Rachel just kept giving him that look that made him feel guiltier by the second and after an intense moment of staring each other down Puck's shoulders fell helplessly and he groaned. He stormed out of the bathroom and into the living room where Mercedes and Matt booed him for being so mean and threw plastic cups at him. Puck rolled his eyes and walked into the hallway looking for Kurt.

"Kurt, where are you? I want to talk to you," Puck called out loudly in to the house and Puck could hear shuffling from somewhere upstairs but Mike's house was huge and Puck didn't feel like checking every single room.

"You are just going to shove me in the trash can," came Kurt's voice from upstairs and Puck sighed.

"I swear I won't," he promised, "You really think Mike would let me do that to you?"

"Mike is my hero but you are twice the size of him, sorry Hun," Kurt paused his speech to mumble something, presumably to Mike before continuing loudly, "So excuse me if I don't believe that having Mike will be enough to protect me from a dumpster dive."

Puck scratched his head with annoyance. Well if it wasn't his past coming back to bite him in the ass.

"Would you just come out here so I can apologise?" he snapped loudly.

There was silence throughout the house and then a chorus of laughter started until all the Gleeks all over the house were laughing. Puck turned and saw Santana and Brittany hanging onto Finn, tears coming from their eyes as they laughed and laughed. Finn was trying to stand upright but he ended up hunched over laughing as well. The Gleeks in the living room were cracking up as well and Rachel was behind him looking at annoyed as Puck felt.

"You...you're going to a...apologise...to...me?" Kurt called out stopping every few words to laugh and Puck folded his arms across his chest annoyed that his so called friends thought he was so much of a douche that he would never apologise to someone who deserved one.

"You want the apology or not Hummel?" Puck demanded and there was the sound of steps and then Kurt and Mike came down the stairs still giggling with Mike standing protectively in front of Kurt. The other Gleeks came into the hallway to watch the momentous occasion and Kurt preened himself importantly making Mike step aside so Puck could address him directly.

"Wait Kurt, I want to get this on film," Mercedes whipped out her phone and started recording giving Kurt the thumbs up, "ok, and action."

"Screw you guys," Puck growled turning to storm away but Rachel was standing behind him, her arms folded across her chest and Puck turned back around, "Hummel, I'm sorry for saying that you sound like a chipmunk, you sound like a twelve year old girl."

Kurt pressed a hand to his chest, smiling widely.

"Thank you Puck, being the only male soprano in Glee..." Kurt began is acceptance speech of Puck's apology and Puck rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done," Puck muttered turning back to Rachel with a raised eyebrow to confirm that he was indeed done. Not that he was asking her permission or anything, he just wanted to know so that she didn't lecture him when they should be making out and finding places to defile each other. Yeah, he said defile, deal with it. Rachel liked it when he used big words. When they studied together she rewarded his word use by taking off items of clothing, so he had been studying pretty hard lately.

"Not yet you aren't, there is still the matter of the speech," Rachel reminded him smirking, then she opened her mouth to go into a huge speech about his bad sportsmanship and how he coudln't back out of the deal but Puck really didn't want to hear it. Instead he placed a hand over her mouth.

"Fine," Puck gave in and Rachel shrieked with delight and threw her arms around his neck planting a kiss on him that turned into a fierce make out session. Someone, probably Santana, made gagging noises.

"Let's walk to the dvd store and get some DVD's. We can play Ninja Hide on the way!" Matt suggested as he trekked to the bathroom shutting the door behind him.

"What's that?" Mercedes asked and everyone looked over at Mike who folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh sure, just cos I'm Asian I automatically know how to play Ninja Hide," Mike said sarcastically and when the group continued to stare at him Mike sighed, "Fine I do know how to play it but for the last time I don't know Kung Fu and Mr Miagi is not my grandfather."

Ninja Hide wasn't the hardest game in the world. They basically walked around the streets and when a car came they had to do spectacular dives into bushes and hide...like ninjas. Apparently Mike and Matt came up with the game a couple of weeks ago and were looking forward to doing it with a group of people. They had freaked out a lot of drivers and they swore it was fun so the rest of Glee decided to play along.

They started their walk to the dvd store and Finn was giving Santana a piggy back, while Quinn pushed Artie along, Rachel and Puck had arms wrapped around each other, Matt and Mercedes and Kurt and Mike were all holding hands with eahc other and Tina and Brittany were walking side by side when a car came around the corner.

"Ninja Hide!" Matt screamed loudly and the group split.

Puck dove into the nearest bush and landed behind a hedge in someones front yard. He had no idea what happened to Rachel when suddenly she came flying through the hedge having been pushed by Quinn and Santana and Puck caught her quickly in his arms. Puck looked up and saw Mike sitting in a tree. How the heck did Mike get up that tree so fast? No matter what Mike said, Puck would always think he was a crazy ass ninja. Puck wondered what happened to the others.

The car that they hid from came to a rumbling pause on the curb. A figure got out of the car and came over to the hedge that Puck, Rachel, Quinn and Santana were hiding behind and Puck could have sworn he'd seen blond curly hair like that somewhere before.

"I'm sure I saw a group of people Emma but they disappeared," a familiar voice mused with confusion and Puck looked up at Mike.

'Mr Shue' Mike mouthed down at the teens hidden behind the hedge and Puck grinned. This was just too good an opportunity to pass up. He looked over at Rachel who had an evil smirk on her face and Puck had never been so proud of his girl. Santana and Quinn picked up on what they were about to do and Puck held up his hand. 1. 2. 3. The four teens jumped out of the hedge screaming bloody murder.

**_A few moments later..._**  
"Mr Shue we are so sorry," Rachel apologised for the hundredth time looking down at the man seated on the curb with the tissue pressed up against his nose to stem the blood coming out. He tried to give her a weak smile.

"It's OK Rach, it's not your fault I ran into a tree," Mr Shue told her gently but Rachel shook her head.

"But if we hadn't startled you in the first place that woudln't have happened," Rachel then flashed her eyes at Puck like it was his fault when she had been involved in the prank.

Puck tried to wipe the amused look off his face but he just couldn't help it. Seriously, it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. He and the girls had jumped out of the hedge and Mike jumped out of the tree screaming and Mr Shue had let out a yelp that he would probably later claim was manly, and turned trying to run back to the car but forgot there was a tree directly behind him and he smashed his face into the tree. Puck had never laughed so hard in his life. Totally worth the lecture he knew Rachel would give him when he got home. The other Gleeks were all crowding around Mr Shue, worried for their teacher, but also trying not to laugh.

"It's fine you guys," Mr Shue told them checking the tissue he was holding to see if the blood was still coming out. Rachel handed him a fresh tissue from her purse and a wet wipe so he could try and wipe away most of the blood.

"Do you think Miss P will ever let you back in the car?" Mercedes asked quietly and they all turned their eyes to the red haired counsellor who had locked herself in the car and was just staring at the blood all over Mr Shue in horror, her hands shaking as she rocked forwards and backwards muttering to herself about disinfectant and bacteria.

Mr Shue sighed in resgination looking down at his filthy shirt.

"Probably not," Mr Shue murmured shaking his head and Puck couldn't help it.

He laughed out loud; which set everyone else off, even Mr Shue who ended up having to walk home. Rachel did lecture him that night but Puck had the memory of Mr Shue running into the tree to distract him until he could coax, yeah he said coaxed deal with it, her to make out with him. Puck was such a badass stud.

He was not looking forward to Monday though because on Monday he was basicaly handing Berry his balls in front of the entire student body.

********

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**AN: Thank you for all your kind words. Things still aren't great at the moment but working through it. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! **

**Ninja Hide is actually a game me and my friends used to play back when we just finished school but were too young to go anywhere and spent our nights walking the streets (in a non sexual prostitute way). It is the funniest, stupidest game in history, along with our 'Fetal position' game. Basically you could be anywhere, the shops, on the road, in church where it happened alot, and if one of our group yelled 'fetal position' you had to drop to the ground and curl up like a fetus. Not sure the purpose of the game or how it started but it was hilarious at the time. **


	24. In Which Rachel Gets Told Off

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee.**

**AN: Woohoo less than a week till Glee!! Although I do have to wait an extra day than you lucky folk in the US to watch it. I can't wait to see Lea who has been looking freaking hot lately btw; hot damn that girl is a sexy bitch. That is why she will always remain the girl I will go gay for.**

**On another note, Mark Salling in the new new Glee promo right at the end winking at Brittany...be still my raging hormones hahaha. I don't really like that he is going to be a whore for the back 9, but at least there will be Puckleberry...please Glee God's let it be for more than one episode, I'm begging you!! Did anyone see him dancing on Oprah in a wife beater?? *swoon* yeah. No words can describe.**

**Although on another tangent Jon Groff is absolutely adorable with his "Sing off in the parking lot" I may be persuaded to take a detour from Puckleberry for a little bit of Rasse? Jessberry? Doesn't have the same ring to it does it?**

**My hope is that Puck and Rachel become friends then later maybe season 2, or 3 if they get that far; Puck and Rachel start dating for real. Like the producer guy from Glee said, its high school, kids swap partners like they change underwear (he didn't say it exactly like that but you get the drift)**

* * *

**In Which Rachel Gets Told Off**

"No, I won't do it."

Puck watched as his sister stamped her foot furiously. He could not believe what he was about to do but desperate times call for desperate measures. He was going to beg. Puck refused to go to school today; Rachel was going to make him read that stupid speech to the whole student body if he didn't come up with a plan to never step inside the school grounds again.

Step 1: Get Hannah to get rid of Rachel when she came to pick him up. Rachel's dads had just bought her a new car and she insisted on driving them to school every morning. See? This was why Puck needed to preserve as much of his manhood as possible, he was starting to feel like Berry was the one who wore the pants in their relationship since she was the one driving him around town. Puck wasn't sure she even owned pants so that couldn't be right.

"Come on Hannah, just answer the door when Berry gets here and tell her I'm sick," Puck pleaded desperately and Hannah got that evil smirk on her face that was ruined slightly by the fact her two front teeth were still growing back.

"What's in it for me?" Hannah asked rubbing her hands together in anticipation and Puck would have been so damn proud of her Puckish negotiating skills if he wasn't so annoyed by them.

"Ten bucks," Puck offered knowing that he would inevitably end up paying her at least thirty.

"Fifty."

"Twenty."

"Forty."

"Thirty."

"Deal."

The doorbell chimed and the siblings both glanced at the clock. 7am. It was Rachel. Puck threw himself down on the couch then nudged Hannah towards the door. Hannah liked Rachel, she did, but Rachel was also kind of scary and intense especially when you told her something she wouldn't like and Hannah knew Rachel wouldn't like what Hannah was about to tell her. Hannah opened the front door to find Rachel standing there smoothing out her skirt.

"Good morning Hannah, may I enquire as to the whereabouts of your brother?"

Hannah stared blankly at her and Rachel sighed trying to 'modernize' her question.

"Where is Noah?" Rachel asked, and then smiled proudly at having successfully spoken like a normal teenager.

"He's sick," Hannah said dropping her eyes in a telltale way that indicated she was lying. Rachel folded her arms across her chest and gave Hannah the 'I'm disappointed in you young lady' look.

"Hannah Marie Puckerman," Rachel began her lecture and Hannah turned and bolted.

"Noah! Save me!" Hannah screamed dramatically running through the house and Puck groaned rubbing his face with his hands as Rachel stormed into the house and came to stand in front of him with her arms folded across her chest and her right foot pumping up and down furiously.

Puck had one more thing to try. He fell to his knees and grabbed her hips nuzzling his head into her hips.

"Please babe, please don't make me do it, I'll do anything, just please don't make me," Puck begged her. Yes, down on his knees and begging. Rachel gave him a stern look and then shrugged.

"Okay, don't worry about it," Rachel snapped icily then she turned and stormed out to her car. Puck was so grateful he didn't even realise that she was pissed off. Not until the drive to school where she didn't say one word to him.

Not one word. Puck was screwed, he knew it.

They pulled up at school and Puck tried to take her pink trolley bag but Rachel stubbornly held onto it, not talking or looking at him. Quinn and Artie were standing out the front of school waiting for Puck and Rachel like they did every morning and Quinn took one look at Rachel then narrowed her eyes at Puck.

"He did something," Quinn told Artie who frowned looking between Puck and Rachel. Artie didn't see anything out of the ordinary. They were walking side by side like they normally did every morning.

"How do you know that?" Artie asked in confusion scratching the back of his head and Quinn looked down at him patronisingly.

"I just do."

Artie was a little bit afraid his girlfriend had picked up on Rachel's alleged psychic skills. Santana and Finn came to stand with them and Santana tutted.

"Quinn..." Santana said her eyes fixed on Rachel and Quinn sighed with resignation.

"I know, come on," Quinn and Santana made a beeline for Rachel and then the three disappeared into the school grounds while Puck jogged over to the guys running a hand through his hawk. they all greeted each other with fist bumps when Finn's phone went off with a text message.  
_  
'I found you Miss new booty, get it together and bring it back to me' _

"Dude, sweet message tone," Puck complimented him and Finn just smiled as he checked his phone. The smile faded from his face as he looked back up at Puck in horror.

"What did you do?" Finn asked almost desperately and Puck shrugged pretending he had no idea what Finn was talking about but Puck knew exactly what was wrong. Rachel was having a girly tantrum because he refused to give that stupid speech. Finn was glaring at Puck accusingly, "I had a make out session all lined up with San and she just texted me that there was an emergency and she wouldn't be able to make it."

"Same here," Artie spoke up annoyed and Puck looked down to see Artie glaring up at him holding his cell phone. The kid may look quiet and unassuming but he could be hell scary when he wanted to, "This may surprise you but Quinn is the hottest girl to ever pay attention to me and she lets me touch her goodies which is something I would like to continue doing so what the heck did you do to Rachel?"

Puck was actually afraid of Artie Abrams. No wonder Rachel walked all over him, Puck was a giant pussy.

"Whatever you did man, fix it, like right now," Finn was saying quite desperately and Artie was nodding adamantly. A fight between Puck and Rachel could not go on for too long, Artie might never get Quinn back and he wanted her back; badly.

"Yeah, you have to fix it, Rachel has to be happy," Artie reiterated for Puck who looked between Finn and Artie and smirked.

"Don't tell me all your pathetic love lives depend on whether Rachel is happy or not," Puck asked mockingly thinking they were overreacting and Finn and Artie were completely serious.

"They kind of do."

"Yeah."

Puck groaned and pulled the speech Rachel wanted him to read on her scented pink paper from his bag handing it to Artie for him to read.

"Here."

"What's this?" Artie asked scanning the paper quickly and Finn leant over the back of his chair so that he could read as well.

"What Rachel wants me to read to the whole cafeteria."

Artie burst out laughing and after the standard ten second delay Finn started laughing as well. Puck snatched back the speech and shoved it into his bag looking uncomfortable.

"It's not funny, Berry is insane," Puck told them earnestly and both Finn and Artie winced in sympathy for him, "I begged her this morning not to make me do it."

Puck folded his arms across his chest. He had every right to deny the speech right?

"For someone who claims to be a stud you really have no idea when it comes to girls, especially the one you're dating," Artie chuckled at Puck's expense and Puck raised an eyebrow at the challenge. Like Artie knew more about Rachel Berry than him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Puck replied threateningly and Artie shook his head still smiling.

"It means, this was her way of seeing how much you loved her and you failed spectacularly by refusing to read the speech; she probably thinks you don't love her."

"That is stupid. Why don't girls just come out and say this shit?" Puck cursed rolling his eyes. Now that Artie had given him the scenario is sounded exactly like something Rachel; in all her crazy-hot-Jewishness; would do because she was indeed a crazy-hot-Jew. Puck looked at both Finn and Artie helplessly, "What am I gonna do?"

Finn gave him a pat on the shoulder solemnly.

"I think you have to make a speech."

* * *

Rachel was sniffing back her tears wiping them away with the toilet paper while Santana and Quinn crowded around her making appropriate curses towards Puck and asking her if she was ok.

"All I wanted was for him to declare his love for me in front of the entire school and he refused," Rachel sobbed pitifully and Quinn and Santana exchanged a look. Quinn nodded deciding to take the reins on this one.

"Rachel, you are being insane," Quinn told her point blank and Rachel ceased crying, surprised at Quinn's reaction. Usually Santana and Quinn were all gung-ho about hating on Puck when he was being a jerk but this time it was almost like they were on his side.

"Pardon me?"

"You can't expect Puck to just keep following all your rules," Quinn repeated simply and Rachel frowned turning to Santana for support but Santana was nodding; agreeing with Quinn.

"Yeah, at first it was funny but you need to lay off and stop making him jump through hoops," Santana lectured shaking a finger in Rachel's face her voice firm and Quinn rolled her eyes pushing Santana out of the way. She and Santana had planned to break the news to Rachel that she was insanely possessive in a nice way and Santana wasn't keeping with the plan.

"What San is trying to say is that you are being too hard on him," Quinn told Rachel gently and Santana nodded in agreement again.

"He's gone through leaps and bounds for you already that he has never done for another girl. That should be enough to prove that he loves you," Santana was quick to point out counting herself as one of the girls Puck had never gone to this much effort for. Her words really struck Rachel.

Rachel considered what they were saying and then thought about the Puck she used to know and the Noah that she knew now. Puck who used to throw slushies on her and humiliate her; Noah who kissed her and loved her and wore matching clothes for her. Noah who sang for her and who would do anything for her, who was proud to be her boyfriend. They were right; she was taking it too far.

"You guys are right, I've been such a manipulative female dog," Rachel admitted sheepishly wanting nothing more than to find her Noah and apologise for trying to push him to embarrass himself when she already knew how he felt about her.

"Bitch, say it with me Berry," Santana encouraged her and Rachel pressed her lips together before letting out a sigh.

"Fine, I've been such a manipulative bitch," Rachel still half whispered 'bitch' but Santana was proud all the same. She wrapped an arm around Quinn's shoulders looking like a proud mother.

"Look Quinn, our little baby's all grown up and swearing like a sailor," Santana gushed smugly and Rachel shot her an annoyed look but ended up giggling. Quinn pulled Rachel in for a three way hug making sure to ask Rachel,

"So no more making Puck do ridiculous things to prove himself to you?"

Rachel nodded wiping away her tears. The three girls exited the bathroom with Santana humming 'I'll make a man out of you' from Mulan.

* * *

Rachel and the girls strolled into the lunch room later that day and Rachel eagerly searched the cafeteria for Puck. She hadn't seen him all day and she had tried calling but he hadn't picked up which made her worry. She knew that she really needed to apologise to him. Quinn, Santana and Rachel froze on seeing Puck standing on a table in the centre of the cafeteria looking calm and collected. Around him the other glee guys formed a protective circle and Rachel felt her heart swell with emotion when he held up the piece of pink paper. He was going to read her speech. Rachel wouldn't let him go through with this, after her conversation with the girls she realised she needed to stop emasculating him, or at least give him a break. Rachel started running across the cafeteria pushing Mike out of the way and climbing up onto the table with her boyfriend.

"I Noah Eli Puckerman..." Puck was cut off by Rachel attaching her lips to his. The Gleeks erupted into cheers and Puck pulled away from Rachel in surprise but she was just grinning madly.

"I love you," Rachel breathed dreamily and Puck frowned at her.

"I didn't finish my speech," he reminded her showing her the pink paper and Rachel shook her head beaming proudly at him before grabbing the paper from him and tearing it into little pieces.

"You were going to do it, that's enough for me," she assured him and Puck smiled feeling all was right in the world again and he dipped his head to kiss her again when a stream of cold water came out of nowhere.

They both cried out in surprise and turned to see Coach Sylvester standing there holding a water gun.

"Like dogs in heat," Sue muttered shaking her head then she rested the gun on her shoulder and strolled away whistling satisfied that her job was done throwing over her shoulder, "Detention Berry, Puckerman."

Rachel struggled to not go off into her make believe world where Berry Puckerman was actually Berry-Puckerman. Though now that she thought about, she would probably keep her own name as a stage name but use Berry-Puckerman as her official name...

Rachel realised that Puck was staring at her, a little unnerved by her sudden silence.

"That woman is just pure evil," Rachel cursed under her breath as she and Puck watched the Cheerio's couch saunter away. Children parted like the red sea as she moved through the crowd.

"Looks like someone's house is getting TP'd this weekend," Puck commented looking down at Finn who gave him the nod and Finn and Puck did a quick fist bump having planned their weekend while Rachel rolled her eyes at their childishness but secretly applauded the fact they were going to teach that nasty coach a lesson. Puck turned back to Rachel and pulled her to his chest ignoring the fact that they were still in plain view of everyone, "So I get to keep my balls?"

"Yes Noah, they are all yours," Rachel replied smiling sweetly and Puck grinned.

"Thanks babe."

"You're welcome."

Puck didn't care that the whole world could see him and Berry standing up there on the table because he was awesome and she was his girl. Plus she let him make out with her in front of everyone so he totally looked like the man.

Heck yeah.

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**AN: Hope you liked it! I know it was a little short but what are you gonna do?**

**Things are back to going really good for me, applied for a new job I really hope I get. Being a travel agent is awesome but I've worked the same job for 7 years, I need a break. Application close on Monday so keep your fingers crossed for me!!! I still won't be updating that often though I'm working on my own original story. Plus finishing my one shot for the awesome person who won me at the supportstacie auction.**

**Well hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Next one is In Which Puck and Rachel Get Caught...Studying. Puck and Rachel discuss being the Jackie and Hyde of Lima (one of my reviewers wanted this) and also Quinn catching Puck and Rachel...studying. LOL.**

**Review!**


	25. In Which Puck Is Thankful For Gossip Gir

**AN: Don't Own Glee. Only two more episodes until Bad Reputation. Ladies put on your Puckleberry caps and cross your fingers :)**

**

* * *

****In Which Puck Is Thankful For Gossip Girl**

Due to living arrangements Quinn, Artie, Rachel and Puck almost always ended up spending at least two nights a week together so they made Thursday night their 'couples night' where they played board games and watched movies. Sometimes some of the other Gleeks joined them but tonight it was just the four of them. They were playing the Game of Life and Quinn was winning with two twins in the back of her car and only five spaces away from retiring.

"Now do we want Millionaire Estates or Countryside Acres?" Quinn asked Artie for his input and Artie grinned at her adoringly.

"Millionaire Estates all the way babe," he said surely and Rachel watched the two with an amused smile on her face.

Artie and Quinn did everything together, just like her and Puck; they were utterly devoted to each other. Rachel turned her eyes back to the game. The game of life. They only had one more year left of high school before they had to move on with their lives; Rachel wondered where all their lives would lead. It seemed a pretty sure thing that Quinn and Artie and Puck and Rachel would last through senior year; short of one of them stuffing it up really badly of course, but so far Puck and Rachel hadn't spoken any further in to the future. Puck knew Rachel wanted Broadway but she had no idea what he had decided for his future.

"Do you think you guys will last past graduation?" Rachel asked when Quinn caught Rachel's eye and Quinn blushed and looked over at Artie who nodded that he was game if she was.

"I hope so," Quinn replied shyly.

"Me too," Rachel agreed then she looked back over at Puck fondly, "It would be nice to see our unique coupling beat the odds of tragic high school romance."

Puck rolled his eyes though he was smiling at her then he shoved a Twinkie in his mouth. Artie was like the God of Twinkies; every time he came over he had a box with him. If Puck were gay, which he totally wasn't, but if he was he would pick Artie because apparently Artie knew the way to a man's heart was through his stomach.

"Unique coupling?" Artie scoffed nudging Quinn who laughed as well.

"Please, you two are a walking cliché," Quinn told her and Rachel folded her arms across her chest defiantly and quirked an eyebrow, challenge written all over her face.

"Excuse me?"

"Bad boy with a heart of gold falls in love with good, albeit extremely annoying at times, girl," Artie explained to her and Rachel raised an eyebrow.

She hadn't thought of it that way, probably because she didn't see herself as the 'good girl' nor did she see herself as 'extremely annoying'. She narrowed her eyes at Artie and he quickly averted his eyes. Rachel mentally banned him from her cookie list; he would rue this day when everyone else got cookies and he didn't. Ha.

"They're right babe, we are the Jackie and Hyde of Lima," Puck told her shaking his head and Rachel frowned in confusion turning her attention to her boyfriend who was doing a great impression of a vacuum as he inhaled his Twinkie in record time.

"I don't understand that reference," Rachel informed them shrugging and Puck was shocked.

"Really?" he asked incredulously and when Rachel shrugged Puck scratched the back of his head, "Babe, how have I not corrupted you with That 70's Show?"

* * *

Thus began the 'That 70's Show' Marathon that lasted the whole weekend. Quinn and Artie bowed out around season four and hadn't been seen for the rest of the weekend. Sunday night Puck and Rachel were watching the finale of the entire 'That 70's Show' season and since Puck had already seen it he raced downstairs during the ending to grab a coke but when he got back to Rachel's room she was standing by her window with her arm wrapped around her body, staring out of the window morosely sniffling.

"Jesus Berry are you crying?" Puck asked putting his coke down on her dresser then he shrugged awkwardly. He was never that good with the comfort stuff. Inappropriate sexual innuendo? Puck was the man. Comforting his girlfriend? Not so much. Usually he had Quinn do his dirty work for him but he decided to try and give it his best shot so he asked, "Did Quinn steal your Barbara Streisand CD again or something?"

People who didn't know Rachel and Quinn would probably laugh but the fight over that Barbara Streisand album had lasted for one whole week and Puck and Artie had even considered selling tickets to the battle royale because Quinn was a closet Barbara fan and Rachel...well she was crazy and they both wanted that album. Thank God Artie knew how to burn CD's was all Puck had to say on that particular memory. Rachel spun to face him dramatically. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes; great she was channelling overdramatic old school actresses again.

"You think we are like Jackie and Hyde," Rachel said quietly like it was the worst thing in the world and Puck smirked cautiously.

"Well yeah babe, Hyde is the cool bad boy, Jackie the slightly annoying yet incredibly hot midget; that's totally us," Puck nodded his agreement with his words and Rachel's hands moved to her hips. Shit; classic lecture pose. Puck winced in anticipation. Here it comes. Three...two...one...

"They don't stay together in the end, Jackie ends up with Fez! Fez Noah!"

Rachel's voice was shrill and Puck restrained himself from sticking his fingers in his ears. He'd done that once before; he'd never do it again. Rachel poked a finger to his chest.

"Well? What do you say to that?" Rachel was still half shrieking and Puck wondered how she wasn't waking up the neighbourhood. Puck decided to lay on the charm. He was still a stud right? Right? He could handle one Rachel Berry freak out.

"Berry relax, we are the Jackie and Hyde before they break up," Puck told her winking; absolutely believing that he had just saved the day as he leaned in for a kiss but Rachel pressed her hands against his chest and pushed him away.

"Hyde cheats on Jackie," Rachel reminded him, narrowing her eyes suspiciously and Puck wanted to slam his head into the wall. Okay, new tactic, backtrack Puckerman, backtrack.

"Berry, we are like them but we aren't going to end up like them," Puck amended his comparison leaning in for a kiss again and Rachel gave him one distractedly. When she didn't go in for seconds like she usually did Puck sighed with desperation. Tonight had started out so good. He snaked his arms around her waist and tugged her to his chest, "Rachel, come on."

Usually saying her name just like that was enough to distract her but not this time. There goes his evening of Sunday Sex. Puck was sure he had a serious case of blue balls. That shit just ain't right.

"I think I just want to be alone tonight," Rachel said tightly and Puck finally gave in to his frustration.

"Seriously? You're going to go all Crazy Berry over this?"

Rachel death stared him until he backed out of her room and closed the door.

* * *

Puck made his usual next stop after a fight with Rachel and strolled into Quinn's room completely ignoring the fact that Quinn was straddling Artie on her bed with her shirt and his off. Quinn was thankful she was still wearing a bra, not that Puck would have noticed though he did give Artie thumbs up for getting Fabray shirtless. Artie sighed deeply and tucked his hands under his head patiently as Puck sat down heavily on the edge of Quinn's bed. If Artie hadn't been so sure that Puck was so under Berry's thumb that it was only a matter of time before he had her name tattooed on his chest Artie might have been worried. Quinn folded her arms across her chest and wiggled off Artie, giving him an apologetic smile.

"Quinn, Berry is going through another crazy phase," Puck told her gesturing with his hand that his girlfriend was insane. Extremely hot, but also very insane and Puck was one kinky bastard because he loved that stuff about her. Quinn frowned at him not going to talk to Rachel straight away like she usually did.

"You know one day I'm not going to be here to talk her down, and then what are you going to do?" Quinn asked him raising an eyebrow haughtily and Puck's face took on one of desperation.

"You and Berry can never be apart Fabray, she needs you."

Quinn laughed because she thought Puck was joking but he was deadly serious. Quinn sighed and placed a hand on Puck's shoulder.

"Puck, you are going to need to learn how to help her without me," Quinn spelled out for him very slowly and Puck considered her words and figured Quinn was probably right.

"Alight what do I do?" Puck asked ready to get started and Quinn smiled proudly at him, pleased by his growth from boy to 'man who dealt with crazy'.

"Well what's the problem?"

* * *

Rachel looked up as Puck strolled back into her room.

"Chuck and Blair."

"Excuse me?"

"We're Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl," Puck repeated what Quinn had told him to tell her and Rachel seemed intrigued but hesitant.

"I'm not familiar with their story," Rachel advised him and Puck took out the DVD's he was hiding behind his hand and tossed them onto her bed.

"Lucky for you I picked up season one and two."

Rachel perked up excitedly and thanked him for being so thoughtful in trying to cheer her up and find new people for them to claim to be mimicking.

Puck silently thanked Artie for being a computer geek. He decided to let her watch the series alone because he had to get home put he promised to pick her up the next morning. And he hoped all the crazy would have died down by then.

* * *

Rachel was smiling when she came bouncing down her driveway. Puck smiled; that was a good sign plus it was a good view because when she bounced like that you could nearly see her panties and Puck loved glimpsing panties; Rachel's panties to be specific. She climbed into the truck and then just beamed a huge smile at him near blinding him with her happiness. Thank you Gossip Girl.

"So?" Puck raised his eyebrows, "Are you happy to be the Chuck and Blair of Lima?"

"After watching yet another ridiculous angst filled teenage drama I have decided that as long as I get you in the end, I don't care if we are Jackie and Hyde or Blair or Chuck because when it comes down to it, we are Noah and Rachel," Rachel declared grandly giving a speech that Puck surprisingly completely understood and he felt exactly the same way.

"I'm getting pretty good at this 'boyfriend' stuff though huh?" Puck asked her proudly tensing his arms for her viewing pleasure and Rachel grinned.

"You're perfect," Rachel assured him then her eyes twinkled with mischief, "and you're arms are quite lovely."

* * *

Quinn's world was perfect. Puck and Rachel were happy again and Quinn had managed to finally get some time alone with Artie in the choir room before school which had been very, very good. She and Artie were headed to the lockers to pick up their books for their next class when Quinn remembered that she needed to visit the library. Quinn pushed Artie into the library and went to the rack of books towards the back where there were desks for studying. The library was completely empty, Quinn wasn't sure that 80% of the student body even knew they had a library. Quinn was looking for the book she needed when they heard a noise.

"It's too hard babe," they heard Puck groan loudly. Quinn's eyes widened. No way were Puck and Rachel doing it in the library. Quinn looked over at Artie who looked like he wanted to turn and wheel away.

"Oh Noah," Rachel said breathlessly her voice echoing through the racks and Artie's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

"Rachel?" Quinn called out as she rounded the racks and came face to face with Puck and Rachel who were sitting next to each other at one of the study tables. Their textbooks were open and they were both diligently writing in their notebooks. Rachel looked up as Quinn and Artie approached and gave a welcoming smile.

"Quinn, Artie, I'm glad to discover that you are both aware we have a library," Rachel greeted them gesturing to the empty library. There wasn't even a librarian; Quinn figured that Principal Figgins thought they didn't need one because the library was McKinley's best kept secret.

"You're studying," Quinn said slowly shaking her head in disbelief. She blinked rapidly a couple of times then looked down at Artie in bewilderment but he looked just as confused as she did. Quinn could have sworn that Puck and Rachel were...

"What did you think we were doing?" Rachel asked frowning at her boyfriend in confusion and when Puck smirked Rachel gasped with indignation turning back to Quinn to say in her most scandalised tone, "Quinn Fabray you have a positively filthy mind."

"Me? But you..." Quinn stuttered looking frantically from Rachel to Artie and then to Puck. Quinn could have sworn that the sounds she heard were Puck and Rachel going at it but here they were, innocent as can be.

"Come on honey," Artie gave his girlfriend's hand a pat leading her out of the library before she embarrassed the both of them further. Quinn left with him shaking her head in disbelief while Puck and Rachel watched them go.

* * *

Once Quinn and Artie were out of earshot Puck leaned over towards his girlfriend so that his lips brushed her ear and she shuddered against him.

"You are such a good actress Berry," Puck complimented her and Rachel flashed him her megawatt smile as she felt his hand creep up her thigh and under her skirt where it had been before they were rudely interrupted by Quinn and Artie.

"I cannot believe they thought we were actually studying," Rachel giggled parting her legs to give him better access and Puck licked his lips as Rachel's hand slid up his leg and then rubbed him through his jeans.

"You can be pretty persuasive babe," Puck told her groaning a little, and then he gave her a playful grin, "Care to persuade me further?"

And that was how Puck got Rachel to give him a hand job in the McKinley Library and he had Quinn Fabray to thank for that because apparently the thrill of almost getting caught turned his girlfriend on nicely.

* * *

**AN: If you like Quinn and Artie I am working on another sort of one shot for The Sex Detectives. It's called The Safari Guides (I think) and its Kurt and Mercedes featuring Quinn and sort of Artie by extension. Hopefully I'll finish it this weekend. Maybe.**

**Anyway hope you enjoyed this! Review!**


	26. AN: Sorry I know these are annoying

**HUGE AN:**

**I know I hate authors who do this and now I'm the one doing it but I just wanted to explain that I probably won't update this story for a long while. **

**I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago and now all my time is filled up with baby related planning :) I have an ultrasound this Friday to find out when I am due, should be around March 2011, so its still very early but I am planning on taking it easy.**

**So I hope you enjoyed this so far and I will mark it as complete from now but if I do start updating again I will change it to incomplete. **

**Thanks for all of your wonderful support through writing this little Puck and Rachel series. For something that started off small it sure ended up big and a bundle of fun. **

**Thanks again! **


	27. In Which Puck Hates Dopplegangers

_Disclaimer: Yeah I wish I owned Glee LOL_

_AN: This is a once off addition to this story. And also to update everyone I found out I am having a little BOY! All is going well, baby is healthy and no abnormalities that they could see in scans so come March 2011 I should have a tiny little baby to play with. This chapter is just to celebrate my news so here it is! Also sorry if the spelling and flow isn't great but I am pregnant and a little dopey right now haha_

_

* * *

_

**In Which Puck Decides He Hates Dopplegangers**

Puck liked guy day. There was nothing better than hanging with his friends, drinking some beer and playing some Xbox. Puck and Artie had crashed Finn's house and right now they were chilling and drinking their beers. Now that Puck had Artie it was even easier to look sad and pathetic outside the 7/11 until some poor schmuck took pity and bought them some beers. Best idea Puck ever had. It was totally worth the two hour lecture Rachel gave him about inappropriate use of their friends' disability.

"So San made me watch The Vampire Diaries and there are two of the lead chicks now," Finn explained excitedly, nodding his head and licking his lips with approval and Artie looked at him in confusion while Puck smirked.

"What?" Artie asked completely lost and Finn made a gesture with his hands.

"It's like double hotness."

Artie was silent for a long moment.

"I know I say this a lot to you Finn but...I...don't...under...stand...what...you...are...saying," Artie said slowly in exaggeration and Puck rolled his eyes.

Of the couples that had gotten together in Glee during the years only he and Rachel, Artie and Quinn and Finn and Santana had gone the distance to last till Senior Year. Brittany and Tina split when Brittany decided she was bi-sexual and wanted to date boys again. Kurt and Mike had broken up because Mike couldn't put up with Kurt's admittedly needy nature. Matt and Mercedes broke up when Matt's parents moved him across the country. They were all good friends still and Puck was sure that there were random hook ups between some of them that were kept secret but no one really judged. They were one big, happy, incestuous family. They had newcomers, Sam Evans was one who had immediately clicked with the group and had dated Mercedes then Brittany before ending up with Mercedes again. See, incestuous.

"Elena is the lead chick, but she has like a twin vampire named Katherine. She is super-hot and now there are two of them," Puck explained for Artie's benefit.

"Oh," Artie nodded in understanding adjusting his glasses before he grinned and looked at Puck tauntingly, "How do _you_ know that?"

"The same way _you_ know what happens every episode of One Tree Hill," Puck retorted easily and Artie's smile dropped. The two boys knew way too much about each other thanks to Quinn and Rachel still living together.

"Touché," Artie muttered his defeat and Puck smirked. That would teach him.

"Could you guys imagine? Two Santana's," Finn broke into their conversation smiling wickedly and Puck nodded taking his mind to what Finn was quite clearly thinking.

"Two Rachel's," Puck echoed him.

"Two Quinn's," Artie nodded approvingly and the three boys all looked at each other and grinned.

"Awesome."

* * *

So Puck really did like guy day; but he missed Rachel and she was taking longer than usual on her shopping trip with Santana and Quinn. Shut up, he loved her and all that. Puck didn't really think it could be classified as stalking if you were looking for your girlfriend at the mall. He was about to give up when he saw in the distance the familiar head of hair and the side curve of her face. Puck perked up and ran after her; planning to call her name when he had a better idea. Puck secretly followed Rachel through the department store she had disappeared into and eventually she stopped and bent over to look at some shoes. Puck smirked; this was too easy. Puck reached out and slapped her butt, leaving his hand on there and giving a squeeze as well for good measure.

"Hey there sweet cheeks," he said in his sleaziest voice and Rachel stood up slowly then turned to face him, her face bright red with embarrassment. Puck's mouth dropped open.

Sweet mother of God, that wasn't Rachel...it was Rachel's mother. And his hand was still connected to her ass.

"Noah it's so nice to see you again," Miranda said politely trying to inch away from his hand and Puck just continued gaping at her, unable to believe that he had just cracked onto Rachel's mother and squeezed her ass.

"What on Earth?" Rachel's voice came from behind them and Puck immediately wrenched his hands back and placed them in surrender position, palms facing Rachel who was standing with her hands on her hips and her right foot pumping up and down.

"I thought she was you!" Puck tried to explain and Rachel raised an eyebrow though it looked like she was trying not to laugh. Santana and Quinn were behind her and laughing like a couple of hyenas.

"You thought i was my thirty something mother?" Rachel asked him narrowing her eyes and Puck shrugged and then smiled winningly.

"Babe, you guys look identical from far away, and she has a great looking ass for someone her age."

"Thank you," Miranda accepted the compliment quietly and Puck gave her a wink before turning his attention back to Rachel.

"Just think, when you are your mother's age you will have a great ass too," Puck told her confidently placing an arm around her shoulders and Rachel just lost it as she started giggling.

"Noah, what will I do with you?" she chuckled through her laughter and Puck kissed her nose.

"I can think of a number of things," he replied lewdly and Rachel just laughed harder slapping his chest.

Puck relaxed. Crisis averted. And free pass for grabbing Miranda's ass. Nice.

* * *

Puck arrived at school Monday morning feeling like he had forgotten something. Monday's Rachel's dad's liked to drive her to school so he usually waited for her at her locker. He loitered casually around Rachel's locker waving at Finn and Santana as they strolled by hand in hand but then the bell rang it was time for class. Puck frowned at the empty hallway. Rachel was never late for class. He started heading to his first class when heard footsteps and smelt the familiar scent of Rachel's shampoo. He turned the corner and saw the door to the girl's bathroom closing and he grinned mischievously, there she was. Puck strolled into the girl's bathroom and walked over to the only cubicle that was occupied.

"Babe I missed you this morning, why don't you come out and give me some love?" Puck cooed suggestively knocking on the door and there was a long silence. Puck frowned and knocked on the door again.

"Rach? Rach I know you're in there it's just me, come out."

The cubicle door swung open and Puck gaped in shock at the figure covered in pink mush which was definitely not Rachel Berry.

"See something you like Puckerman?"

"Coach Sylvester?" Puck managed to choke out and Coach Sylvester stormed out of the cubicle and stood with her arms folded across her chest, her eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. Puck couldn't help but stare; the woman looked like she had been slushied. There was pink congealed gunge down the front of her tracksuit and some and even made its way onto her face.

"Care to tell me why you are skulking around in the girl's bathroom before I have you reported for sexually harassing me?" Coach Sylvester demanded and Puck held back the vomit that threatened to come up at the thought of sexually harassing Coach Sylvester.

"I thought I smelt Rachel's shampoo, its strawberry," Puck told her feeling more than a little stupid and he and Coach Sylvester stared at each other for a few moments, both clearly embarrassed to be caught like this.

"I forgot to put the lid on my strawberry protein shake," Coach Sylvester muttered then she poked him in the chest, "If you promise not to mention to anyone I spilled my shake on myself, I'll forget I saw your ugly mug in the girl's bathroom, deal?"

That was the best thing Puck had heard all day.

"Deal."

"Good now get lost," Coach Sylvester spat at him and Puck happily did as told.

* * *

Puck struggled through his classes until lunch still wondering why he hadn't seen his girlfriend or at least heard Rachel's voice all day. After his run in with Coach Sylvester all he wanted to do was hold onto his girl. Puck perked up at the sight of Rachel's tanned legs in her patented short skirt standing near Santana's locker and he hurried over and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Babe, you have no idea how glad I am to see you," he murmured nuzzling her neck and Rachel slapped at his hands cursing in Spanish as she struggled to get away from him. Wait, Spanish?

"Puckerman get your hands off me before I break them off."

"What the? Santana?" Puck pulled away from her like he had touched fire and Santana turned to face him rolling her eyes. Puck was more confused than ever, "Why are you wearing Rachel's clothes?"

Santana rolled her eyes again like it was such a chore having to explain herself but Puck felt that this whole situation kind of needed an explanation. Santana was a Cheerio and always wore her uniform, that she was dressed in normal clothes was weird enough but she was wearing Rachel's clothes.

"Some loser bumped into me in the lunch line and spilled his spaghetti all over my Cheerio's uniform, Rachel was the only one who had spare clothes so I broke into her locker and took them. I swear these are like leftovers from Sophomore year, look how short this skirt is," Santana tugged at the skirt awkwardly and Puck hid a smirk deciding not to point out that her Cheerios' skirt was just as short if not shorter and way more revealing. Chicks hated it when guys actually made sense.

Puck was still confused, if this was Santana then where the hell was Rachel? Santana turned back to her locker and started inspecting herself again, this time looking a little more approving.

"You know, I always thought Rachel's style was really ridiculous but I kind of like the short skirt and knee socks thing, makes me feel like I should be getting spanked with a ruler," Santana chuckled giving a smirk before using a ruler to playfully spank herself and Puck shuddered.

"You're disgusting," he told her bluntly and Santana's smirk became even more evil.

"Like you haven't done it to Rachel," Santana countered and when Puck's eyes widened in shock Santana gave him a smug look, "Yeah Puck, girls talk."

Rachel told Santana and the girls about their naughty time? This was too much, Puck needed to go hang out with dudes before he found out what else the girls talked about. Puck turned to go find Finn when Santana spoke again.

"I think I'm gonna break up with Finn."

Puck stopped and turned back to face Santana who had a sad look on her face. It was weird to see such a vulnerable expression on her, she was usually so confident.

"Why?" Puck asked curiously. Finn and Santana had seemed fine, he didn't know they were having problems, Rachel would have told him if they were since she, Santana and Quinn were all buddy-buddy now. Santana gave a rueful smile.

"Watch," was all she said gesturing down the hallway that was starting to fill with teens heading to their lockers for their next class. Luckily they had an extra Glee rehearsal instead of afternoon classes. Puck didn't know what he was looking for until he saw Finn's hulking figure coming through the crowd that parted for him like he was a giant in munchkin land. Brittany appeared at his side greeting him with a bright smile and Finn turned to her and this look came over his face. Like he was so happy to see her he might just burst. Like everything she said and did was amazing. Like he was in love. Puck turned back to Santana who was smiling sadly, "It's the look. It's that dumb look you get on your face when you see Rachel and when Artie sees Quinn. It's the look. Poor Finn, I don't think he even realises the way he feels about her and Brittany is just as clueless. In a way they are perfect for each other."

"San..." Puck started to say but then he stopped. What could he say? This just all round sucked. And the worst part was Finn didn't even know that he was doing it; that he was falling for Brittany. Santana gave his arm a gentle pat.

"Don't worry about me Puckerman, I'll be fine but when I break it off with Finn I want you to explain to him why. You know he'll be confused," Santana chuckled easily though there was a pain behind her eyes. Puck gave her a small smile.

"I'll speak Finnish for him."

"Thanks Puck."

"San!" Finn called Santana's name excitedly and Puck and Santana turned to watch him come towards them. Puck noted that look on Finn's face as he looked at Santana. Love, adoration, attraction, but Santana was right. Finn had been giving Brittany the same look as well.

"Hey Finn listen," Santana paused to look at Puck for the briefest moment before looking back at Finn, "We need to talk."

Finn threw Puck a confused look but dumbly followed his girlfriend to the nearest quiet corner. Puck decided to leave them to it and go seek out Rachel in the choir Room since Glee would start soon and she was always early.

Puck entered the choir room and saw Rachel sitting at the piano plucking some keys. He started to smile but then stopped. He had been mistaken so many times today that he didn't want to be further humiliated so he cautiously approached 'Rachel' and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Rach?" he asked and 'Rachel' turned and... "Ahh!"

Puck hoped that sounded manlier out loud than it did to his ears. It was definitely not Rachel. This was a thirty something woman with mousy brown hair, thick rimmed glasses, braces and freckles.

"Guess again sweet cheeks," the woman drawled lazily adjusting her glasses, "Brad is sick and I'm filling in today, I'm Celeste. But I can be anyone you want me to be."

Puck from then on swore he would never say 'sweet cheeks' ever again. Celeste flashed him a dry smile that Puck struggled not to shudder from then she turned back to the piano. Puck turned around to find Rachel standing behind him, looking perfect and smiling sweetly.

"Noah..." she didn't get to say anything else because Puck grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her soundly.

"Babe, I have had the worst day, everyone I thought was you wasn't you, where the hell were you all day?" Puck demanded feeling a little pissed off since it kind of was her fault he had been mistaking people for her all day since he hadn't seen her.

"I had a dentist appointment this morning remember? But I had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic so daddy took me home to sleep it off, I sent you a text message, don't you check your phone?" Rachel asked him raising an eyebrow.

Puck felt monumentally stupid.

"Uh, naa."

Rachel gave an amused smile.

"So who did you think was me?" she asked coyly and Puck shook his head.

"Babe you don't want to know," he assured her glancing quickly over at Celeste before focusing back on his girlfriend, "But as far as I'm concerned one Rachel is definitely enough for me."

Rachel laughed and threw her arms around his neck and Puck figured he may as well go in for the grope since Glee hadn't started yet. They were interrupted by Finn storming into Glee looking like he wanted to kick a chair.

"What did you say to San? What did you say to her?" Finn bypassed Rachel and started pushing Puck in the chest. Puck clenched his fists but restrained from reacting violently knowing that Finn was just pissed off that San probably broke up with him.

* * *

Rachel couldn't work out what on earth happened. One second everything was perfect with Noah and the next Finn was yelling and pushing and she didn't know what to do.

"Finn! Stop! What happened?" Rachel pushed Finn's chest with surprising strength and, not expecting the attack, Finn stumbled backwards off balance.

"Santana broke up with me," Finn told her angrily and Rachel sighed and pressed a hand to her forehead before turning back to her boyfriend.

"Noah, tell me you didn't have anything to do with this," Rachel said to him, though she was certain that nothing Noah said could actually affect any decision Santana made. If Finn had been thinking clearly he would have known that too.

"I didn't Rach," Noah told her bluntly and Rachel nodded then looked over at Finn who relaxed his tense shoulders.

"So what happened?" Rachel asked Finn using a gentle voice and Finn shrugged like he didn't know what happened either. One second they were perfect and the next she was dumping him.

"Finn you like Brittany," Puck decided to speak up again and Rachel turned to look at him in disbelief. Was he serious? Finn didn't like Brittany, he was in love with Santana, he had been for more than two years.

"What? I do?" Finn asked Puck unsurely and then looked down at the ground with his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think if he really did like Brittany and hadn't realised it.

"Santana noticed, and she wants you to be happy," Puck was telling Finn and Rachel screwed up her face in confusion. This wasn't right.

"But I was happy with her, I'm always happy with her, so what if I like Brittany, I love Santana," Finn protested collapsing into the nearest chair and Puck went over to sit next to him.

"I know you want that to be true but she doesn't think it is, I saw you look at Brittany and I don't think its true either," Puck tried to be as gentle as possible but Finn was immediately on the defensive.

"Don't tell me how I feel, I love her," Finn spat at Puck and the two glared at each other. Rachel held up her hands to interrupt them. If she wanted to get to the bottom of this she would have to go to Santana. Boys made absolutely no sense.

"Finn, let me talk to her okay?" Rachel implored and Finn nodded still glaring at Puck.

"Okay."

"And stop glowering at Noah this instant," Rachel snapped stamping her foot and Finn automatically dropped his eyes to the ground.

"Sorry."

Satisfied that there would be no more fighting Rachel flounced off to find Santana passing a couple of Gleeks on her way out. They had freshmen and sophomores and juniors now though the original eleven were still as close as ever. Rachel was glad that Glee would still live on after they had graduated.

Sure enough, she found Santana sitting in a cubicle sniffling. Rachel smiled on the inside; if Santana was upset about breaking up with Finn then she didn't break up with him because she didn't love him. That was one question answered.

"San," Rachel whispered softly and Santana jumped to her feet and pushed passed her to the mirror.

"What do you want Berry?" Santana sneered unkindly brushing at her face quickly, as though embarrassed to be caught crying and when Rachel raised an eyebrow at her rude behaviour Santana bowed her head sheepishly, "Sorry that was rude."

"What's this Noah is saying about Finn liking Brittany?" Rachel decided to get straight to the point and Santana sighed helplessly.

"He gets this look when he sees her. It's 'the' look Rachel, the love look."

That's what all this was about? The way Finn looked when he sees Brittany? Rachel held back a laugh and instead took Santana's hand.

"Let me show you something, come on," Rachel started tugging Santana out of the bathroom and she followed along without resistance until she realised that Rachel was leading her to Glee.

"I don't want to go in there," Santana dug her heels into the hallway floor and shook her head and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Just come in," Rachel said more sternly and Santana followed her into Glee avoiding eye contact with Finn then Rachel pointed to the chair next to her, "Sit."

Santana did as told obediently. Rachel made sure they had a good view of both Puck and Finn. Puck looked over at her and raised his eyebrows questioningly and Rachel just smiled and shook her head.

"Why are you making me do this?" Santana whispered to her harshly and Rachel gave her knee a comforting pat as they could hear voices coming down the hall towards the glee room. Rachel gave a knowing smile before leaning over towards Santana.

"Watch Noah's face when he looks at Quinn," Rachel advised Santana who frowned but did as told.

Quinn walked into Glee pushing Artie along and both Rachel and Santana watched Puck's face as he greeted Quinn. His face softened a little, and his smile was wide and friendly, his eyes fixed on her with a look of love and adoration. Santana gasped in shock grabbing Rachel's arm tightly.

"He's giving her the look. Aren't you angry or worried?" Santana asked Rachel wondering how she could look so at ease with the way Puck was looking at Quinn and Rachel laughed.

"San, of course Noah loves Quinn, he has the same look on his face when he looks at you, or any of the other girls in Glee. He loves you all. But I know he's in love with me," Rachel made sure to emphasise that sentence before looking pointedly at Santana, "Finn feels the same way about you."

"Oh," Santana's sad look broke into an embarrassed smile, "I feel kind of stupid."

"You are kind of stupid," Rachel retorted and Santana gave her a mockingly hateful look.

"That's just mean Berry, wherever did you learn to be such a bitch?"

"From a good friend."

Santana leaned over and hugged her. Rachel looked back over at Finn who was staring at Santana looking like a child who got told that he couldn't play with his favourite toy anymore...which kind of made sense.

"Will you go put Finn out of his misery now?" Rachel asked her and Santana looked over at Finn and smiled warmly.

"Yeah, thanks Rach," Santana said squeezing Rachel's shoulder before launching herself across the room and into Finn's lap. Finn looked surprised at first but as soon as she planted a kiss on him he didn't care about anything else.

Rachel sat there feeling mighty proud of herself and Noah came to seat himself beside her with an arm around her shoulders.

"You are a genius," he complimented her, kissing her temple.

"I know," she agreed then she gave him a stern look, "Just do me a favour? Next time one of the girl's has a problem, try not to help."

Noah gave her a wink and a salute.

"Aye aye captain."

* * *

_An: So not the longest chapter but this has been sitting here half done since I found out I was pregnant and I had a free moment this morning so I thought I might as well finish and post it. I won't be updating this in the near future which is why its complete but I hope you all enjoyed this extra little chapter. Baby did, or he just likes kicking my belly button, either way, hope you liked it!_

_BTW: has anyone noticed how weirdly creepy Schue is getting season 2? I'm not sure he means to be but when he did toxic in the Brittany/Britney episode I was like…awkward. And then he decided to be Rocky which meant that he would have been doing Toucha-Touch Me with Rachel in the play…very very awkward. I just found that really, really odd, although I wasn't opposed to seeing him with his shirt off LOL_


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